Thursday, 29 December 2011
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Starry Surprise
One of my closest guy friends got me a jar of stars for Christmas a few days ago. Attached to the jar was a small card that said, "There's more to the present that meets the eye."
The jar had a sticker on it that said "Joyful seasons," so I thought he just wanted to wish me a happy winter or something (I'm pretty stupid, I know). I was pretty bored today so I decided to open the jar and unload the stars, just for the heck of it. I was poking one of the smaller stars when I noticed that there was a chain attached to this large pink star.
"What is this...?"
I lifted the chain up and realized that it was a necklace. Slowly and carefully, I unfolded the origami star (you make the star using a strip of paper) to take out the necklace because I was quite curious. As you all know, curiosity killed the cat.
When I was finished with opening up the star, I saw these words written on the strip of paper:
"Will you be mine?"
The necklace had a charm that consists of two hearts entangled with each other. One heart was decorated with tiny, sparkly jewels.
I do not know how to respond.
I consider the guy who sent me this a great friend but I don't think I have feelings for him despite how cute his gift was. Besides, we've been friends for six years and I really don't want to break our friendship.
How should I respond to this? What would you do if you were in my place? Should I give him a chance?
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- From: DesireClimax@xanga
- About Me: I like to sit down in the park and watch the scenery unfold before my eyes.
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Comments (56)
Give the guy a shot. Guys don't often give gifts like this - and it shows he put a lot of thought into it. I'd go for it :)
He sounds like a pretty decent guy.....but a six-year friendship isn't somethihng to risk lightly. It all depends on whether you see him as a guy you'd date a couple times or perhaps as a guy you could see yourself with for a longer period of time. My little brother ended up marrying one of his best friends. He's 24, just married his wife of the same age, and he's been friends with her since 6/7th grade. Hope this helps.
It seems like he is serious about you, and you might take him into consideration. But, it's your feelings that counts, if you don't have any feelings for the guy, don't take him for granted. And don't be influenced by others just because he seems like a real gentleman. It's your feelings that matters. Trust your gut, and let your heart tell you what to do. If you just want to continue being his good friend, I suggest you pretend you didn't know about the necklace that was hidden in the star, and if he does bring the situation up and asks you again, then you have to face him and let him know how you feel about all this. Be true to yourself and be true to others, so others will be true to you. Best regards <3
You should give him a chance. That was really spectacular presentation on his part.
If you don't think you have feelings for the guy, then you probably don't. Don't "give him a chance", because of this gift. Be honest and cut to the point.
Don't pity date him, that's for sure. unless you're attracted to him or feel the same way, don't give it a go just because it was a cute gift and you don't want to hurt his feelings. If you lead him on, that would be worse! so say that you stumbled upon the real gift and say thanks but you're not into him like that. Honesty! he threw himself out there so he should be prepared for rejection.
The gift is really cute. It was really thoughtful. I personally would give the guy a chance, but that's just me. Are you afraid that you'll never have feelings for you or that you'd end things so badly that you could never even be friends with him? Is there a chance that romance can blossom, but you don't let them because you're afraid? Nothing great is ever achieved without some amount of risk....but listen to your heart. Do what it tells you.
he just got friend zoned!
you just said you don't think you have feelings for him; so you got to let him down gently. and unfortunately the 6 year friendship might go down the drain to since he has feelings for u and you dont see it that way. dont force it either. also you may wanna wait until after the new year or something.
you don't have a choice. he took the risk. either you validate the risk by accepting, or you deny the risk and turn him down.
you can't choose "i don't want things to change" because he is the one who changed them. the closest you can do to staying the same, is to accept him but start things off really slowly- see if you have merely been repressing feelings for him, or if you really don't feel anything. by turning him down, you figuratively move the relationship to what is used to be but it wont last, cause he is kinda trying to show he cares.
either way, the just friends thing is over. there isn't a way to say "you are a really great guy but i'm not into you" which isn't disingenuous.
listen to your heart. think about your initial reaction, were you thinking "OMG that is so cute he knows what i like, and what i wish guys would do. so sweet... but what if we..." or was it "meh, poetic, but erm... not interested... funny how he gave a gift of star crossed lovers just out of the blue".
awwwwwwwww!!! give him a chance!!!! :)
that was a sweet gift. At least go on one date.
That is the single cutest thing ever. I agree with everyone else, at least give him one date. Guys don't do this for girls they aren't serious about.
(I knew you were Asian from the origami star thing. And the whole stunt just screamed Asian drama haha)
And no, don't accept the proposal if you don't have feelings for him.
If a six year friendship breaks over something like this, it wasn't that great a friendship to begin with.
Whatever you do, be open. Trust him as your friend. Be sensitive to his feelings. Remember that no matter how shocking and dramatic it was for you, he did what he did because he cared for you very strongly; and that doesn't go away overnight. You have six years of friendship...I would think that you care for him too. Does a necklace in a star really change those feelings?
Don't give him a date if you don't have feelings for him. That's getting his hopes up for nothing and it's really unfair. If you don't like him that way, don't lead him on. Just be honest.
BAM
Machiavellian tactics fix everything!
give him a chance and go on a date with him! but don't say yes to being his girlfriend, when you have no feelings for him.
Don't give him a chance just because it was a cute gift. If you don't have feelings for him, then you don't have feelings for him. Don't lead him on. It won't end well.
I remember those origami stars. I used to work at a chinese place and unfold them all the time.
But tell him you are not interested. If you're not. Don't lie. Don't lead him on.
If you don't like him that way, don't do it.
That is absolutely adorable, but I think that if you don't have feelings for him, you shouldn't lead him on. While it's true that sometimes, the feelings come after you start dating, that doesn't always happen. In the end, it's up to you. If you think feelings could develop, then go for it. If you don't, then don't. No use giving it a chance if it'll only break his heart in the end.
Be honest with yourself first. And then you need to be honest with him. But here's the outcomes I see: You give him a shot and things work out, you give him a shot and things don't work out and now things are very different between you two, or you don't give him a shot and things are going to be different between you two, because no matter how many times you tell him that you just want to be friends he will still have feelings for you and you will know that.