Thursday, 26 January 2012

  • I Think I Was Just Friend Zoned By a Guy

    I like this kid. I was pretty sure he liked me. I don't know any guys who really go out of their way to hang out with a girl if they aren't interested, or so I thought. We hung out casually but I thought things were going pretty well! He's kind of an awkward dude, and I'm sort of awkward myself, so flirting and was weird but I was pretty sure it was there.

    Then he started talking to me about all these other girls he was into and all these other girls that rejected him and I was like, "Why are you telling me this?" I think it's because... I WAS FRIEND ZONED!

    I don't even get this. It's not like we were good friends before so why hang out unless you were interested? I didn't even know guys friend zoned girls; I thought that was a girl thing?

    Am I over-thinking this or do you think I'm right and should just move on? Do guys really friend zone girls?

Comments (33)

  • fLiPgUy31O@xanga

    Not sure if he friend zoned you, but even if he didn't I say you friend zone him. If he's talking to you about other girls, friend zone him.

  • laytexduckie@xanga

    Anyone can friendzone. Looks like you'll just need to ask him how he feels about you if you want an answer. 

  • JusticeCho@xanga

    Friends are friends, just because you're the opposite sex doesn't mean he doesn't want to have a new friend.  Flirting also is no indication that someone likes you, I flirt with pretty much all of my friends male and female and I'm definitely not attracted to almost any of them heh.

  • Xbeautifully_broken_downX@xanga

    He could be trying to make you jealous instead of actually making a move...which, if that's the case, YOU should friend zone him. XD

  • KevEats@xanga

    Lol girl thing? You have too much ego.

  • beforedawn@xanga

    it could be he is trying your reaction... rejection is a horrible thing...

  • Digital_Angel21@xanga

    It's kinda startling the first time I realized a guy wanted to be just friends. I have had guy friends before, but they were like my brothers and we acted like siblings. Or they were into my best friend, and just kinda stuck around because we are cool people to hang out with. That all made sense to me.

    But then once I went on a date with this guy who I randomly hit on when I was messing around on a dating website. Had fun, gave me a kiss on the cheek, then I went to Egypt for 4 months. We hung out a couple times when I got back, and I thought we were dating, but he made no moves.

    Found out he and his girlfriend (now wife) were back together, but he still wanted to be my friend. He told me, in the sincerest way a guy can, that he really wanted us to stay good friends. I was a bit upset at first, I liked him (though after getting to know him better, realized he fit both of my deal breakers ha) but then I realized he was a really good friend. We haven't hung out since he got married (I'd feel awkward doing so before his wife meets me), but he definitely is my one of my pals.

    So yeah, oddly enough, he wanted to hang out with me just because he sees me as a good friend. Who would have thought!

  • AnonymousBlonde@xanga

    So only girls can have friends of the opposite sex?  Hate to break it to you, but not every guy you meet is either a) dying to get in your pants or b) dying to date you.  Some of them are genuinely only interested in getting to know you as you, hanging out to play video games, drinking beers, and picking your mind on how to get in the pants of girls they're actually interested in getting in the pants of.  It happens to everyone at some point, so you shouldn't feel too heartbroken, crushed, or defeated.  


    The best thing to do: accept and be happy that you've made a new friend that you can now pick the brain of.
  • T0m03@xanga

    He could just be looking for a certain reaction from you. I don't think it is necessary a move to friend-zone you. Also... What makes you think it's just a girl thing to put people in the friend-zone? That's kind of a double standard...

  • sunflowersforlove@xanga

    He could be looking for a reaction or maybe he just wants a girl friend. It's nice to have close friends of the opposite sex. I know I want to tear my hair out sometimes when I'm hanging out with my girl friends too much. It's nice to be able to call up a guy friend and just be able to hang out without thinking they want something extra. Maybe he just wants that, too.

  • npr32486@xanga

    Lol, just a girl thing?  Ya'll ain't the only ones with standards etc.  But next time, why not be upfront about your intentions?

  • Salivarysatisfaction

    Wow. When will girls get over themselves and realize men aren't sex-crazed lunatics who are all interested in every vagina they see?

