In an article on Yahoo.com, I read that Stephen Hawking, a physicist, and also author of "Brief History of Time" considers women a mystery.
Women are a mystery to British Scientist Stephen HawkingI find it interesting. The man is a genius when it comes to physics, but when it comes to women he is similar to Homer Simpson. Well, not to stereotype, but majority of men are like that. For such men, here's a small guide to women.
Whether you are single or have a girlfriend/married/engaged/whatever, women want you to do a few things. Now, some women may verbalize these needs, others are passive-aggressive about it.
Either way, if a man doesn't do this, well, someone should exclude him from the dating/mating pool.
1. Women love attention from their man. We want you to show that we are your only. Pay attention to us. Take a break from your video game and kiss us. Or if the woman is awesome, give her the game control, or get another and play with her. Or if you are with your buddies, don't be a dick and ignore her. Include her in the conversation; ask for her opinion. Moreover, call her at least once a day. Text messages are cool if you're on the go, busy, or what not, but find a few minutes to just have a phone conversation.
2. You don't need to have a huge wallet, but
if you don't buy your girlfriend anything, or ask your woman for money, then it just shows you can't support her, and for some women that's a turnoff. Yes, it's the 21st century, but it's just being polite and chivalrous. If once in a while you buy her a present, and it doesn't have to be diamond earrings, it can be like a teddy bear; or better yet, make something for her.
3. Show her that you really do care/love her. Don't play mind games. I don't get why some "boys" go around playing mind games. Be straight up; tell her how you feel.
4. Likewise, if there's an issue or you're not feeling sure about the relationship, SPEAK UP. That way, you can work things out. Don't keep it bottled up. If your girlfriend/wife/whatever said something that hurt your feelings/pride, than speak up! She won't know otherwise, and that goes for women also. Speak up.
5. Discuss what type of relationship you want to have before you date her. If you want marriage, tell her. If you just want sex from her tell her. If you want friends and benefits, once again tell her. Don't leave her guessing. Women, for the most part, prefer relationships where they find their true love, or experience love. If you want her for sex, then don't start a relationship! Then you have to deal with the "crazy bitch."
6. Which leads me to this:
women are bitches. Well, some are nice and bitchy, but others are pure bitches. If you want a bitch the whole time, who is a gold digger and plays with your emotion, then go for it. But calling a woman who is nice a bitch the whole time, that's just an insult. A women deserves to have a bitchy moment from time to time. But if she's always a bitch, I'd say ditch her, unless you like that.
7. Women are emotional creatures. We are led by our emotions for the most part. We aren't always logical, so keep that in consideration. Don't play with our feelings, that's how you turn women "crazy." Also, this leads me to discuss about PMS, we don't want our man asking us when we are overly emotional if we are "PMSing," especially, if we aren't. So be careful with that. Bottom line: Respect women and their emotions.
These are some basics that most women want men to know about. Yes, we are a mystery, but so are men.
Did I leave anything out? And men, does this guide help out?
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Comments (81)
God is also a mystery to Hawkings. Maybe he'll just say women don't exist just like he says about God.
@sometimestheycomebackanyway@xanga - Maybe God is a woman. Therefore, God = Alanis Morissette.
5. is not applicable. even if you do tell them (and yes it has happened) they still become as equally upset as if you were not to tell them and they find out. Not that I care, I do say it anyways, to laugh at them later for their indecisiveness.
Please. Just grow up with 2 older sisters. It's not THAT hard to understand them.
1. Duh. Men love attention from women, too. Not exactly a mystery.
2. Why do women operate under the delusion that they are entitled to the fruits of our labor? ESPECIALLY in the 21st century, when women are as capable of supporting men, too. The day it becomes socially acceptable for a man to say, "Hey, if I don't do well in college, I can just find a nice woman to support for me," is the day I'll stop viewing this advice as one step above gold-digging.
3. Of course, the kicker is that women are attracted to men who are mysterious compared to the guys who lay everything out there for women to see, so this is a classic case of saying one thing when you really want another.
4. Duh!
5. I call bull on this. There are plenty of women who want just sex, and there are also plenty of women who just want a wallet.
6. Women only deserve bitchy moments when they give men the right to have theirs, too. We're all pretty bitchy creatures, men and women.
7. Translation: We want you to believe we're more irrational than we really are, so you won't suspect us when we use you.
We contrive things like "women's intuition" to explain lucky guesses, and the "feminine mystique" to make women more mysterious than they really are.
I think it's quite telling when we as men are conditioned, from childhood, to make up stories that make women seem much more mysterious and exciting than they really are. We've got to stop putting women on pedestals, and start treating them as humans - as equals.
I LOVE this post.
My fiance loves Stephen Hawking and is so fascinated by his work and his views of women match up pretty closely too. My boyfriend is totally oblivious to a lot of things and I had to teach him a lot. I agree with most of this list.
Bottom line: Men will NEVER understand women. Stop trying.
@lttlegel@lovelyish - Agreed. Sometimes the stupidity of some women is so staggering it boggles our mind. No point in us trying to rationalize women, right?
