Sunday, 29 January 2012
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Is My Husband Wrong?
I've been very frustrated and upset recently upon finding out that my husband is on multiple dating sites. He acts like there is nothing wrong with it as long as he does not act upon anything.
I find it to be devastatingly wrong because he is giving other women the attention I need, want and desire from him.
My question for you is, do you find it wrong for a married person to be on a dating site, yes or no and why?
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- From: Saintssweetie@xanga
- Name: Saintssweetie
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Comments (84)
Is he actually on there trying to find women or talking to them? if yes, are you serious? Not judging but uhm...
If he is on them, to me it's like he's "fishing" for girls...I guess to see who is interested in him.
I dunno...I think once you're in a committed relationship sites like that should be deleted or completely forgotten about.
Definitely wrong- BUT (and I don't know you or your marriage so this is just speculation) he may be doing it because he wants to feel wanted/attractive. If he can convince a stranger to flirt back with him than they think he's attractive and he in turn feels valuable. Maybe the underlying reason should be looked at. All I'm saying is he shouldn't be flirting with other women and interacting with women there is what that looks like to me, but if u can give him more romantic attention maybe he wont feel like he needs that? Like I said I'm not an expert on your relationship- I'm not even married, just kind of thinkin out Loud so take it for what it's worth
I find it hard to believe that he is on dating sites for no reason... If he doesn't see how this is a bad thing, based solely on how you feel about what's going on, then there is a problem. Some people may think that because it's on the internet and there is no physical interaction that they are doing nothing wrong. Judging by how upset you are, it's wrong.
agreed. @AllAmerican27@xanga -
He may be sending you a signal that he wants that kind of attention from you. Maybe he misses the feeling of dating you and falling for you and now he wants to experience that again. That being said, he can/should only do this with you and not by putting himself semi-on-the-market for other women.
@AllAmerican27@xanga - haha, you got that in 2 minutes before me so I'll just say I agree with this.
If he isn't taking care of business with you (sexually, emotionally) at home, then hell yes there is a problem with this.
Also, where is his respect for you? @_@ I'd be livid.@AllAmerican27@xanga - wow, that was really insightful. i actually wouldn't have thought about that. props.
This goes along the same idea when people have affairs in a relationship.
Someone cheating in a relationship isn't a problem, it's a symptom of bigger problems.
People don't cheat when they're happy.
You have a right to be frustrated by this but you should really try communicate with him and see what he feels is lacking in your relationship.
I'm concerned as to why this is a question. The title should be "My Husband Is Wrong."
No explanation needed. He's male, therefore he's wrong. You will never get any other answer out of a female driven site, and men (outside of QS) will generally stay out of it.
It is absolutely, 100%, no questions asked...wrong. He made vows to be united ONLY WITH YOU...forsaking ALL OTHERS. He is wrong.
In my opinion, married people have no business on dating sites. People on those sites are looking for someone who is -available- and ready to date. If you're married and you're trying to connect with these kinds of people, there is a problem in your marriage. And you might want to start by looking in the mirror.
And my question for you is...How do you know he's on dating sites?
If you are in a committed non-open relationship then there should be no need for dating websites. He either needs more attention from you, or he's just being an asshole.
A married person does not belong on dating sites and is only there for one reason and that is to cheat.
Yes, of course he's wrong. Now find out why he's doing it! Good luck.
Is your husband's name Newt Gingrich?
Hell yes it's wrong. What else is the point of a DATING site, if he's not on it to actually find other women? He's an idiot.
It's not cheating.
It sure as hell is emotional cheating.
And if it's not that, there's a loophole.
A married man has no business surfing a dating site, it shows poor character, mal intent and a possible willingness to engage in even more severe activities.
Do not allow him make you feel like you're the one doing wrong when you confront him. Do not allow him to brush this off as a minor incident, or an incident without consequence, it's problematic behavior.
Its wrong no matter how you look at it. If he needs attention from a woman, he needs to turn to you for that, his wife. I know some people just like to make profiles to answer questions about themselves, thats ok I guess, but if he is there, writing and responding to girls that is wrong and sick. You need to have a serious talk with him.
Yes. It's wrong.
I can honestly say it is wrong and if hes needing attention then he should talk it over.Because when he starts mingling on those sort of sites then hes fishing for a new catch.Its best to stop this kind of foolish behavior before a bigger problem arises and the meeting of cheating begins.My suggestion is tell him to delete them before the marriage turns into a nasty divorce