  • fightingXstronger@xanga

    You're just asking to get rude comments, brah.

  • grammarboy@xanga

    What's wrong with just having a friend? If you want more, something more may develop from there. Just don't put the cart before the horse.

  • deemure@xanga

    yea. it cant happen.

    I've been friend zoned by guys plenty of times.

    If you really like the dude just tell him straight out.

    And then if you get for sure friend zoned just move on

  • thisiswhereItellyoueverything@xanga

    He's probably just trying to see if you're interested in him. Try actually directly communicating. 


  • Superman_aka_NEPP@xanga

    If the kid is as awkward as you say, he probably doesn't know any other way to see if you like him than to gauge your reaction from such a conversation. You probably are not friend-zoned here.

    But yes, little girl, men toss women into the friend zone quite often. For one of three reasons:

    1) He's not attracted to you. 

    2) He is attracted to you, but respects you too much to try to get into your pants.

    3) He is attracted to you, but figures you would never be interested in him.

  • Ladiiee@xanga

    definitely friend zoned!!

    BTW, love the picture!

  • WaitingToShrug@xanga

    I'm not trying to be rude, but why is it shocking that every guy isn't just waiting around for the first available pussy? Guys have standards also in what they want in girlfriends, they shouldn't be lumped together as desparate horn-dogs who will take anything on offer.

  • seasidehearts@xanga

    God, only a girl thing? Obviously you're not really awkward or else you wouldn't even dare to assume that. I've always been extremely shy and a little bit tomboyish so I've been friend zoned by boys 99.9% of the time; the only person who didn't friend zone me is my boyfriend who I met on the internet... He still thinks I'm weird hah but he at least thinks it's cute at the same time.

  • raspberryjade@xanga

    maybe he's saying it to see your reaction? I totally did that to my boyfriend in high school, it was to see his reaction/see if he liked anyone. hahaha it was a stupid and immature move, but it was high school so its expected :P

    maybe tell him you don't want to talk about other girls? then it might become clearer what his intent was with that.. it might make him realize you do like him, or it might make him realize that's not what girls want to talk about! lol

  • kor_girl@xanga

    Erm.... unless he has asked you OUT "on a date, one on one" don't assume that he was interested. Heck, if not asked out, you can ask HIM out on a date. Make yourself clear, you two can both be as awkward as Snowmen in Hawaii, but it doesn't mean you can't VOCALIZE the idea of a "date" to him.


    Guys do hang out with Girls. Even when they don't want to get laid. If you share similar personality traits, quirks, interests, then why not?


    He, most likely, just brought up other girls to see how you'd act. Will you provide advice? Would you suggest something to do about it? Or would you just ask him, "hey, why don't you ask me out?" Why don't you talk about other guys and see what he says to that? (aw, all this reading between the lines without a direct comment is sucky). Screw it, JUST ASK HIM OUT.


    You're not friendzoned until he says, "You're such a great friend, almost like a sister I've never had!"


    I heard that quite a bit in my high school years, just when I used to be obviously flirtatious with the guys I had a HUGE crushes on. >.< trust me, hearing it more than once does not make it pleasant.,

  • GagaMonster

    Of course guys can want to talk to a girl but only be friends....I think it's kind of messed up and stereotypical to assume that all men want nothing but sex from girls...I mean there are men who are more mature than that.  Anyway,

    It's possible that you were friendzoned, but it's also possible that this guy just has no tact at all and has no idea how to talk to a girl.  One of my exes was like that in high school....he'd try to talk to me like I was a guy friend, and while that's usually cool, he's tell me about girls he thought were hot, and then get mad when I told him I didn't want to hear about it.  Some guys just don't get it.

  • articulate_silence@xanga

    Thats a very jumpy thought process full of stereotyping and assumption. Just because he is talking about girls doesn't mean he "friend zoned" you. Maybe he always saw you as a friend, had no intention of being involved with you at all, for one. And for two maybe he is trying to get a reaction out of you or is trying to distract you because he is shy about his feelings for you. It could be anything. Talking to him about your feelings could probably clear things up, especially before you become too attached to him.

  • a_single_raindrop@xanga

    Maybe he just wants to be your friend. 

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