(This is meant to be sarcastic, haha)
"We want you to show that we are your only. Pay attention to us. Take a break from your video game and kiss us."
What about what we want? What if we prefer to kiss you some other time when we're not in the middle of a game? Don't you think it's a tad unreasonable to EXPECT something like this from a guy? Or to think that something like a guy not kissing you in the middle of a game MUST mean that he doesn't care about you enough. Talk about really fucking insecure.
"Moreover, call her at least once a day. Text messages are cool if you're on the go, busy, or what not, but find a few minutes to just have a phone conversation."
Another sign of insecurity. You're asking guys to baby their girlfriends. I have a suggestion for women if they want to date a guy: Stop demanding petty shit. Grow up and take some responsibility for your own emotions, rather than burdening guys with all the things you're sensitive to. People say men should 'man up', well I say women should 'woman up' and stop acting like children. Then maybe they'd be date-able.
"You don't need to have a huge wallet, but if you don't buy your girlfriend anything, or ask your woman for money, then it just shows you can't support her, and for some women that's a turnoff. Yes, it's the 21st century, but it's just being polite and chivalrous. If once in a while you buy her a present, and it doesn't have to be diamond earrings, it can be like a teddy bear; or better yet, make something for her."
It's being polite to support women? I think it's more than 'polite'. I think it's a HUGE FAVOR. The fact that you're minimizing this shows just how entitled you are to a man's money. Men are not disposable wallets and ATM's. They're not here to support YOU. That's your fucking job. If a man wants to support a woman, that's all fine and dandy. But no man should be REQUIRED to do this just to be considered date-able. Any and every woman who thinks a man is required to support her should be excluded from the dating pool. I know I've already done it and I have no regrets whatsoever. It's going to save me a lot of pain, and it's going to save me a lot of time being spent trying to satisfy adult children.
"Which leads me to this: women are bitches. Well, some are nice and bitchy, but others are pure bitches. If you want a bitch the whole time, who is a gold digger and plays with your emotion, then go for it. But calling a woman who is nice a bitch the whole time, that's just an insult. A women deserves to have a bitchy moment from time to time. But if she's always a bitch, I'd say ditch her, unless you like that."
A woman does not "deserve" to have a bitchy moment. That's, once again, entitlement that is beyond childish. Can she be excused for having a bitchy moment if she shows guilt and remorse and a willingness to try to get better? Absolutely. But DESERVES to be a bitch? No man in his right mind should put up with a woman who believes such nonsense. They also should never put up with gold diggers or full-on bitches.
"Women are emotional creatures. We are led by our emotions for the most part. We aren't always logical, so keep that in consideration. Don't play with our feelings, that's how you turn women "crazy." Also, this leads me to discuss about PMS, we don't want our man asking us when we are overly emotional if we are "PMSing," especially, if we aren't. So be careful with that. Bottom line: Respect women and their emotions."
Men don't turn women "crazy". Women do that themselves. You are, once again, trying to make men responsible for what women do. While I can agree that people shouldn't 'play with your emotions', I still say that YOU should be responsible for your own emotions. If, for example, you find that there are small and insignificant things that he does that annoys you, or makes you sad, or makes you angry... That's YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM, not his. He shouldn't have to change who he is to satisfy you. You take him or leave him. And if you leave him, good riddance. You're petty and probably don't deserve him.
Also... Logic and reason trumps emotions. Being emotional and childish is not a virtue. It is not a sign of strength. Being able to keep your emotions in check and going with the objective truth IS a virtue. I find the virtue of logic and reason attractive. Emotionally unstable and bitchy turns me off immediately.
Surprisingly though, I agree with everything else on the list.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Well, I do appreciate that men want to understand women and some make a conscious effort to learn. But really women are sometimes unpredictable, especially with hormones, emotions and periods. Unless you have a vagina you can't completely understand, that's why I said there's no point to trying.
@lttlegel@lovelyish - Well I don't think you can rationalize irrationality, but I also think people give women too much credit on the matter of feminine mystique, etc. Guys have to stop saying that women are "mysterious" - they're no more mysterious than men are. We're just too conditioned in political correctness to point out that sometimes what passes as "mystery" is, indeed, "mind-boggling stupidity".
That's not true at all. I've learned that men are simple creatures and say what they mean and mean what they say.
@lttlegel@lovelyish - Many women operate under the delusion that being plain-speaking = being simple. After all, that explains why so many wonder why they get constantly "betrayed" by men. Maybe men are not as "simple" as some women condescendingly suggest they are?
I've been told a million times by men I meet that women are simple and easy to understand, so yeah. in my experience, they are.
Well duh, a real woman is often a mystery to scientist and nerds around the world. Hahaha, Stephen Hawking should join the gang on The Big Bang Theory.
@lttlegel@lovelyish - Well, from my experience, women are just as complicated - or as "simple" - as men. I think there are a lot of people who operate under this "feminist mystique" fallacy and we should really take a step back and realize that such delusions are what are really preventing us from taking the time to understand each other.
