Thursday, 29 December 2011
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Girls Who Always Fall for the Awful Guy
Ladies: You know the type.
The guy who pretends like he wants to be in a relationship with you by constantly texting you flirty messages and then out of the blue ignores you. The guy who only contacts you late at night once in a blue moon to see what you're doing when he is bored and feels like you could entertain him. The dude who used you one night and now says you two are "just friends."
I recently read a article where the author declared that a woman is attracted to the awful guy because she likes the feeling of victory when she attacks him for being so horrible. After this occurs, she will gracefully exit the guy's life, where he is supposed to have succumbed to the girl's ways.
But, what if the girl is unable to have such control over the guy? What if the awful guy was able to freely manipulate this girl, and all she could do was run. Why would a girl keep having this pattern of falling for the worst?
Who is really at fault here?
Is the problem the girl, being too naive and ignorant to keep being played by guys who treat her like crap? Or is it guys from this generation, who only live to fool around?
I leave you with this question: Where are all the nice boys hiding at?
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- From: sleeping_on_the_edgeoftheworld@xanga
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Comments (94)
The friend zone
^
It is the girl's fault. They are masochists. They are running to these horrible guys when there are plenty of nice guys who they just don't feel the elusive "spark" with. The problem is, for them the spark is feeling passionately for someone who doesn't give a shit about them in return. Just saying.
I do not know how but it seemed that I have always been attracting only the bad boys. However, for now, I only go on a date with a boy when I am 100 % sure that he is nice and respectful.
Maybe it is the "fault" of both, the girls because they do not listen to there hearts or gut instincts but only thinking that they need a guy whoever it is and it is also the "fault" of the guy because they are that insecure and see us girls as an kind of item and not a breakable person.Women are more kind, romantic and trusting and get taken advange of by creeps
WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO "NICE BOYS"!!!! QUIT KIDDING YOURSELF!!!!
Well, I found my nice boy, but I sure did date a scumbag or two. I don't know about blaming which gender's fault it is. All I can say in my defense is that the scumbags I dated felt like they had something genuine underneath. Also, when I develop feelings for someone, its very hard to distance myself from that person, despite how disappointing that person may be. *shrugs* Now that I found an actual good guy, I try to appreciate the fuck outa him.
And I don't feel sorry at all for the "nice guys" who "never get a chance." Man up and do what it takes to get the girl you're after. If she's not into you another girl will be. I think the problem with "nice guys" is that the are too shy/not assertive enough/too worried about messing it up.
Women talk about love, honor, loyalty, etc... but it's all talk. In the end, they'll go after the dude who can create that "spark" - in other words, the dude who can trigger her attraction. Barring that, they'll "settle" for the beta provider, or for someone they believe has future potential as a provider. Call it an investment if you will.
It's both their fault. They're both getting something out of it or they wouldn't stick around.
Cuz nice boys = usually not as good looking
bad boys = usually decent to hot
I'm saying usually. And yes that sounds superficial, we all know we are to some extent.
Also some nice boys are just too nice, there's no excitement, if you get what I mean.
It's the fault of both parties. And, I dont know about the entire "eeling powerful when calling the guy horrible thing. Why would anyone want to put themselves through emotional rollercoasters for that? Sometimes we girls do know better but choose to ignore the signs for lots of reasons. But at the end of the day no one should go around playing games with anyone, male or female.
I'd also like to know where the good ones are myself lol
The nice boys are with the smart girls. Nice boys choose girls that don't have a bad history and smart girls don't let themselves get used by stupid boys. These people choose each other so then they don't have to come online and complain about not finding "good" people to date. Odds are if you're complaining about not finding "good" people to date, you probably aren't that "good" of a person to date yourself. This stuff isn't rocket science.
And there is no "generational" thing, it's always been this way. Talk to many adults and they've seen it all, it was just the same in their day.
There is rarely ever one culprit. Some boys just never fucking grow up and want to play games. And some girls are manipulative and insecure to the point where they want to put themselves in painful situations. I've seen both cases time and time again. Personally I don't want a "bad" boy or a "good" guy. I just want a fucking honest human being. They are out there but they're few and far between.
i'd like to say the problems are the boys, but i guess it's the girl's too.
the problem is that the boys are jerks and manipulate girls but it's the girl's fault for letting herself fall into the conspicuous trap.@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - That's a broad generalization. Pun intended.
okay we can't just generalize that
allgirls are like that. Some girls
putthemselves in these situations; I did it, learnt from it and utilize the knowledge from previous experience for present day situations. Eventually the girl must learn not to put up with that bull crap. And if she keeps doing it over and over again;then there is something seriously wrong with her. It is the guys fault as well but as girls keep indulging into their manipulation the more they are going to continue on in life.
Where are all the nice guys? Well my dear I believe they are a rare species that is slowly dying out. :(Nice guys are definitely not extinct.
Where are they you ask? Well, they are at work, gym, at home working on hobbies or video games, taking classes, and quietly sitting at the bar amongst friends. I say this because I do all of these. Problem is, nice guys are more timid, so they are more nervous to talk to any pretty ladies... and women don't like wussies.
@scribbles - There's nothing really unusual or off with her... it's quite common for girls to go for the jerks. Jerks embody many of the behavioral characteristics that trigger the attraction, which drives a woman's mate selection process almost as strongly - if not moreso - than consideration of other things like wealth and social status. If she cannot successfully manipulate a jerk into following her demands for the long-term (since she needs long-term support for her kids), she'll ultimately settle for a beta-male provider who will fulfill her needs for financial security, while she consorts periodically with the jerks for their DNA (probably around her ovulation time).
Trust me, guys get shit on by girls too (I'm not talking about the Belgium Steamer either). But chances are, it's the person's fault for not identifying the red flags from prior failed relationships. Learn those flags, know when to put your foot down when you are being mistreated, and learn to leave when it doesn't change.
I don’t fall for the wrong guys, but I don’t really look for “nice” guys either. Really, I’m just looking for someone who looks like they’d be a good lay.
I'm still searching for a nice guy
@hockeybiatch@xanga - How did I know someone wasnt going to try to turn this topic around and create it into a personal insult? Kinda sad seeing how many people are insulting on here, you'd think it would be a website free of harsh comments and a healthy community and yet it is still full of hate. Sad. I expect better. But thanks for your input. It really means a lot.
My radar is seriously flawed, because the last two times out I truly thought I'd found a nice guy. He started out nice, then ...not so nice. I fell for them when I had every reason to think they were nice. There were probably red flags, I need to learn to recognize them and do a quick 180.
They were quiet, respectful, smart...lying, idiot assholes.
I know there are nice guys out there, now I am trying to figure out why THEY are not attracted to me.
The nice guy i dated was shy, insecure about himself, not very assertive. I dated a nice guy.
I am dating a new good guy now.
I've dated bad guys in my life too. They were exciting and thrilling but then I knew I was used in the end. Or I was ignorant and knew I was used during the middle or when I haven't seen them and had time alone for myself to think.
@AbnormalButSane@xanga - 2 points for the pun.