Friday, 06 January 2012

  • Make Me Up Like a Barbie


    This post was submitted anonymously.

    My boyfriend and I got into a fight earlier today. We've been doing that a lot lately over trivial things. I usually start it, but whatever. I apologized, he said it was okay, and then said, "There is something I'd like you to know..." Of course, I say "What?"

    His reply? "You're pretty, but every guy would like his girlfriend to wear make-up and look pretty for him." (Mind you, we met at soccer, I played with him and never wore/wear makeup. I'm kind of a tomboy of sorts.)

    Have I lost my mind? We've been together for 8 months and he tells me this. I responded, "What's wrong with the way I look now? I never wear make up, it hides your face." He replies, "Nevermind, forget it."

    Am I overreacting? Probably, but it feels like he's got something to prove to someone. Is he asking too much of me?

    Help is appreciated.

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Comments (133)

  • TheNotoriousGOD@xanga

    make-up is fucking amazing.  i don't know any girl who's attractive without it, and i know MANY girls who are unattractive without but gooorgeous with. 


    it'd probably do you some good to start wearing heels too, cause right now i gather you don't do that. 


    on a separate note, if you guys are fighting over trivial things, it's probably time for you to break up.  couples don't fight when they're into each other. 

  • laytexduckie@xanga
    Ask him to trim his facial hair if he has any, or to tidy up?

    Well, maybe if you guys schedule a date night, it can be a time to make yourself up! 


    But, for me, I don't really care whether or not a girl wears make up. I just don't like it when girls have to wear make up EVERY SINGLE TIME. A girl can look sexy in make up, but she can look even sexier when she is comfortable not wearing any. 
  • xjadersx@xanga

    I never wear make up, and I've never had a guy ask me to wear make up. If they did I would say fuck you. 
  • vain_apathy@xanga

    he probably thinks you'd look better with makeup, maybe your appearance has been causing some underlying tension.

    i'll tell you a little anecdote about me and my boyfriend. i try my best to look attractive for him. (not just for him, obviously for myself and the people around me also. but he gets a special consideration since we are dating. that's the whole reason why you date someone rather then just being friends, its all about attraction) i've always tried to take his opinion into consideration because its only polite. well a few years back, he decided that he wanted to buzz his head which is literally my least favorite hairstyle on a guy and it was not at all flattering to him. i told him this, but he continued to buzz his hair anyways. well, it affected our relationship. previously, if he did something that was kind of annoying i would often brush it off because i would look at him and think "awww so cute! how can i be mad at that?" but with his hair buzzed, my annoyance would only increase when looking at him. it definitely made me more irritable and caused more fights. (he has long since abandoned the desire to buzz his head, thankfully)

    so maybe, just maybe, this is a factor in your frequent fights. my advice? try a little makeup. relationships are all about compromise. if you can't learn to compromise, you might as well resign to be single for the rest of your life. if you absolutely hate the thought of makeup, then maybe this is a deal breaker. but honestly, makeup isn't so bad. you'd be surprised how much good it can do. when you look better you will feel more confident, strangers will treat you better, you'll be more eligible for jobs. all in all, there's really no harm in looking your best. its not like he's asking you to get plastic surgery or anything.

  • Olgarie

    Makeup, when done correctly hides nothing. It enhances what you already have. I wear makeup a lot, but it's what I feel most comfortable in.

  • LightBlue21@xanga

    I don't get why girls get so upset when a guy asks them to do something that makes them more attractive to him. When I ask my boyfriend to stop burping loudly in front of me, he does it. When I ask him to use lip balm to rehydrate his lips, he does it. When his hair gets too long and I drops hints, asking how long it's been since he got a haircut, he doesn't feel like all of a sudden he's not good enough for me. When my hands are dry, he prefers that I use lotion to make them smoother. People prefer certain things in their partners.