1. Seriously? My boyfriend lives almost 5 hours away and I don't demand that he call/text me every day. That's a bit crazy, and it's even crazier if your boyfriend lives nearby and you see him regularly. There's a line between affectionate and clingy, and demanding a phone call every day is crossing it.
2. Yeah, I think guys should buy their girlfriend occasional presents or take her out to dinner, but girls should do the same for their guys every once in a while. I once took my boyfriend out for a big day in NYC, and I covered train fare, museum admission, the dinner tab, and theater tickets. He gladly let me do so. That made me happy, because it showed me that my boyfriend doesn't measure his masculinity by his bank account, and that he's not ashamed to flip traditional gender roles and let his girl pay every once in a while.
3./4. YES. Totally agreed. I am not a mind reader. If you're upset about something, open your mouth and say it. I can't fix problems if I don't know they exist.'
5. This is good advice. My current boyfriend didn't need it, because when we started dating I pretty much told him that if he wasn't in this for a committed, loving relationship, there was no need to go any further. This advice goes for both parties - be honest about what you want up front so you don't waste each other's time.
6. EVERYONE deserves to have their bitchy moments. I would say my boyfriend probably has them as much or more than I do - usually I let them slide and everything is back to normal within a few minutes. If he's being bitchy over something trivial or for an extended period of time, I discuss it with him and ask him to stop.
7. It is possible to be overly emotional, but this is still mostly true. As long as she doesn't freak out over every little thing, a guy should be supportive when his girlfriend does become emotional.
At first I was like, "finally, another sexist post on lovelyish!!" Imagine my delight when I discovered this is cissexist as well. If only the Kardashians were referenced in this!!
@AmorVomnia7@xanga - "Men don't turn women "crazy". Women do that
themselves. You are, once again, trying to make men responsible for what
women do. While I can agree that people shouldn't 'play with your
emotions', I still say that YOU should be responsible for your own
emotions."
Usually this is true, but there are times when one person can provoke another person into displaying "crazy" behavior. It's called "gaslighting," and it's when a person deliberately does or says something to another person that they know perfectly well will upset them, then, when that person reacts by getting upset or emotional, the first party accuses them of being "crazy." It's more common for a man to act this way towards a woman, but it can certainly go both ways. I've experienced it first hand. I used to be crying or upset 1-2 times a week because of the way my ex acted towards me, things he said and did. He continued to say hurtful and uncalled for things when he KNEW they would upset me, then sit there and either smile, laugh, or roll his eyes while I cried or had some other emotional reaction. He always told me I was being "crazy," "overemotional," "overreacting," etc. He got to the point where he was trying to convince me I had problems and should see a shrink. Well, I've been with my current boyfriend almost 3 1/2 years, and I think I've cried because of something he said or did....twice? Maybe? In all that time. I wasn't "crazy" when I was with my ex, I was upset all the time because he was a massive douche. My being emotional, upset, or angry was a direct result of his emotionally abusive and manipulative behavior. I sincerely hope this isn't common, but it definitely happens. Everyone has their moments where they might say or do something hurtful, but a mature person, man or woman, takes responsibility for hurting the other person and apologizes, instead of trying to deflect all blame onto the other person by insisting that they're crazy.
@EJC102486@xanga - Excellent point about gaslighting. I actually just saw the movie "Gaslight" recently and it was excellent.
However... I disagree on men being more likely to gaslight. It's probably equal between the sexes.
Gaslighting is a common thing that people with personality disorders do. From histrionic to narcissistic to borderline to high conflict. Women are just as likely to have those disorders.
But for the most part, my point still stands. As I really wasn't referring to personality-disordered behavior and abuse.
@AmorVomnia7@xanga - Yeah, I'm no psychologist but I've read a bit on personality disorders and I strongly suspect my ex has one. I'm leaning towards Narcissistic. Yet I was the one who needed a shrink. :P And like I said, for the most part it's true, some women tend to flip out over completely stupid stuff. As a former victim of gaslighting and emotional abuse, I just want to go slap my younger sister upside the head when I see her do stuff like throw a fit at her boyfriend because he didn't respond to her text, or showed up 10 minutes late. I figured that kind of stuff was more what you were referring to, as you mentioned "small and insignificant things." However, there are those people out there that really think insulting and demeaning another person is no big deal. You clearly know the difference between something small and insignificant and emotional abuse and manipulation, and are not one of those people. I just had to mention it, having experienced it personally.
I think men are a mystery to some women.
Stephen Hawking is educated in the rational, not the irrational, which explains why he doesn't understand women!
*ducks* sorry, gotta practice my response for when my wife brings it up.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Some guys are simple and straight forward, and they're called assholes, yet, these are the guys I respect the most. They are being honest, and even if the truth hurts at least it's true. There are guys who simply won't say anything, but instead play mind games, and that is just bullshit.
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - Well, to be honest some guys are also irrational since they don't think before they do something. Then they regret it, so to be fair both genders are irrational, but because women are emotional, it's considered even more irrational. But yes, emotions aren't logical since you have to dig deep within the person's subconscious and past and other influences (psychology), probably something Hawkins doesn't dig.
Why don't we just label this list, "Guide to Maintaining Relationships with People?"