Monday, 26 December 2011
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Break-up Excuses
My sister's boyfriend just broke up with her last night (night of 25th December that is) and the reason was that he wanted to concentrate on studying and that they'll be together when he's financially stable and has the ability to take care of her properly (getting married). Which is fine and all... except that they're both still in high school. How long is that going to take? He's planning to finish college and then get a job, so what? He expects my sister to just wait over four years so that they might get back together when he has a job and can support himself?I'm not saying they shouldn't be seeing marriage as a goal, if that's what he really means then it shows how serious he is about the relationship. It just feels more like an excuse to break up. My sister and I are overseas right now, so he broke up with her over Skype, and also less than a week before her birthday. There's not that much urgency is there? Just to wait a few weeks for her to go back and talk about it in person? Even if it was brought up before, we go back a week before their last year at high school starts.
Does this sound ridiculous to anyone else? Even if they're both students and have no income there are still plenty of ways to have fun that are free or cheap. Money isn't even an issue for him, he constantly picks going out instead of eating at home and suggests going to movies even when there's nothing they want to watch. There has never been any talk of money problems from him in the 3 years I've known him. Study should be a priority but to put all that "I'll come back for you when I can marry you" at this point in time and as a break up line is just BS.
Your thoughts?
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- From: wynyan
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Comments (61)
Sounds like homeboy just tried to 'let her down easy' instead of being real with her. He's probably fucking her best friend.
It definitely sounds ridiculous. He doesn't necessarily have to break up with her. And besides, if that was the reason that he wanted to get married when he can fully support both of them, your sister could have waited that day right by his side and be supportive. But this thing ... it just sounds like an excuse and I wouldn't even bother to wait to get back together if I were your sister.
It isn't anymore on what he is saying, but more so of her just moving on. Anyone expecting someone else to wait for them is being selfish. She can find someone who can make time for her instead of just having her wait around until "he's ready."
that sounds fucking stupid.
just move on.
and if in a few years, your sister and the guy are still into each other, then they can talk about marriage.
This is what he should have said, " I am about to go to college where a young man is supposed to party, meet girls, and sleep with as many as possible. I love you and you're marriage material so in 4 years... I'll give you a call."
When I was in high school I dumped my first semi girlfriend person thingy in a pretty similar way. Told her I had to focus on my grades and getting into college and so on and so forth. Though that was a partial reason, the real motivating reason was that I liked someone else and felt it unfair to be with her, but didn't want to hurt her by telling her the whole truth. In retrospect, that's a pretty lame reason to break up though, just learn to have more time management and everythin should be fine.
@FuhkAwf@xanga - you just made my life brooo.
i fucking hate people that don't have the balls to say what they want. tell me to my fucking face what your problem is.
equally as bad is when they wait till it's too much of a burden for you to do something about it, instead of telling you when it *starts* to be a problem so you can change.
i've made remarks before about not dating california girls because they're not assertive. hmm i wonder how they fared with this one...
Douchebag. My ex was like that and found a new gf within 2 months of breaking up with me.
@ShirleyD@xanga - Exactly!
He could just be really unrealistic and think that taking a break is the best thing, but a four year break? I mean my ex and I were dating in high school and we vowed to stay together for eight years before marriage. That's what would really happen I think if he really wanted to marry her. She should move on and find a better man.
they're young so they don't realize what they're saying yet. (unless they plan on getting married early)
I have a friend who dumped another friend said: I have to go to the bathroom because every time I get home, I have to go. to avoid the awkwardness -____-
So, is that an excuse to break up? Why ais this guy so afraid to tell the truth instead of leaving her just hanging like that? Soo immature, but they are in high school anyways!
sounds like hes trying to let her down easy. what a jerk to do it on christmas... though I guess there never is a "good time" to break up with someone!
he doesn't want to be with her.. tell her to move on and not waste time... She will find someone better.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - seriously. My ex was like that and it drove me crazy. He never told me there was a problem until a week after whatever he was annoyed about happened...so I thought everything was fine, then he'd randomly tell me something I'd done to annoy him him a week before...wtf?! He broke up with me a week ago because I got pissed off at how he dealt with things, haha. Oh well. No love lost.
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
This guy is not a real man.
Your sister can and will do better!
It sounds like your sister needs to tell him she has no plans to marry him in the future if they can't be together til then, so byeee.
Yah that probably isn't the real reason. He's probably just too much of a wuss to tell her that he just doesn't want to be with her anymore. I know that when I was a senior in high school, my boyfriend broke up with me claiming that it was because we were going to different colleges, 2 hours away from each other. However, not only did he break up with me in February, but he immediately started pursuing one of my friends (also going to a different college. hmmm...). People just need to get some guts when they break up with a person! Tell your sister to move on.
they're in high school. boys were stupid-er then.
Yeah they might set out with that ideal in mind, but in the end they won't.
Wait, excuse me a second, they ARE SENIORS? in highschool..
An he dumped her on Christmas, a week before her birthday, and over SKYPE?
I'm sorry. If I were you, I'd tell your sister there is someone WAY better for her then him.
Not only was that a jackass move, but absolutely ridiculous.
And most likely a complete lie.
TBH, it just sounds like an excuse... Thats fine though, Im sure she will be able to find someone good for her. ALso, there are alot of fun things you can do without money.. Me and my boyfriend used to always do those kinda things (like go for walks, ect) before we both got jobs..
Your sister should call him and demand that he tell her the truth. He doesn't get to be a coward in this situation. How dare he call on Christmas, a week before her birthday, with that BS excuse. I wouldn't stand for it. He wants to be a man? Man up and stop being a coward.
I had an ex pull some similar type of excuse. I didn't buy it. My mom told me to call him and straighten it out for myself. I called him and told him to tell me straight out what the real reason was and told him that was a much better reason and he should have told me that one from the beginning. You can't do that to people.