Being a woman, I seem to believe that we over-analyze by default. It's not something that I'm proud of but no matter how hard I try, I can't help it. I'm not sure if it's a sign or trait of negativity but I have noticed that when I really train myself to not do it, I feel much more stress free and happier.
I notice that I over analyze when I'm alone with my thoughts. I know that I'm driving myself crazy as I do it but it doesn't help. Somehow, I can over analyze a sitaution, relationship or conversation over and over again in my head. I also end up having conversations with my boyfriend about situations or things that I come up with and as patient as he is, he even sees that it's a problem. Maybe it stems from insecurity? I certainly, as I'm sure as most of you, definitely have my share of insecurities. I don't want to over analyze so much that I end up sabotaging my relationship. It's definitely a problem and I need to make more of a conscious effort to stop it.
Do you guys have insecurities? How do you stop? Has it hurt or helped your relationship in any way??
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I used to be a terrible over-analyzer and I ruined pretty much every relationship I had. I think what helped me stop was the realization that it was not only driving me crazy but that my analyzing and assumptions were not always accurate, many times what I thought the other person was thinking or feeling was more negative than the truth. It made me feel bad and obsessive to do it anyway and I wanted that to stop.
The best way to stop is to first realize when you're doing it, usually when you think the same thought more than 3 times in a row. Then make yourself do something else. Don't simply try to think about something else but get up and get going. Don't do mindless stuff either but something that takes thought, otherwise you'll be doing an activity and still analyzing. You'll start having a life that doesn't revolve around your boyfriend or friends actions if you can focus on something other than them.
There is time to think about things, and put serious thought to it, but if you become obsessive in your thoughts, it's no longer a constructive mental activity. Your mind can be trained and you're the trainer. If you allow yourself to get into obsessive thought patterns, your brain will become programmed to do that. If you want to change that programming, try something new like thinking more positive thoughts and getting into activities that you really enjoy. If you do that enough, it will become the new pattern your brain falls into. It takes time but if you want to, you can change.
I do analyze things a lot, but I find that in a lot of situations where someone accuses someone else of over-analysis, there's at least some lack of consideration happening on the other side.
I tend to think way too much but not over myself or my insecurities, just stuff.
I try not to be an over-analyzer, but you really can't pass off every uneasy feeling as being a simple over-analysis. Part of maturing into a good spouse is learning when it's okay to set that paranoia to work, and when it's just you.
It's also okay to admit that some people spark that over-analyzing mindset more than others do. It's better to admit you aren't compatible early on than to waste years placing unnecessary stress on both people. A strong sense of security and stability is so important in a long term relationship.
yes I do it. yes it is detrimental to my relationships. no I don't know how to stop.
when i was younger, i did have a lot of insecurities but as i got older i got rid of them. i've realized that if he didn't like me for who i was then he wasn't worth it and if he's going to knit pick every part of me, then he's the one to go not me.
In my store, I am alone for hours and hours that I end up doing everything you just said. lol. So yeah, I do. I am sure if I had a job where I was busy constantly or at least a lot more, I wouldn't worry so much or stress out like I do. Yep. Then I will go to my boyfriend with problems that never existed and he will look lost. @_@ That is when I realize I am going crazy from overthinking at work. So I remind myself that and think on other things or read so that my brain won't screw my daily life over. =)
Men are forced to flush out their insecurities in order to attract women.
used to be. apparently that was one of the factors to my last rs ending.
so i made myself stop and life is better in general.
I call that the "House Syndrome". Some people think that something means more than it does and tend to think they know more about they psychology behind it when they don't.
It's ok to gather evidence to prove something about a current situation in a relationship. It's not ok to come to conclusions because you think you know how to read people and conversations.
As for insecurities, it's fine to have them. We would not be able to improve ourselves if we are always confident that there is nothing to improve. The question is: If you have insecurities, what are you doing to get rid of them?
-X-
When it comes to over analyzing something it usually comes prior to dating (at least for me) you know that insecurity where you wonder if the guy really likes you or hes just being friendly. I used to be a real over analyzer in that department. I don't consider it a great trait to have. I eventually just gave up and figured if he likes me and I'm not getting the hint well he should man up and try a more direct approach. Cuz in the end the insecurity is only deepened from over analyzing wither it be in a relationship (such as over thinking about a certain girl friend your SO has) or while hitting up the single's dating scene.
Yes. I do it over everything. Every. Little. Thing. And it can drive me insane. It has caused major headaches and sickness for me actually. To the point where I just slowly need to realize that I HAD to let it go, due to my health. Its hard sometimes, depending on the situation. Especially if I get involved with guys and then dump them, I can spend months analyzing that, trying to get past it.
Identify the source. For me, low self-confidence leads to a need for positive affirmations and all sorts of overthinking.
I over analyze everything. It's bad. I get so annoyed with myself.
I am in the exact same position. Like to a tee.
I over analyse everything! So much so that i've analysed my boyfriend so much that I know when he says 'i'll text you soon' he means he'll text me in a few hours and if he says 'i'll text you later' he means he's busy and will probably text me tomorrow.I am absolutely terrible when it comes to this and I worry and stress about the smallest things. It definitely stems from my insecurities, but I don't know how to rid them! My boyfriend is pretty good when it comes to it and he just reassures me that everything is fine. But i completely know what you're talking about!I used to over analyze all kinds of things (mainly useless things) every minute and second of the day. It was unproductive.
After taking a personal development seminar, I started feeling more with my heart. The more and more I feel, the more automatic feeling has become. Also I'm just so busy I don't even have time to think. :)
I could think negatively of this or that but why do so when I can use that time more productively and focus on growth and all the endless opportunities.
i try not to overanalyze things. it takes up time and effort and is just exhausting.
yes i try not to over analyze things but that can be hard! i hate having to think too much.. it take awhile to become more carefree! at times i don't care a lot.. just depends upon my mood
I think it is a societal problem that critical thinking is called "over-analyzing".
Unless you're coming up with the wrong conclusions, thinking is good. Continue to do so.
I over-analyze things, sure, but I try not to think of it so negatively. Yeah, I realize it's exhausting and often times not good for mental health, but at the same time, I learn a lot from analyzing things, and it's neat to play around with ideas, even if it isn't noticeably "productive". It's even better if you have someone to over-analyze things with-- it's great to deconstruct the hell out of things with a partner.
I used to want a relationship and over analyse the situation. Now I don't want a relationship so when a guy shows interest; I repress any over analytical thought that occurs naturally because I don't want to have to deal with the drama of facing the facts. I rather be blissfully unaware.
yay you still get on :) how you been?/?
oh gosh! guilty as charged, i used to be an over analyzer but i find that i don't do it as often anymore. it is stressful. does this goes the same for "thinking about the worse case scenario?". i'm not a pessimistic person at all but i always keep my guard up. i need to stop it though because it makes me look like a crazy lady sometimes lol. i need to be more easy going when it comes to "why aren't things working out", no more "what ifs". just go with the flow.
@Whatsthat@momaroo - Perfect answer.
You need to keep yourself busy. Read a book or something.
Of course I overanalyze!
I'm very insecure and paranoid, and I tend to worry A LOT.
I get scared I don't deserve my boyfriend because I tend to be sensitive at times, and there are many times where I overreact. However, it has in a sense made my relationship stronger, because my boyfriend is very patient with me and always assures me he'll always be here, and if I'm feeling doubtful or losing feelings in any way, he won't let me go without a fight. Although I wonder what he sees in me; he obviously loves me a lot to deal with my neurotic self :p