I just read a post on Datingish where a woman encountered a date that told them that he can't seriously date her because he thought that her eyes looked like she was begging for sex. I'm sure that when some girls looked at this, they felt the same way that the girl dating did: befuddled, confused, etc. When I read this, I thought about each time that I thought a girl looked like sex.
I hate to be the one to give away the secrets on the guy's part here,
but the truth is that men are visual creatures. At least, most men are. Let me explain. (I feel like I'm violating plenty of Bro codes by admitting some of this.)
Usually, if I ever thought someone looked like they were screaming sex from their eyes to their clothes to the way a woman is shaped, it's either because I can't handle how sexy they just are or because the way they looked made ME both horny and nervous. Most of the time, it's the latter.
Usually when a man thinks you look or seem like a highly sexual person, the girl would share one of these characteristics:
* Deep, sharp, playful and/or smoky eyes
* Shirt tight enough to see the shape of your breasts
* Any sized cleavage
* Jeans or a dress that gives just enough idea of how your curves are shaped
* Big or glossy lips (yes, a woman's lips can turn a man on)
* Skin that is smooth, buttery, shiny or covered in oil
* A tramp stamp from years ago, etc.
When I read this, I understood the woman's confusion. How can a woman look like she wants to have sex by the look in her eyes? After all, you thought you were just trying to look either cute or beautiful. Right? Well, ladies, it goes like this:
some women are probably just born with the inevitable curse of being sexy. Whether it's your eyes, your lips, your voice, your breasts, your curves, et cetera, there is something about each and every one of you ladies out there that can turn any man on anywhere.
Even something merely playful as sex jokes or physical as having a big ass can turn a woman from a regular human being to a fantasy in some men's eyes. You don't even have to do much other than what you are doing right now to turn a man on.
The guy that the author was dating is probably just blunt and nervous enough to admit it. (I'm actually pretty surprised she didn't take the time to question his comment or call him on it.)
Now, perhaps, I'm a smooth cat, but whenever I work up the nerve to tell someone that they look like sex, it's usually a compliment or just a straight up clown on the fact that they really do look like they are looking for sex. But most of the time I do it, it's a compliment. After all,
that kind of attraction would or should empower a girl. If you look attractive in some way, that means there is hope in attracting you a man, right?
The problem is the author's date prospect delivered it less like a compliment and more like a subtle and nice way of calling her a slut. Not to mention, this point of view is probably what drives some horny man to want to sexually assault somebody.
This kind of thing may also be why some grown men get pretty damn nervous looking you in the eye, as opposed to everywhere else. Whatever the explanation may be (the most popular explanation to throw in the ring is pornography), the best you can really do is just walk away and wait for a more focused man.
Thoughts?
True
Comments (47)
I am self conscious because I'm afraid I'll get accused of undressing women with my eyes. I just can't help it.
hmmm I've been accused of being overly sexual O.O lol yeah me, the church lady, I'm just comfortable discussing the topic, most of the time from a theoretical perspective, still I've got some nasty messages for this :\
I have the sex eyes... and booty. Can't help it. Problem is nobody is ready for this jelly.
I just want to be looked at like person I am.
If a guy isn't going to date me because I "scream sex", he can go f*ck himself. :) There ARE literally plenty of fish in the sea.
I'm not sure how I feel about this post. Yes we guys are visual, but no that doesn't have to mean that our visual sense has to dominate how we perceive the oppposite sex. A girl can flaunt her sexuality without actually being sexy. And a girl can be completely covered up by sweatpants and hoodie and still be 'sexy'. Hopefully that makes sense. I don't believe a girl is born being sexy. Sexy is a feeling to me. Maybe what you're trying to get at is that you can tell when a girl is feeling sexy? It's up to her to define herself as 'sexy' or not, not us guys. All we can do is read her and get a 'sexy' vibe. No?
Oh....btw a tramp stamp is most certainly NOT sexy.
Being called sexy is a good thing, but only if it is paired with other compliments, e.g. "cute and sexy", "beautiful and sexy", "funny and sexy", etc.
If a guy just says " you're sexy", or worse, "you look like sex" and nothing else.... then that just screams a tactless horndog
dennis o'neil, t.o.p., colin egglesfield, tyson beckford, and pharrells' eyes all scream sex
I saw this jason momoa lookalike in vegas and his eyes screamed to be my babydaddy
@xXxlovelylollipop@xanga - People are so damn judgmental. Aren't they?
@Thatslifekid@xanga -@MutineerCashier@xanga - There lies the problem, though. Who are you to a guy who is just getting to know you or just figuring you out?
@Shadowrunner81@xanga - I'm not saying it is. But if I did, it's because the root of the word sexy is "sex". So, sexy to me is when there is something about you that attracts a man, as well as rev his hormones. Sometimes, a woman shamelessly letting a man know she wants it anytime she is ready can be sexy to some men, and kind of intimidating to others. (shrugs)
ooo i've meet some guys whose eyes def scream sex and i think it's so amazing to meet guys like that bc sometimes you just want a little crazy in your life.
Good post! :)
well worded, thought out, and valid point. i like this. seems true enough for me.
i think you looked too much into this.
ultimately, no one knows what it means, but it's provocative. gets the people going.
yeah. people just call me adorable. >_> I think everything on my face is so round...nose, eyes, cheeks, I can never scream sex with it.
I really enjoyed this post. Especially, "there is something about each and every one of you ladies out there that can turn any man on anywhere." Made me feel like I can be sexy and not even know it. That's a good feeling. =]
funny post, in my perspective!
I've been told before that I have "seductive" eyes. ;)
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"but whenever I work up the nerve to tell someone that they look like sex..." hahaha that made me laugh :P
but in all honesty, good post! its not necessarily about the woman trying to be that way, its how she's perceived!!
I've been told I give the 'vibe'. Mostly it's my (.)(.)'ies... they can't keep their eyes off of them. So nobody has ever said anything about my 'eyes/ face screaming sex' since I don't normally see many guys looking up there long enough.
this post makes no sense mostly because your blameing the girl for a guy being a horndog, when really its the guys fault for not being able to control his thoughts
haha thanks for telling them our secrets dude (as if woman didn't realise it yet
)
Allthough i guess most men aren't that into tramp stamps. And if it's because of pornography, i don't know. Maybe a small percentage of influence.
@LightBlue21@xanga - That's probably a good thing. I've never really met a girl who's wanted to scream sex at every moment. Maybe one. Lol.
This is really strange. The male gaze is not inherently "empowering." (Winning the Nobel Prize is empowering. Thanks.) Sexual assault is motivated by a desire for power, not normal sexual arousal. And I can't imagine a woman responding positively to being told that she "looks like [she's looking for] sex" - that's just rude.
Hey great site, it's great to see other people talking about all things sexy! Go for it!