Thursday, 19 January 2012
I seem to be provoking many controversial topic discussions so here is another one. My husband's cousin was dating a girl five years ago and four month after they broke up, she called him to inform him that she was five months pregnant and was keeping it. Let's call the guy Bob. So Bob tried to make the relationship work for the sake of the kids (she was pregnant with twins), and they tried for years.
The woman was extremely jealous and they would end up having crazy fights almost daily. He moved out of the country to come to the U.S. by work visa and would go back to her twice a year and try to work it out. They would go on family vacations with kids, etc. Each time he went we thought he would marry her and bring her with him. He never did. He said that he cannot live with a crazy person, and would never marry her. Yet in a few month he would go to her again, stay in her house with the kids, and promise her their future together.
About a year ago he met a woman in the U.S. and they started dating without letting the mother of his children know. Well, she found out. His new woman is over the top with PDA. She is so annoying with it that many of his friends refuse to hang out with him when she is there. She posted a picture of her and him making out on Facebook and surprise surprise, the baby mama saw it. Well, about six month into their relationship she started pressuring him to propose to her.
They went together to his home country so she could meet the kids. When the mother of the kids found out about the relationship she was livid with anger, refused to let him see the children and changed her phone number. Bob proposed to his new girlfriend while there. According to her, she got in a huge fight with him as to why is he not proposing after six months together. The new woman, although pretending to be sad, seemed to act very happy.
She is planning two weddings, one in America and one in his home country. It's extravagant and she wants to invite over 200 guests, including people she went to high school with. Bob used to send money to his kids, but lately he has been asking to borrow money from friends and family for little things, claiming that the wedding is sucking him dry. He hasn't seen his kids in a year. And his new woman complains that he doesn't spend enough money on her.
When asked if she is ready to be a step mother, she says: "Of course, the kids are in another country, how are they really going to affect OUR relationship?"
Ladies or gentlemen would you date/marry someone who has kids from a previous relationship? If yes, would you expect that person to choose you and your future together over his/her existing children?