When we first start dating someone, the beginning is always bliss. They don't call it the "honeymoon phase" for nothing. You want to spend all your time with that person. You (hopefully) rarely fight, if ever at all. Eventually you (both) reach the point where something gets under your skin, you bicker about petty things and just like that..honeymoon phase- gone.
It's only normal and natural to get into arguments. It's inevitable when you spend a majority of your time with one person. Hopefully, you know when to separate your feelings of anger from your feelings for that person you love. Sometimes, we just can't help ourselves - especially when it's their fault you're angry! I think that the point you start getting into these little bickering arguments is the point you know that you need to stop spending some time apart. It's healthy and natural for you to have your own life when you're in a relationship. Don't forget about your friends, still do the things you enjoy, etc. It's so easy to get caught up in your relationship and that other person.
In my situation, my boyfriend and I have been dating a few months and spend a majority of our time together. We do argue or bicker about little, stupid things but we always get back to where we were because we love each other so much. Even though we're probably at the point where we should spend some time apart from time to time, I just can't help wanting to hang out with him all the time. I feel like I'm sixteen all over again.
How long did you wait after the "honeymoon phase" to spend some time with your friends and do your own things? How long did your honeymoon phase last?
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Wow, really?
In my last long term relationship that phase lasted roughly a year to possibly two years. Then again we were 16 when we first started going out and we were just happy to have found each other in general. It's a nice feeling but it can really set you up for disaster later on cause then it seems like bad stuff is happening "all of sudden" when you're really just maturing in your relationship.
I'm still with my boyfriend and our honeymoon stage lasted alittle over a year. and we've been together 2 1/2 years almost its just been recent with the fighting and well during holidays everyone bickers with someone because of all the stress! Other than that I know were not in our honeymoon stage anymore but there are many times where i still feel like we are because we love eachother that much.
It's true, once you start bickering, the honeymoon is over. But, I've found that the honeymoon phase can be reignited with some passion inducing vacations or lingerie. It's really about not letting things get boring... It's easy to fall into habit, but if you're actively working to make each day it's own unique day worthy of its own journal entry, then you're doing it right. It's the trying that will keep things fresh enough to make the relationship keeps its passion.
i've never had that phase. I find it dishonest.
I hate the honeymoon phase. It makes you feel good about a relationship because people rarely show their true self until after it's over. I do try to bring a bit of what it's like durring the honeymoon phase to every single day even after it's over. Make me a card because you wanted to see how those colors looked together, write me a letter because you watched the sun rise, give me a hug just because it's Tuesday, or write a song because the chirps of birds were beautiful to you... we can all be a simple person. And it's an amazing feeling to get things for no reason :) as we've heard before, couples are going to fight. It's natural. -Now to your questions: I don't have friends, lol. Sad.. but seriously, I moved states, and all my friends are 'back home'. But I think it's safe to hang with friends as soon as you feel comfortable. If you still want to spend time with him, ask him along. As I said above, I make sure there is always some sort of honeymoon(ish) phase'y thing going on every day, so it never really ended, lol.
I prefer the term 'infatuation period', because that's really what it is. 'Honeymoon phase' suggests that the relationship definitely has some permanence which is not true at all, otherwise people wouldn't be splitting up left, right and centre once the initial 'lovey-dovey' feelings subside.
As for my relationship ... I can't really pin-point when it ended, to be honest, which I guess might suggest that it didn't.
@princesscookiex@xanga - Agreed! I was just thinking of that word: "infatuation."
That's what I miss most about the "honeymoon" stage, the whole I'm-absolutely-infatuated-with-you. I've been in a relationship for almost two years (1 year, 10 months) and I feel we're heading out of the honeymoon stage. But, I won't miss it *too* much. I feel the honeymoon stage is a little immature. Moving on from that is when the real relationship stuff starts: getting annoyed with each other, overcoming problems, still keeping the relationship going when the constant romance ends, etc. The honeymoon stage is the easy part.
I'm pretty terrified of ever feeling that ever again... Or maybe it's the crash of reality that follows.
I used to miss it, but now I prefer my emotional independence.
mine's been going on 2 1/2 years now. i still am madly in love with my boyfriend and am still completely in this phase.
My honeymoon phase lasted a year...and then things went disastrously! I think...our problem was that we let things slide in the beginning, and then by the time the 'I'm so infatuated with you, nothing fazes me' wore off...those things were habitual and we drove each other nuts. I felt like in our first year together, I was really intent on pleasing him, and keeping him happy and so I didn't vocalize my issues - and that ended up being a huge mistake.
As long as you communicate from the get-go, I think you can get a smooth transition into a "normal" relationship and it'll last. Good luck!
My boyfriend and I don't believe in the honey moon phase so it's good everyday :)
I dunno, I'm not very experienced. But just to comment on one of the questions posed at the end of the post - shouldn't you be sure to continue your own things - tending to your own matters and own friends - even in the beginning of a new relationship? Seems unhealthy to do otherwise.
