Tuesday, 17 January 2012
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Need Ex-Girlfriend Out of My Life
This post was submitted anonymously.
I lived with this girl for 6.5 years. We were practically common law spouses. We separated last year, amicably at first (she initiated it) but I was having more trouble with the separation than she was. We were trying to treat it as a possibly temporary thing 'til we got our heads straight, but she was clearly less committed and was acting shady, and two weeks later I found out on my own that she had replaced me with an eboyfriend 2 days before initiating the break up.
I said my piece to her and dumped her immediately, cut her out of my life completely, on Facebook, and all social media.
Trouble is she's still on my mind a lot. I get random short messages from her now and then that are meaningless to me (holiday wishes, inside jokes, etc.), but since I'm still hurting from what she did (and she's still back with her ex) I'm responding with only friendly, meaningless responses until she actually reaches out to me and tells me she wants something from me. I figure I'm maintaining a clear but respectful distance for my own sake (and so it doesn't give her the feeling that her actions have control over me).But I continue to see her activity on mutual friends' Facebook posts. I don't want to block her — that would be an obvious gesture and she would notice. But I don't want to see her posts either as it's keeping her in my brain.
What can I do?
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Comments (42)
....the fuck? If you haven't blocked ALL of her activity and are still talking to her via FB, you haven't gotten rid of her entirely. Stop torturing yourself! Please, pick up a new hobby, talk to friends about how you feel, and truly get her out of your system.
If you didn't want to see her messages everywhere, you would block her. If not, stop complaining. I don't want to come off as harsh, but it seems to me that there's a simple solution to this that you just can't seem to bring yourself to do.
quite honestly shes a bitch block the fuck out of her. who cares, you have absolutely no reason to even attempt to be nice. when she texts dont respond- LET IT BURN.... !
You can easily block her and her messages. She betrayed you, she really hurt you. Yes, you dumped her, but that doesn't mean you didn't love her. It's just that you didn't find her behavior to be acceptable at all. (I wouldn't find that behavior to be acceptable in my book, either.) I would suggest blocking her and focusing on yourself. It won't be speedy, it takes time to heal a broken heart. She clearly don't value you much to have been getting involved with other men before breaking up with you. Find a hobby, take a class to learn something new, spend time with friends and family, physical activities, etc. Best wishes.
I agree with the commenters, stop torturing yourself. Delete her, block her, CHANGE your number, get her out of your life and start fresh! If you don't do those things, she'll always be lingering and you'll always be hurt. It'll take some time to move on, but as other commenters suggested, take this time to find a hobby, start exercising, focus on yourself and enjoy yourself :)
Block her, right now! You, judging by what you wrote, seem like a really good person. Don't allow seeing things on Facebook to determine the way you might live the rest of your life. Block her, meet someone else, continue to be a good person. Good luck!
While I do not agree with their language, I do agree with the above. It sounds like you are holding out hope for something to happen when I HIGHLY doubt she will be in your future (was with someone else two weeks later, you said it was last year). Give it time and once you have gotten over her, then MAYBE you can be friends. MAYBE.
You can block her...?
How would that be obvious? She doesn't have to know that you blocked her, she could always believe you just deleted your facebook. And if she finds out you blocked her, oh well. Why do you care if she knows or not. If I ever block my exes I freaking hope they find out! Then maybe they can go on and possibly feel like shit and be offended by it.
delete her and don't answer back to "meaningless" messages. don't get caught in the trap of, "let's be friends". it doesn't work.. maybe in the future, but not now. just don't do it.
When I split up with my ex it was all amicable too...until I found out that he cheated on me (I already had suspicions, then I found out for sure) anyway I stopped texting him, I totally avoided anywhere he used to frequent and I deleted a lot of people I only had on fb because of him (I had heaps of his friends on there I didn't even like any of the people he knew!) and I blocked him and hid our mutual friends fb from my feed, cos I couldn't delete them but I didn't want to see anything to do with them because it always made me think of him and he would comment on their statuses. And my point is that it was the best. I literally never think of him now, I have no idea what's going on in his life unless one of my stupid friends tells me lol but it doesn't hurt anymore and besides he got the girl pregnant who he cheated on me with so that's a victory for me hahaha so cut her out COMPLETELY you will feel better!
You may be able to filter who sees what on your facebook. Maybe go to settings and privacy?
@isitreal_no@xanga - oh you go girl
@DrummingMediocrity@xanga - lol
You could always just send her a little message saying that you don't mean to hurt or offend her, but you are having trouble getting past your relationship while still remaining in contact with her, and ask her not to text you any more and definitely FB block her. You're not trying to be spiteful or mean, you just can't move on while staying buddy buddy with her.
"Hide" her on Facebook. That's what I did to my ex, totally works, never saw his posts, and stopped caring about it. If you go to one of her posts on your feed to the right top of it there should be a little x or something and click that
@emiliahhhx7@xanga - This is a good idea.
you actually CAN block her! she wouldn't know because there fb doesn't post a notification to the person being blocked.
it's peace, not piece*
but in response to your question, you need to move on.DAlete. lol sorry but even if she does notice, you really should care more about your ability to move on than her being offended or whatever. trust me - life is SO much easier after you block them! or hide their feed at least, that worked for me w my ex, but we were not together nearly as long/very many mutual friends, all that sad stuff :(
blocking does sound like a harsh thing to do especially with other mutual friends involved. but I would say to just try to focus on yourself or your favorite things. little bits of her will start fading from memory and you'll be happier for it. :D
@mL4ever928@xanga - he could've meant it either way.
learn your way 'round facebook, kids!
Yes, do what the other people are suggesting and hide her!
rid that whore.
Block her. Hiding posts won't prevent her from sending messages to you.
If she had already cheated on you, then it was only a matter of time before she broke it off with you.
Don't block her, just ignore her.
The only wway she'll come back to you is if you ignore her and continue on with your life.