Weight is an issue for everyone. If it isn't for you, consider yourself lucky. We all deal with it on a daily basis, whether we feel too skinny, too fat, need to work out more/less - it's always something. While it's a daily issue for ourselves, is it an issue for you with your significant other?
My boyfriend lost a significant amount of weight right before we started dating. So much so that I wouldn't recognize him if we hadn't kept in contact. I knew him years ago and never paid any mind to him before. I always wonder if it had something to do with his weight or just that I was shy back then. His weight loss is a huge success for him and a giant change. It has taken a lot of adjustment for him to get used to. People stop him on the street to tell him how great he looks and it's good to know that he has that much motivation for himself.
When someone - anyone- loses or gains that much weight, there's always a chance that behavior will return. I love my boyfriend very much and I would like to think that it doesn't matter how much weight he gains or loses, I would love him anyway. The only time it would matter to me would be when and if it affects his health, and his previous weight clearly did.
So I have to raise the question ..
if your significant other had a significant amount of weight gain/loss, would it affect your relationship? What about a disease ..anorexia, bulimia, etc.? Have you ever dealt with this? how was the problem resolved?
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Comments (55)
I love my boyfriend for who he is as a person, not his weight.
It would be an issue, both my boyfriend and I consider physical attraction important in our relationship... and we're both pretty particular about how we look for ourselves. I like being fit and so does he. Even taking a month off of working out for break has made me feel self-conscious because I ENJOY being athletic and keeping moving. It's a lifestyle, not necessarily about weight. If he suddenly became overweight it would mean that he stopped exercising or started eating like shit, and for me that would mean more about how mood or his lifestyle than about his appearance... and that would be the big problem.
Since I'm not a visually stimulated person his weight or lack thereof would never be an issue for me. I've been attracted to big men and to skinny ones although I probably go for the big guys more often than the little ones it's not a deal breaker for me either way. I'm a sucker for the words, tone of voice, eyes, and heart of a man none of which are affected much by changes in his weight. If he had a sickness that was curable I'd encourage him to get well but I wouldn't hold it against him as a person. We're all fighting our own demons in this life and none of us win all the battles all the time.
I do have a preference for slender bodies but that wouldn't mind if the person is important for me. I guess it's an issue if is someone just "for look at" lol
Weight is definitely a factor in that it might have negative effects on the body.
I could never love a fatty.
I don't think weight is important to me. I never really had a specific body type in mind for a guy, just personality.
I would stick with my boyfriend no matter what, but if he developed an eating disorder or gained so much weight that it affected his health then I would definitely need to step in and say something.
@lorelei@xanga - Physical attraction, nailed it. With that being said, haven't seen you updating on Dailymile! Any new year's fitness challenge?
Everyone has a preference when it comes to physical attraction. Some people like those who are extremely, some like those who are pretty overweight, and then there are those inbetween. For most of us, it does play a factor (some significant while others not so much). It is also important to bring it up (if it concerns you) if you see your partner gained or lost a good amount of weight.
I love some podge to grab, or not, I don't care.
Anyone, rrraaawwwr baby.chubby guys are the cutest. (: <3
if you love someone, it shouldn't matter what they look like..as long as they're taking care of your heart.
Weight isn't really a factor, however, If they are fat because they are lazy, then I don't really care for that. As for having an eating disorder. I would never leave them then. It is times like that they need their significant other. I would be there to help her in any way possible. Leaving her after finding this out should be the last thought to come to mind -_-
To me, there's a difference between a casual relationship, when you've just started to date someone and are getting to know them, and later on. At first, initial attraction, both to them physically and personality-wise, is a huge deal. Later, though, when you truly love someone, in the way that leads you to commit to them for life, the externals like weight become a lot less important--at least they should.
It's effected a past relationship. He was into very thin/petite/athletic girls, and I'm not some tiny bag of bones. he always pressured me to lose more and more weight and would put me down for not looking like a marathon runner telling me how ugly I was and etc. Happily I got out of there and even though it left me a little shaken up it's something in the past.
My feelings toward my s.o would never change if they gained or lossed weight or hair or whatever it may be, I fall in love with someone's heart, not their looks.
My boyfriend lost 50lbs after he switched to my food and my more active attitude. It really did not have an impact on our relationship. He is more attractive to me now physically but it happened so gradually I was not even certain it had happened, :P. Otherwise weight is a non-issue. We are both somewhat chubby and tall so it works out.
the guys that I liked were either skeletors or toned. I haven't crushed on/liked any people, who who were plump. just personal preference. losing/gaining a few pounds here and there is okay but a drastic amount is a problem that needs to be dealt with and address any underlying issues.
I have dealt with extreme weight changes while being in a relationship. I had struggled with an eating disorder where I went down to 80 lbs (being 5'1", a normal weight would be about 110 lbs). After being put on meds and being hospitalized for my eating disorder, I gained nearly 50 lbs (I weighed about 130 lbs) and felt so ashamed of myself. But my boyfriend told me that he sees me as the same person and loves me the same. He supports and motivates me in trying to reach my normal weight again.
I am a chubby chaser.
i want some meat on my man's booty so there's something to hold on to when we do what bunnies do. okay im done being a creep. ughh yeah the weight thing; he's gotta wanna do it for himself whether it be for health reasons or just to feel good about himself. he should have to do it for others. even if it sadly means he's trying t conform to societal expectations than yeah..if that's what makes him happy as long as he's healthy and his pee ain't some weird colour from the protein shakes :)
I don't think I will mind if my significant other gains weight, but I don't think I can be attracted to someone overweight.
my boyfriend is blessed with a kick-ass metabolism so he never gains or loses weight no matter what he eats. if he let himself go and stopped caring it could effect our relationship
i have and ed and he doesn't really know about it, especially the purging, but yeah he always comments on how skinny and good i have gotten but i don't know that just makes me feel worse. my insecurities definitely affect our sex life. he doesn't understand
My boyfriend is probably 15 lbs overweight. He is very physically appealing to me, but it's his health that worries me constantly. I work in the health field, so I am constantly reminded of what being overweight and not taking care of yourself can and will do.
I, on the other hand, used to have an eating disorder. It robbed me of my social life and intimacy. If you don't have a healthy relationship with food, it will reflect itself in your relationship with your partner. I am 95% recovered. That 5% comes up a few times a month... when that little voice telling me mean things starts talking again, but I quickly push it out of my mind, so it does not have enough time to screw with me or my relationships.
Yah, I would stop being attracted to a guy if he got really noticeably overweight. Like, more than your typical 10-15 pounds. Am I so shallow? Not more than the average person. I just have some preferences.
I have gained a significant amount of weight since the start of my nearly 5 year relationship with my fiance, mostly due to changing birth control until I found one that worked for me. My fiance has been incredibly supportive and honestly if weight is all it would take for someone to stop being in love, I wouldn't want to be with that person anyway.