I've been with my husband for 6 years, married for a little over two of those years. Our infatuation/honeymoon period lasted for probably the first 2 or 3 years. After that we just kind of mellowed out some. Everyone always talks about hanging out with their friends, and doing things apart from eachother, but my husband and I are best friends. If we start bickering a lot instead of heading opposite directions we usually pick something extraordinarily fun and do that together instead.
It's kinda sad but I still really like to spend time with my boyfriend, he lives pretty far away from me so we both work really hard to see each other every week and we've been dating for 2.5 years already! We both have friends to hang out with (which is very important), but when push comes to shove, we'll always try to make time for each other first.
I dunno. We fight rarely, usually in a day long cluster, almost always around a "dry" spell or when other people around us are bitchy. But we still always want to be near each other and we've lived together 2 1/2 years. I do not quite believe the honeymoon phase probably because I have not experienced that sudden, prolonged dip in happiness.
I'm definitely going through this right now. I think the "honeymoon phase" is coming to an end and it makes me sad. I was starting to think things were getting "bad" or wouldn't work.. because it felt so different and not that super happy in love feeling as it was in the beginning. I feel like I almost ruin my relationships by how I act or handle the situation once the phase is over and it gets more routine or not as exciting. I don't know how to act or make things better and I just focus on how it feels weird or different and I feel like I push every boyfriend I have ever had away.. :( I guess I don't know what I am doing or how to handle the situation and keep things good.. any advice!?
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Luckily enough, my boyfriend and I were long-time friends before we started dating. I asked him about this ("Are we still in the honeymoon phase?") and he responded with "I think people would have a hard time classifying our 'phases.'" I think he's very right.
Maybe my relationship is just rare and perfect then lol
In my current relationship the first month with him I was really nervous! 2nd-4th month were just all about sex and getting to know each other. 5th-1st year fighting and bickering galore. 1st year- 1st year and a half was more diffused fighting, romantic love, a lot of happiness. From then on to the second year (the present) we hardly ever fight, we get a little annoyed, we are very comfortable and happy.
My current relationship is absolutely amazing. I've never had a guy who goes out of his way for me and treats me like I deserve. He is always patient, kind, and caring with me and ALWAYS puts me first. The honeymoon phase hasn't ended, and it seems like everyday I am falling more and more in love with him. It is such a great feeling! We're practically best friends. For some reason I don't think the honeymoon phase will end very quickly. Sure, we get annoyed with each other and have small arguments, but in the end I know he loves me and everyday he makes it an adventure! xoxoxo
i was with mine for 6 years before we split. we split when i felt the honeymoon phase was over. no job. but he got one. and we're back together again. so the honeymoon phase has been going on for... 6.5 years? par example... we can't stand to be away from each other. i just bought him hockey tickets for his 1st chance to watch an nhl game live even though i already bought tickets for march, i wantedd to have some tickets earlier. he bought me the rest of my royal albert tea set which he stacked in the form of a stanley cup. we still can't keep our hands off each other everywhere in public, even in front of our own parents. i have plans to take him to "a night in vienna", which is a 5 hour drive away for us in about a month. then in july, hopefully i can get formula 1 tickets in germany for him to enjoy. those constant surprises is what keeps our love so fiery. every year, we get each other gifts. i started to fade when i was pissed off about the job & our future. but every year, we celebrate christmas, valentine's day & our anniversary. every year, we go on a huge trip & atleast one local trip. we see each other every day, for atleast 2 hours. whenever we call each other, we call each other by affectionate nicknames. we kiss each other goodnight. he walks me to my door. he opens the car door for me, even after 7 years of knowing him. our relationship has only gotten stronger with time.
i think you have to grow together to have deeper love & to continue the honeymoon phase. i don't know waht people do if they don't have the honeymoon phase but we spend the same amount of money on each other as we did years ago. just because we want to get married or want to buy a house, we don't start to scrimp & save to the point where we're sacrificing things. i think that's what cuts the honeymoon phase, cuz all you're doing is thinking about the good of the family or the future. you don't think about each other & what each other wants anymore. we might lose the honeymoon phase when we have kids. that's what i think. but yeah, i'd like to hear about what life is like for people who are out of the honeymoon phase & why they think it got like that.
maybe also knowing that few other people can give me the happiness he does is the reason why i'd rather spend 1 hour with him than a whole day with another person. living together & seeing each other 24/7 would only make us happier.
the bottom line is, some people don't care if the honeymoon phase is over. they're fine with it. i like having it still cuz it makes our relationship more special. hopefully you find the one who thinks the same way you do about honeymoon phases.
@Rose_Hikari@xanga - i feel like i'm in the honeymoon stage but we still have huge fights. lke i just had one today! but it's like a few days out of 360 other days of absolute bliss. i still get excited to see him. i'm glad to take off his load after a long day of work & serve him a nice hot dinner. he loves surprising me with his famous chocolate chip cookies. that's not immature to me. whether or not we can still do that when toting a mortgage & managing a family? i'm not sure.
@TallTanYoungLovely@xanga - i've been in the honeymoon phase for over 6 years. how do you keep the honeymoon phase going or is it just natural?