Mama's boy, caretaker, liar, gentleman, or sweetheart—These traits may be transferred from one relationship to another. Should you be paying more attention to how he treats his mother?
The theory is that a man who is rude or lies to his mother will do the same to you. A man who is spoiled by his mother will expect to be spoiled by you. And a man who is kind, respectful, and open with his mother will treat you the same.
Can the relationship between a mother and son truly be a window to see how he will treat another woman?I like to believe that every relationship we have evolves independently from our previous ones. But there is no denying that we are all influenced by our past experiences. It makes sense to use a mother/son relationship as an indicator because it is the longest standing relationship any man has with a female in his lifetime. Granted it may not apply 100% of the time, I still believe there is some merit to this idea.
What do you think?Do you see any similarities in his relationship with his mother to how he interacts with you?On the flip-side: Do you think the relationship between a father and daughter also reveals something about how she will treat or expect to be treated by her SO?
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Comments (57)
I think your post could be on to something. My ex is spoilt rotten by his mother and he expected so much from me and almost wanted me to look after him. Pah. My other ex was a gentleman all the way through and he seemed to have a nice relationship with his mother.
I'm very sure there are exceptions, but it's something to look out for nonetheless.
I love the relationship that my boyfriend has with his mother. When we get back to his house after going out or just going to his house he always gives his mom a kiss on the cheek. It's so precious.
Yes he and his father constantly tease her, but it's one of the ways they show they love her. Haha.
Remember, he'll potentially have lots of girlfriend, but he'll only ever have one mother.
Huhn... I've never thought about that before. Now when I think back to past relationships, I can say, yes and no. One of them did interact with me as he did his mother, but another one did not.
That's interesting.
Guess no one's ever had arguments with their parents before
One funny thing about my current boyfriend is that I am almost exactly like his mom. We live with his grandparents, and his grandpa calls me Carol sometimes by mistake. We look similar, have the same deep kinda raspy voice, both love cars and can change a tire or jump a car better than any man. His mom and I have a pretty amazing relationship, she's very open and understanding about things. I guess if you have an amazing mother, you would want somebody who showcases some of the same qualities. After all, she is the lady to bring your SO home to. I myself have a set of terrible parents who I have a bad/nonexistant relationship with, so it's refreshing to see my boyfriend have a stable parent that radiates love the way I imagine most parents should.
Though my husband loves his mother, he's quite distant from her. I mean, he doesn't really talk to her or show her affection and he's the complete opposite when it comes to me. The same could be said between my father and I - so, no, I don't think a relationship between a mother and a son will reflect how he would treat you and vice versa.
Some folks treats their significant other like shit, but show the most respect to their mothers. Makes you wonder how, why, and where he got that shitty behavior from.
i might argue that there's a better correlation between how a guy treats people and how he'll treat his so (same for girls).
however, i think there have been studies showing that guys with older mothers prefer older girls. which is funny, cause my mother was 27 when i popped out (which i don't consider particularly old) and i prefer older women myself.
my bf respects and idolizes his mother. he adores and worships me. I'm okay with that
i can see the correlation to a point. but what ive always noticed- is look at how he treats animals, he will treat you the SAME exact way. dont for one second think he wont. worst experience of my life, they ran over an animal "just because" and have 0 respect for anyone. best experience of my life, they treated animals well and like little people with their unique personalities. thats always been a great indicator and has been true over and over--- look at how they treat animals, thats exactly how they'll treat you!
I always look at the relationship between a guy and his mother and father. The way he talks about them and treats them says a lot to me.
My mom has alwaysc told me that if he gets along with his mom he'll treat you well. I believe that.
I've heard that before, and it definitely makes sense. I could see my self treating a girl the same way I treat my mother. However, as much as I respect and love her, I don't think I would ever want to be with someone who is just like my mother. She can be very difficult to deal with and is on her third husband now. I would hope to be with a girl who is not as difficult to live with as my mother. However, from growing up with her, I'd say I've learned to be much more patient and compassionate with people, and for that I'm very grateful.
In my case, no, not at all. My boyfriend treats his mother awfully and me wonderfully. Why? Because he sees her as a selfish, immature woman and me as, well, not that. He sometimes refers to her as "bitch" and I remember saying something to him like "If you can call your mother a bitch then you can call me a bitch" and he responded "I call her that because I have no respect for her."
Besides his mother he's pretty damn kind and lovable towards everyone else.
@Pink_TeaCups@xanga - I had the same experience. My ex was so pampered and spoiled by his mom! He pretty much wanted me to take her place. He couldn't do a single thing on his own. It was weird and I was out running in three weeks!
My boyfriend is so sweet with his mom and playful... I love it. :) he is the first man i dated who is on great terms with his mom and it shows in how he treats me. Such a gentleman and kind. :) I am in a good relationship with my dad so maybe its just a parental respect thing?
My boyfriend's mother is a faaaaaantastic cook, and I've joked that I'm afraid of having to live up to that... and, well, it's probably true because he doesn't deny it haha. I can definitely see a correlation in how he treats his mom vs. me. He treats us both wonderfully and is super caring. But... I do wish he would learn her cooking skills so I don't have to worry about that lol. Hopefully he means it when I say I can do baking while he does cooking haha (:
The relationship between my husband and the "monster"-in-law is very strained because she tends to be an overbearing bitch. She's been mad at me since about 2 weeks before our wedding because of something I supposedly said or did (but she won't tell anyone what it was). Things were already strained between the two of them, but her refusal to show up at our wedding was the straw that broke the camels back for him.
He makes me feel like there isn't a damn thing wrong with my life, though. Some men disprove that they'll treat you like they treat their mother.I don't think it is just his mother, but his sisters and any other women in his life. If he is disrespectful to his mother or other female family members, he probably is going to be the same toward you.
I wouldn't write a guy completely off, though, for not having a great relationship with his mother, just because you never know the whole story. AND "mama's boys" are not ideal. Having a good relationship with your mother, loving her, respecting her, all great. But knowing she will ALWAYS be his first priority and he will ALWAYS take her side in things...erk. I am not particularly a big fan of guys who don't seem to have room in their life for another woman because they are SO dedicated to their mama and/or sister(s).
My boyfriend was never spoiled and doesn't expect much from me, though I try to be the best girlfriend possible! If its true that how a guy treats his mother is how he treats his girl than I am going to do just fine, because he treats both his mother and me well. :)
....unless his mother is an abusive lunatic. Then all bets are off.
My husband's mom is a deadbeat and she's lazy and "disabled." She has lied to us so many times and he is always screaming at her and gets pissed off at her easily. It takes him a lot to get mad at me.
Well if it is true, it DEF aint true for my "dad" if you can call that verbally abusive man that. He thinks his mother is God and treats everyone else like shit.
In my case...perhaps, but my in father's case? Hell no. It varies, I think, just like everything else.
@Movere@xanga - Same shit with my dad. Abusive to everyone but his mother. I'm assuming mine put up with his for the money, though. So perhaps she would've been treated like everyone else if not for that? LOL