Sunday, 22 January 2012
When John and Liz began dating this past summer, I couldn't have been more happy for them. Despite being completely different people, they were both my friends and both had good character qualities.
I had been friends with John for years and he was a confidant-- someone I would talk to about an issue or event when I didn't feel comfortable talking to other friends. Liz was someone I knew for many years but had just become close with about a month prior.
In the early days of their relationship, I saw them together somewhat frequently. As one of their only mutual friends, they invited me along on plans with them. One time, they even attempted to set me up with one of their friends. (Disaster. Yikes.)
I was pretty much becoming the girl version of Ted on 'How I Met Your Mother.'
Then one night, it all changed. John, another guy friend of ours and I, all went out for a late night dinner while Liz was up at school. When he told Liz while we were at the table, she called him in an absolutely furious state, peeved that he would see me without her. It never happened again.
As time progressed and summer turned into fall, I met my current boyfriend. And, oddly enough, around the same time, John and Liz began to slip away. Conversations with John became rare and curt, until one day he stopped responding when I would try to talk to him.
Liz would make plans, just to blow them off without a word of apology. Their relationship became all show. My Twitter timeline clogged with mushy conversations and brutal fights between the two of them.
My Facebook newsfeed highlighted statuses John would post, boasting about how much in love and how great of a girlfriend Liz was. No other females appeared on his page anymore, other than Liz. She was just as ridiculous on her page.
I could have hidden the stories from the two of them until they got tired of each other, but I didn't. I deleted them from my friends list and my Twitter followers.
John and Liz got so lost in each other that they lost the people who cared about them in the meantime. I will only exert so much effort in maintaining a friendship before cutting it out of my life.
As the new year begins, many people have been buzzing about the phenomenon of decluttering your life. By making the concrete decision to remove them from my mind, I've begun to make room for people who actually care about maintaining friendships while in new circumstances.
My relationship with my boyfriend is fantastic thus far. I see him maybe twice a week and make time for my friends whenever possible. We encourage each other to work toward our independent goals and keep in contact with people we care about. Our relationship is ours, not the world's.
Have you ever lost yourself in another person? How do you handle losing friends to the charms of their new beau?