    Makeup is more like an accessory for a girl nowadays, anyways. If a girl is dressed to the nines and she doesn't have makeup on, it's kind of like she forgot to do her hair and left it in a messy bun on the top of her head.
  • HaleyHailstorm@lovelyish

    Don't do it if you don't want to, but I don't think it's a big deal that he asked you to wear it.  He said it in a kind way.  He just wants you to make an effort to look good for him.
  • lilblucherrygrl@xanga

    It all depends if you want to wear make up. Some couples are ok with telling each other what to do. I personally don't understand that because I'd feel more like he is my keeper and less my boyfriend. It's not impossible to find someone that will accept you as you are for the most part. Plus it's really odd that he would bring it up after 8 friggin months. If it is that much of a problem that you don't wear make up it's his own fault for not opening his mouth sooner.
  • For_Vanitys_Sake@xanga

    i wouldn't take it the wrong way unless he starts going overboard with trivial demands after this one. just wear it once in awhile when you guys go on dates or something. :) 
  • mtk101@xanga

    If he is you SO then he is asking for something he has to buisness of asking. If you don't want to wear make up then GOOD! It's your decision not his, but if you want to give him the power to decide things for you then go ahead and where makeup for him. If he loves you then it shouldn't matter -_-
  • sas07@xanga

    dump. his. ass.
  • Movere@xanga

    To the very very first comment: COUPLES TOTALLY fight over little things or big things or w/e regardless of if you're madly in love or not. So don't listen to that person. 


    Secondly, I would totally be hurt by his comment, which I'm gathering from your story that you are too. And that's totally normal. To be honest I'm still with my bf and we had this whole issue on my body because I was way too thin when I met him, he said things without realizing what an insulting jerk he was being, and I don't think I let him hear the end of it. Even after gaining a stupidly large amount of weight to make myself feel "normal", I still get on him about it because it was just effed up for him to say the things he did. I "let it go" and stayed with him because I love him, he's truly sorry for what he said, and he absolutely loves me the way I am now. Anyway I am, because I helped change him for the better. Sounds like a buncha dating/Dr.Phil crap, but it's actually true.
    So I wouldn't say dump him just yet, because guys can say things that are insensitive like that. But keep a look out. What I think you should do is just try putting on a bit of makeup now and then when you're going out because I think his idiotic remark really meant to say, " I wanna see how you look in makeup and I bet you look really good with it on and I'll feel like you're doing something special for me when we're goin out". If he still is picky about you even when you do try some makeup on, then leave that fool. I'm sure you gorgeous without any makeup at all. 
  • babybug329@xanga
    Considering the increased frequency of arguments over trivial things, I suspect that your boyfriend is not having a problem with your lack of makeup.  I think he has more pressing matters on his mind, but since you never wear makeup, it's an easy spot to start to express his displeasure.  If I were you, I'd try to ask him if something was bothering him, but in a calm manner.  Since he still finds you pretty even without makeup, that's not really the problem.  If he still says he'd really like you to try makeup after asking him if anything was bothering him, maybe you could.  Tinted moisturizer, lip gloss and mascara are all very easy to master and quick to apply.  If you learn to do makeup correctly, it'll only enhance your natural beauty, not cover it.  If something else comes up after you've tried makeup, might be time to re-assess your relationship.  However, I don't find anything wrong with not wearing makeup, nor do I find him asking you to look a little more polished to be unreasonable.  You most definitely do not have to paint your face like Mimi from Drew Carey show or like the woman pictured above.  I was like you, never wore makeup.  My husband asked that I try it in our early days of dating.  I tried, but I wasn't comfortable, so I rarely ever wore it.  But he never brought it up again.  Nowadays, I do appreciate an expertly applied "natural" look so I put it on when we go out on a date, or go to a function, or when I am expecting the big cheese at work.  Joke's on the hubby, because he swears I take like 3 hours to get ready when we are going somewhere.  Best wishes.
  • babybug329@xanga

    @Movere@xanga - I agree about the first person to comment.  Either that person has a skewed view of the world, or trying to stir the pot.  You offered some sound advice, in my opinion.
  • beesuze@xanga

    LOL!  My boyfriend wants me to paint my toenails red...so I do!  He loves it and thinks it's so sexy...and it takes so little time to have pretty toes.  He comments on it EVERY time.

    Throw on a little eyeliner, shadow and mascara...a little blush and lip gloss...He'll be happy and it will take you all of 5 minutes.  Don't take it as an insult, because it isn't.   He's not being insensitive either...he's only making a suggestion.  Too many women get bent out of shape because someone asks them to try a little makeup or don a dress....They take it as a blow to their ego because they think that everyone should like them just the way they are.  What bullshit!  You don't go roll around in the garden and wear dirty overalls to a fancy party, do you?  Of course not!  You get dolled up and wear something sexy.  Why get upset when your boyfriend wants you to primp for him? 

