Saturday, 04 February 2012
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5 Reasons Being Single is Fabulous
With Valentine's Day quickly creeping up on us, it's hard to walk through a store without feeling a little bit of loneliness if your status is single. Suddenly boxed chocolates, flowers and everything red becomes unattractive for a month. But being happy doesn't mean having a significant other to give you those things.
After meeting loser after loser (losers with secret girlfriends, losers with commitment issues, losers who are immature), I decided to stop looking for happiness in someone else and start finding it within myself. Being single in college can undoubtedly be one of the best statuses because you can figure out what you want without the baggage of someone else's influence.
If you're feeling a bit grim knowing this year Feb. 14 will be spent alone, here's why being "lonely" isn't all that bad:
1. Friends come first
The friends I have made in the past six months while being single are ones I can always count on. I guarantee if I was in a relationship, these friends wouldn't be ones I now consider family. Being single gives me the time to make them a first priority.2. Endless possibilities
Internship in New York? Last minute vacation with a friend? No problem when you're the only person you have to worry about.
3. Independence is attractive
Who run the world? Girls! Beyonce says it all when it comes to independent women being confident and appealing. I'm not talking about being appealing to guys but exhibiting an independent confidence is attractive in all walks of life especially when applying for jobs.
4. You learn about yourself You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else. Being single forces you to be comfortable being alone. Through spending time with just yourself, you learn your real needs, wants, and desires without someone else influencing your decisions.
5. Expressing yourself in your own way
When I had a boyfriend, there were numerous times he would go, 'You're wearing that?' Some guys just don't understand women's fashion! From wedges to leggings, go ahead and wear what you want to make yourself happy without worrying about someone else's opinion.
Next time your friend is being all cute with her boyfriend, don't get jealous. Be happy with the relationship you have with the most important person in your life: you!
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Comments (53)
Hand out all the consolation prizes you want. That doesn't make us winners.
I like the way this is and the idea you're trying to portray - yes, it's nice to think about yourself.
But what does this have to do with being single? And what does it have to do with Valentine's Day?
I am engaged. That doesn't mean I don't think/care about myself. In fact, I have another person (my fiance) who cares about me too.
You can be happy being you any day, just like you can be happy in a relationship any day.
thought I wish to eventually fall in love I don't mind being single right now. I'm finally beginning to enjoy myself after about a 3 year bout with depression. I still have issues and I think I have to learn to love myself first before I can love someone else.
I am definitely taking advantage of being single. Cause let's face it, we don't take care of ourselves nearly as well when we are alone. You have to compromise with your partner all the time. It's a total partnership. There are just some things you can't do in a relationship that you can when you're single and vice versa. Even when you're with the right person they're just two different learning experiences. I've been seeing my friends more often, focusing on making myself healthy and honestly I can make whatever decisions I feel like and not have to worry about how it effects the other person.
When I walk through the store and see all the Valentine's Day merchandise, I just feel a sense of contentment that I don't need to waste my money on it. Is that so wrong?
Ummm ... you can still do/be all these things even if you're in a relationship??? All these things apply to me in my life, and I have a boyfriend. Don't lose your sense of self just cause you're dating someone. That's stupid.
Hah... ahah... ahahahahahahhahaaaaaa.
@lewk@xanga - <--- What he said.
love yourself before you can love someone else.
And you can have sex with lots of people! Lol jk
I love being single, but then again this is the first time I've been single since I was 12.
So it's about time to spend atleast a year of my life finding out who I am and what I likeand not what my s.o wants me to like and wants me to be likeHad no idea I was incapable of independence, accepting opportunities, learning about myself, and expressing myself (friends have been constant assholes so I don't much care about that one). These "it's great to be single" posts always make me think that the authors are more trying to convince themselves of these "facts" than anything else. I'm in a relationship, and I'm not a mindless zombie because of it, in fact I'm extremely happy. ;)
i think people are taking this a little too seriously. she's just trying to give people who might feel bummed about being single on Valentines Day a boost.
I don't have to buy anyone's dinner and I can have sex with whomever I want. Variety FTW.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - You seem really against buying a girl dinner. I feel like I've seen that same comment a hundred times recently.
@mirrorslie@xanga - I am. I'm sorry, but my money is for my use only. Buying a girl a dinner, even if once a month, total up to well over $1,000 over the course of a year. That's $1,000 I could be spending on bigger and better things.
