I've been keeping this thought to myself for a while, but after reading
Girls Who Always Fall for the Awful Guy, I figure I should write it out now.
I've heard and seen a lot of people go through rough patches in their relationships (or even just dating); hell, I've even been through my own. However, after the usual complaining about said guy who doesn't care, or said girl who's being a bitch, I then hear, "Guys are such pigs" or "Girls are so slutty" or anything within those means. It rubs me the wrong way.
One experience with one person doesn't mean the entire gender/race is the same. It's like saying "Black people are sketchy" or "Tall guys are ugly" or "The Westboro Baptist Church hate gays. The WBC are also Christian; therefore, all Christians hate gays." So, you had a bad date with a guy/girl because he/she was too pushy, arrogant, rude, whatever. Simply saying that all of one gender is incapable is not placing judgment on the group; it's placing judgment on yourself.
It shows your immaturity. Instead of blaming the gender, blame the individual. Look at what they did wrong, what needs or attributes they couldn't fulfill for you and then search for another on the opposite end of that spectrum.
Don't let one apple ruin the rest of the batch for you. That person does not represent the rest of the gender. We are each our own individual person capable of making our own decisions and react differently to different things. Don't rule the rest of them out because one person. Otherwise, go gay (or straight if you are already gay). You'll realize that everyone has their own set of strengths and weakness; you just have to choose which ones you can tolerate.
To group all into one isn't just immature, but it can also make you overlook someone who actually can sweep you off your feet.
Have you ever been guilty of this?
True
Comments (20)
Wish you could give more than 2 eProps. I think for most people it's an in-the-moment kind of comment, but others just seem to hold on to those completely illogical thoughts. Another thing, if you really feel like guys/girls are pig/sluts, then why the hell are you still trying? Clearly you don't actually believe that.
I'm sure we've all been guilty of grouping people in one way or another and most of us would probably agree that it's not right to do it.
I am but it's based on 10 bad relationships with 10 different guys, friends dating multiple OTHER men and yeah. My husband knows he's like the only exception to the rule of whom I've meet. I say the same about girls. We're bitches and psycho and drama. Even those of us who try to stay away from drama, it follows us. Both genders have their flaws and neither one is better than the other. Most of the guys I know are lazy, abusive or sexhounds and most of the girls I know are sluts, tramps and drama. Maybe it's just the people I run into in this state but that's what I've seen. The few I found who don't fit that are the ones I call friends.
:)
I do this sarcastically all the time. Apparently, I'm bad at it cuz I said something like "some girls are horrid" and a guy friend was like, "Wait you admit girls can be bad too". I was like, "Uh, yeah, but I don't date girls so I'm not going to complain about them, am I?"
Statements like those have come outta my mouth... not gonna lie. :) But all in all, I never take it seriously. I still love men despite my, "ugh I hate men" moments that happen. lol. Hell, I am with one of the best men ever currently. :) Plan on keeping him. But yeah I get ya. I get irritated too when people ACTUALLY mean those mean statements they make. Just cuz this girl was a psycho bitch, doesn't mean I am too ya know? So agreed.
You are so right
don't forget about stereotyping
I've said it, but its usually half-hearted. I know people who say it and mean it. Ick :/
Yeah, I've fussed about it before, but only in a jesting manner. Anyone that thinks a whole gender is a certain way because of one experience has a lot to learn...
oh and I LOVE your DP by the way. Ash Ketchum! <3
How can I not be mad at the male gender right now when my last 3 relationships went horribly awry and I would have done anything to fix them. Sorry, but that does infact make my ass just a little bitter.
@SHEERROSE@xanga - Again, blame those individuals and not the entire gender. What they did to destroy the relationship you had with them was their choice and decisions, not the entire male population. If you have to hold anger and bitterness towards something, hold it against those three.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - I do try to be the very best, that no one ever was. :)
@kawasaki_saiyan@xanga - Mmmmm, yes. Nothing like proving people wrong when they discover that I speak proper English and that I'm actually horrible at math.
@laytexduckie@xanga - ....:'D <3
i know some people (myself included) who say it, but don't really mean it the way it sounds. i usually say it only with really close friends who would understand that i wasn't trying to generalize a particular gender.
I'm giving you props for ur rocking profile pic.
I used to be completely obsessed with Ash when I was a little kid and your profile pic brings up a whole lot of nostalgic feelings lolFashion Accessories
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bags & handbags & luggage
I'm not usually serious when I say it, but I've said things along those lines.
I completely agree and I love that you posted this! I get so sick of women bad-mouthing all guys when one treats them badly. It honestly makes me uncomfortable. I mean, if you hate all men because you think they are all pigs, do you already hate my boyfriend and assume he's a pig and that I'm an ignorant dumbass who hasn't figured it out yet? I don't know, it just makes me feel really uncomfortable and irritated. I'm so glad I'm not the only one.
Part of the reason why guys meet unfavorable girls and why girls meet unfavorable guys is where they meet them. If you are meeting guys at the bar, club, etc, they may not be the best of character. (clarification- NOT saying good guys/girls are not in those places or everyone who goes there is not of quality.)
I am wanting to say that if people would raise their standards in the people of who they would even consider dating, less time would be wasted in "gender bashing."
I'm tired of women bad mouthing dudes all the time too! At first I thought it was because all women have smaller brains then men. But now I realize that it was just those individual women that had smaller brains than men!