Saturday, 21 January 2012
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Songs to Keep You Strong After a Break Up
Recently, my on again off again boyfriend of 3 years ended things between us for good. It was after a particularly good "on again" phase, and I was a bit taken aback by his decision. But more than anything, I was HURT. I was the exact cliche, stereotypical, broken hearted girl that everyone pictures- crying while looking through old pictures, sleeping in his old shirt, re-reading our old Facebook conversations, listening to "our" songs, etc.
But then I realized- I needed to stop. What is the point of moping around? Sure, it helps temporarily. I actually think it's necessary when you first experience a break up. But there comes a point when we need to pick ourselves up and move on. Find that inner strength that each and every one of us has. It is difficult, trust me, I know. But it's something we all need to do.So that's what I did. I found my strength. I got rid of his stuff. Took his pictures down. Erased his number from my phone and de-friended him on Facebook. And instead of listening to "our" songs, I deleted them. And replaced them with new songs.
I was surprised how much the simple action of deleting "our" songs helped me. I replaced them with empowering, happier songs. It did wonders for me. So now, I will share some of my songs and hope that they can help out another girl who's just trying to pick up the pieces of a broken heart.
1. "In Real Life" by Demi Lovato:- I was never a fan of Demi Lovato's music. But one of my friends showed me this song and I loved it instantly. I heard it soon after I read a magazine article about Demi in which she declared, "I don't need anything else, including a guy, to feel whole." I love how strong she is and what Demi stands for. Nowadays, she's a good role model for the girls like me who are trying to find the strength to be on their own after a relationship.
2. "Who You Are" by Jessie J:- Let me start off by saying- broken hearted or not, this is a good song for anyone to listen to. Moreso than Demi, Jessie J is a strong woman and someone I personally love and am inspired by. This song itself is one of the reasons why. The lyrics are beautiful. It's all about being true to YOURSELF. It's empowering and a must download for girls going through a break up. Or any tough time in general.
3. "Brand New Day" by Trevor Hall:- I heard this song at my job and fell in love with it. Just hearing the song makes me smile. The lyrics are wonderful. Because just as the song says, it's a brand new day. Wake up and make it count. Live in the NOW, not the past. THAT is something I found very difficult to do, but listening to this song as I was beginning to think about the past really helped me refocus and feel better.
4. "Nothing Lasts Forever" by Maroon 5:- At first, this song may seem a bit sadder than the previous 3. But Adam Levine has a great way of taking break up songs and the sadness and pain associated with them and making them into great songs like this. What I like most about this song are the lyrics. They're spot on. Especially the chorus and the line, "It hurts, but it may be the only way." Because in a lot of cases, breaking up and letting go of the other person ARE, in fact, the only way to heal, move on and live a healthy life.
5. "Miss Me" by Andy Grammer:- I just recently discovered this song and have had it on repeat for a good week. Andy Grammer is great when you need a pick me up song (see also "Keep Your Head Up"!). But this song speaks to me, at least, because it literally is saying, "You're gonna miss me." Because ladies, that's what we need to realize. He WILL miss you. He might not come crawling back to you, but that's OK because he HAD his chance. You BOTH will be hurting, but it's up to you to find your strength and show him what he is missing. Because when you're strong and independent, no one can bring you down!
Those are just a few of my favorite post-break-up, need to stay strong and move on, songs.
What are your favorite songs to get you through a break up?
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About the Author
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- From: catchandrelease_x@xanga
- About Me: My name is Laura. I'm a college sophomore. I'm studying biology, contemplating pre-med. I love song lyrics, books, blogging, tweeting, running, smiling and making others smile :) Tough times don't last; tough people do.
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Comments (47)
i like these songs. I also like "Thank You" by Estelle.
since you've been gone by kelly clarkson is my break up anthem
demi lovato - mistake
@CrAdLe2daGrAve@xanga - I thought "Since You've Been Gone" was by Weird Al, which incidentally makes for a decent breakup song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4539G-5yUgg)
I always thought "Knowing Me, Knowing You" by ABBA was the ultimate break-up song. Then again it could be just because I'm an ABBA fan.
"...it's up to you to find your strength and show him what he is missing."
This is a terrible idea. If this is what you're doing, you're not truly building strength from within.
"Re-Arranged" by Limp Bizkit.
Silence.
Jason Derulo - Ridin' Solo
Today My Life Begins - Bruno Mars ; a very comforting song!
It's My Life by Bon Jovi is a good one.
Oh man. I can't listen to music at all for months haha.
Why does everyone who posts on Datingish have TERRIBLE taste in music? (Obviously this is just my opinion but sometimes it's difficult to fathom).
by Adele? :D
No songs in particular, but I listen to a lot of Bright Eyes, Elliott Smith, and The Smiths. Those are the big three.
For a while, anyways, until I realize I need to start listening to some happier stuff before I go through some type of episode.'Fighter'- Christina Aguilera (I tend to be very angry for awhile. This helps dissipate my anguish and rage)
'You Oughta Know'- Alanis Morissette
'I'm the only one'- Melissa Ethereidge
'Just a Ride'- Jem (this helps bring me down and give me perspective when things suck in general)
'Irreplaceable" and "Single Ladies" - Beyonce
'Last Christmas' - Cascada
'Jar of Hearts' - Christina Perri
'Not Afraid'- Eminem (gives me motivation to get up off my ass and treat myself with dignity)
'Mr. Know-It-All'- Kelly Clarkson
'Real Love'- Mary J. Blige
'White Liar'- Miranda Lambert
'Just a dream'- Nelly
'This is how you remind me'- Nickelback
'Ex-Girlfriend'- No Doubt
"So What"- Pink
'Blurry'- Puddle of Mudd
'Addicted'- Saving Abel
'Tattoo'- Taylor Sparks
'Dear John' (sad)- Taylor Swift
'Picture to burn' (mad)- Taylor Swift
'Hope it Gives you Hell'- All American Rejects
'Maybe we're not meant to be'- Theory of a deadman
'True Colors'- Cyndi Lauper
'The world at large'- Modest Mouse
@stanlee255@xanga - Ah, good one. Forgot about that.
It depends on the situation. I usually listen to
- Dusk and Summer by Dashboard Confessional
- Broken hearts and concrete floors by Dashboard Confessional
- Dear John by Taylor Swift
- Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer
- Dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer
- You and I both by Jason Mraz
or
Boxcar Racer and Matchbook Romance when I am in the angry stage.
Korean music.
I came to read this because of the Mike Ness picture. i was sad to find none of his or Social Distortion's songs. lol
@Anonymous - that's your opinion and that's fine. I found my inner strength. I found the ability to stand on my own two feet and show him I don't need him and it drove my ex crazy, so...
@Anonymous - This isn't my entire taste in music. I have quite an eclectic range, actually. These are just five songs I found helpful during a break up is all :)
@lovelikerockets422@xanga - Good songs! I like all of those as well!
@DrummingMediocrity@xanga - "Fighter" is an awesome break up anthem. LOL :)
Gravity - John Mayer
Nsync's "I thought she knew" would be a good song for guys who get dumped and thought they gave it their all. Then again...Nsync had mainly female fans so...not sure if guys would like this song.
i have a ton of songs but my favorite is ingrid "maybe".
@Stacey@xanga - I probably shouldn't have chosen the Mike Ness picture for this post when editing it, but it's a really fitting shot of him. I couldn't resist. Maybe I'll make a similar post with my own list of songs.