Sorry, the health of my bank account lies in the balance. And yes, my bank account is more important than having a relationship.
Being single is a blast when you're with friends, but when your friends start getting together one by one. The desire for a relationship starts creeping up on you.
She wasn't suggesting that being in a relationship automatically makes you lose your sense of self/independence/yadayadayada. For some people, being single is not ideal and this is just a reminder to some of us out there who may not truly enjoy ourselves because we feel we have to depend on others for our happiness. If you're in a relationship and not a zombie - congratulations.
I like being single because that means I have no commitments or obligations to anyone else, nor do I have to put a large amount of effort or emotion into anyone. (hint I hate being single) FOREVER ALONE
@StatelessPilot@revelife - While I respect your clear headedness as to not wanting a relationship etc, I have to admit I often scratch my head wondering why someone as committed to singleship spends as much time as you do on a blogring about dating.
@ccccourage@xanga - I'll admit, I love pissing people off. It's one of my favorite hobbies.
If we are open to it, there are positives to many situations in life that may shallowly appear to be "less than". Having something or someone doesn't equal happiness, and not having that doesn't equal sadness. Still and all the evolutionary predisposition is for humans to couple up, and most people seem to seek that. But most of us enjoy many of the aspects of singlehood too.
When I was a kid Valentine's Day was about love, not just LOVERS. In school we handed out cards and candy to everyone in our class. We made Valentine cards for our parents and grandparents. My grandfather always bought me a heart shaped box of candy.
I still make cards for friends and my mom and dad. I bake brownies with sprinkles for the coworkers. It's not just about lovers, though that is what is commercially promoted because it makes a lot of money. That doesn't mean we have to buy into it if it doesn't fit our lifestyle.
My room mate and I went out for a steak dinner and exchanged cards last year, because we were celebrating the love and friendship we share.
Life, love and Valentine's day don't end even if your not knocking boots with someone.
good points
I don't care about Valentines day. I know I like being on my own and doing what I want for now.
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Thanks for showing that being single doesn't mean you are a pityable cat lady
@sleeping_on_the_edgeoftheworld@xanga - Preach it!
You can only spend so long being comfortable living by yourself until you realize that you really just spend a hell of a lot of time by yourself, and you're kinda done learning things that wouldn't just crop up over time - relationship or not. It's not uncomfortable and it's not necessarily bad. It just eventually slides into the realm of unexpected, which is - more often than not - an awkward place to be. All things considered, there's not a whole lot of benefit to being single outside being able to pick up and move out whenever the lease on the rent's up, and that isn't even an issue if you find yourself with a wild woman or gypsy queen...
@thatsnotarealword@xanga - I love your comment! I also like the fact that both our usernames have the word 'world' in them, and that you acknowledge the underlining meaning behind what I was trying to say. You extracted it from me and was also able to relate to it yourself. Sometimes I worry if I'm also becoming this wild woman or gypsy queen which you speak of...having said that, I've found myself COMFORTABLE being single but am I overall happy? Do I feel that my experiences in life would be better spent with someone beside me? As humans I truly feel that we desire connections with other people no matter our age,race,gender,ect... relationship wise, we all want to be with someone most adamantly. It just all makes more sense when you begin to think about man and women, how we have this wonderful ability to reproduce and the desire to be with one another. Quite beautiful really isn't it?
After how many years of never having someone for V-day, I really don't see it as a holiday of romance. I see it as a time to tell my friends how much I love and appreciate them (and if I had a s/o, I guess I could tell him that too). But a guy would really have to warm me up to the idea of it being a big deal. And honestly, the type of guys I usually date probably would prefer I don't really care too much about it. Sure, I want chocolates, but that is what my mom is for haha.
I want to ask this guy out, but I realized shortly after considering to do so, that Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I don't want him to think I want someone to celebrate it with, but saying so just sounds suspicious.
Sorry...not related...anyway, I do agree that these are valid reasons to a degree. Being single makes decisions like where to go to college, where to work, if you want to study abroad, ect ect ect easier because you don't have to consider how it will effect the relationship. It's not even so much your friends come first, but that you don't have to make that decision in the first place.
So to all those woman saying that you can have all this in a relationship: You have to make these choices, while single people don't. My biggest fear is having to choose between a relationship and a job opportunity.