  • lttlegel@lovelyish

    This is total bullshit and all of you who said about doing things to "please him" are being fed a bunch of bullshit.

    I have never worn makeup in my life. I have never had ANYONE tell me I should and if they did, I'd say "fuck you."

    Sure, makeup enhances your face, but if you don't want to wear it, you shouldn't.

    My fiance constantly tells me I am beautiful. Find a man who loves you for you and who you are naturally. Any man who is not happy with who you are as a whole package does not deserve you.

  • ShirleyD@xanga

    It would hurt my feelings if my boyfriend told me that. It's not like asking  you to wear a dress every once in a while but a straight insult to your face! BUT I don't see whats the issue...tell him if he buys it, you will wear it for him when he takes you out. Done and done.  Also, he dated you and liked you make up free, so I wouldnt get too insulted or give credit to him saying your fugly without it. S
  • coffeeishappinessinacup@xanga

    He probably just felt that your lack of dressing up meant you didn't care about him because you didn't put forth any effort into your appearance, it doesn't have to mean make-up it could mean that you don't dress all girly and cute enough for his liking? I don't know lol 
  • Lyrical_L@xanga

    I hate wearing make-up and I am a tomboy.


    While a lot of people would tell you to dump his ass and be extremely offended by his comment you need to make sure to analyze not just the situation but the motives behind it.
    Now, of course anyone would be offended. Make-up seems to imply that it's only necessary to cover up "UGLY". Learn that make-up can cover ugly, but also create more beauty as comments mentioned above. So, even though you're a tomboy, don't be put off by make-up simply because of the "GIRLY" Label. Yes as Tomboys we hate the idea of being GIRLY or even FAKE. But when used right, we could kick ass in looks.
    Secondly, find out your boyfriends motivation. Don't let him give up on the talk just because he wants to avoid conflict. Now if he wants you to wear make-up because he doesn't think you're beautiful, then yea, dump his ass. If he wants to prove something to others then you have two choices, join his team and show everyone how good you can look, or take on the belief that you don't need to prove anything (because in reality you don't) either way you need to believe how much you prize the relationship.
    Lastly, I'll share you my experience.
    As a tomboy, I never wore make-up for any of my past boyfriends even when they asked or hinted.It's not until my most recent relationship that not only was I asked to wear make-up but I did.Now this guy asked only for the least and subtle amount of make-up because he believes I am a natural beauty.
    I did it for this guy and am marrying this guy because I think he saw my act of putting on make-up to be an act exclusively for him. It's something I WANTED TO DO!
    So, above all. Do it only if you think he's worth it and you want to do it. 
    Honestly this was the first time I put on make-up and it's one of those weird firsts I'm glad I got to experience with him.
  • whisperitloudly@xanga

    i can't believe some of the comments i'm reading.  any man who is worth being with will love you no matter what.  my ex used to tell me that he preferred me without makeup. he'd say "you have such natural beauty and makeup hides it."  dump the man and find one who likes YOU for YOU, not for how he thinks you look on his arm.
  • superGchik@xanga

    makeup is not as bad as you think it is.  it's not to cover anything up either.  may be your bf just want you to dress up or take care of yourself a little bit.  i wouldn't take it so hard.  
  • fightingXstronger@xanga

    Put on the make-up, only if he agrees to put some on too.
  • NeedsMore_ButterYall@xanga

    I'm a girly girl, but if my husband told me NOT to wear make up, I would be kind of put off by it. That's just who I am, I LOVE make up & I like how it makes me look. But then again, I've made suggestions to my husband for him to grow out his hair, or cut it & it's not because I don't love the way he looks, because I do, I find him to be verrry handsome! But sometimes change is nice! Maybe you could do it every once in a while, for a special occasion or something! But don't change who you are for some guy, no matter how long you guys have been together. 
  • a_single_raindrop@xanga

    Maybe he wants you to dress up occasionally every once in awhile? But he should love you for you and if you aren't the type of girl to be fussy about make-up, he should respect that. 
  • chanz_xo@xanga

    just go with it, you might start loving the way makeup makes you look,  just saying..

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