Friday, 23 December 2011
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When Love Becomes Routine
Girls always get mad at us guys because we never remember the date of our first kiss or the date of some other strange obscure event. Not to say that the first kiss is not important, but I mean, come on, the date? Okay, that made me sound like a jerk. No, but seriously… the date? Anyways, the one thing that I decided to really try to remember is the first time I go to pick up the girl that I like from her house. I know most guys don’t really get what I’m saying, but after I explain you will (I hope).The first drive to that girls house is always nerve-wracking. You spend extra time on your appearance, your hair, your clothes, and your breath. Then you get directions to a foreign unknown neighborhood, hop in your car, and set off on this adventure. So there you are sitting in your car driving ridiculously slow, reading all the street signs, looking at the numbers on every house, while searching for this place you have never seen before. When you finally pull up to that house all nervous and she walks out that door, you can’t help but smile and be happy.
And that is what I am talking about. Because if things work out between you two, you know this drive will become routine. One day you'll be able to zip by all the streets and pull up to her house without thinking twice. She will walk out that door and you won’t even look up. That to me is depressing. I try to make a point to always remember that first drive, to remember how nervous I was, how I tried so hard, and how I couldn’t wait to see her.
We should never lose sight of where we started from before we became so comfortable with one another. I feel that when we let things—even little things—in a relationship become routine, that is when it fails. Be grateful and appreciate those things. Even receiving a kiss "Hello" or "Goodbye" could quickly be taken for granted. Remember that that kiss represents everything you’ve ever wanted and tried so hard to get. So, do not let Love become routine—for Love does not come by easily.
Do you have a particular event that you like to remember to keep things in perspective?
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About the Author
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- From: MikeyS
- Name: MikeyS
- Location: Long Island, New York, United States
- About Me: Here to share my relationship successes, blunders, downright failures, and thoughts about dating in general. Some of it is embarrassing, some of it is funny, some of it I'm not proud of, and some of it I've never shared with anyone. I'm just going to tell it the way I see it. (Friend, subscribe, or ask me anything. I'd love to hear your thoughts about past topics and your ideas about future ones!)
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Comments (29)
I remember the day we started dating, for sure.
I remember that our first date was Friday, February 13th, 2009. And it was awesome. But then we didn't officially start our relationship until July 18th.
This was super sweet! I love the concept of this idea!
I remember the date and circumstances surrounding every first kiss. There aren't that many I'll admit, but I remember every one of them.
Oh this blog threw me off. Thankfully! The cheese was great. :) I never thought of this that way and it's good you planted the seed in my mind.
you realize that the rest of datingish lives in the city, right? where no one drives or has to pick anyone up?
i also never remember the first time i fuck a girl, cause i'm usually pretty plastered.
oh i remember the first kiss my boyfriend and i had, i'm pretty sure it was the MOST EPIC kiss in the history of kissing. i say that more about the emotions involved lol - the situation was random.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - LOL! Come on.. let's compromise.. I'll write something that only applies to me and... you... you use your imagination...
"Girls always"...and you lost me. you might think of a better way to start your post than generalizing more than half the population.
@enoughtodiefor@xanga - Way to take a totally sweet post and shit on it.
very true.
before my SO and i couldn't stay away from each other and couldn't be apart physically. but now, we get so busy with our lives, working, studying, friends, family,we barely have time for each other.we barely even have time to hug or a simple kiss.
that's why I proposed at least 2 days per month called "no technology day"a day where I am not allowed to be on my phone, on facebook and he is not allowed to check his emails, etc. We just spend the day talking and hugging and doing things as a couple.
@prettykay04@xanga - Hah No Technology Day. I like that idea!
@PastExploits@xanga - I feel like there's been a tendency on xanga to generalizes each sex, and people seem to do it without realizing it. OP has great advice, and I never said OMG this post sucks. It's called constructive criticism.
This blog made me remember how nervous I got when I saw my now boyfriend outside waiting for me for the first time. It's sweet to know that guys are nervous on first dates too.
We had forgotten when our first date was so we made up an anniversary I kid you not.
Dates for specific events like the first kiss etc just aren't that important to me.
I am not even entirely sure how accurate our month/ date are but it doesn't matter. We chose the date and it's been the same date for 8 years, so in the end, who the heck cares?
@prettykay04@xanga - aww! that's a really nice idea :)
I enjoy routine. I think the most important thing is to know that every kiss and touch is special, no matter how comfortable one is. Well I think that's what you're getting at, but it's not so much the routine that kills a relationship. People depend on routine, it is how they know that their life is stable. For example, the routine kiss good bye until the next time you see them. Routine kiss, hello. Those are the little things that I want to keep as a routine, because they're special. Taking each other for granted or the relationship for granted is a spirit killer. For example, just because you know they will forgive you when you do something rude or upsetting, doesn't mean you should do it. Eventually the fear of losing that other person will lower by a significant amount and either one can feel inclined to take advantage of that.
Yeah...I'm a girl and no good at remembering dates either. I'll remember the feeling, but exactly when? Silly goose. I have more important things to stuff into my brain.
If you're always wowing her, the wows can become mundane and meaningless.
Bore me once in a while. That way I know I'm with you for you, not for what I get out of it.
meh
I like to think of myself as being "born again everyday". There are new things to learn and old things to enjoy. I like to remember how excited I was driving to my boyfriends house when we were first together. We've been together 2 years but we always are smiling when I get to the door. That's not depressing at all :). I mean sure we get a little bored/annoyed with each other but overall it's happy times.
I remember the nights I couldn't sleep because I was so anxious about the fact that I realized I was in love with him, the day he first kissed me, that butterfly feeling I got when he first held my hand, the day he taught me how to slow dance, and the first time he ever told me he loved me. I've been with my boyfriend for five months, and our relationship is so comfortable and strong that we're practically best friends. Even if we're lying around the house we always seem to have an adventure. I continue to fall for him more and more every single day, whether we're apart or not!
@prettykay04@xanga - I've actually proposed that idea many times and it has helped our relationship. I sometimes think that technology can get in the way of relationships etc; so it's best to take a break from it all.
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