Tuesday, 20 December 2011
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Men are More Likely to Leave Their Sick Wives?
A 2009 study of more than 500 married U.S. couples conducted at Washington University, Seattle, found that men are seven times more likely to leave a relationship because of their partner’s serious illness than a woman is.
Similarly, in the Macmillan study, 31 per cent of women said their relationship had ended due to cancer — compared with 11 per cent of men. "Men are more visual than women and are more likely to be attracted by what they see. Equally they are more likely to reject for this reason," says Leila Collins.
Read more hereThe article goes on to tell the story of Bethann who had surgery due to cancer. Her husband of 14 years (and high school sweetheart) Jasper was so revolted by the scar that he made his sick wife sleep on the recliner, lest her scar touch their bed! In a sick twist of fate, he later contracted lung cancer and died in 2001.
Why do you think men are more likely to leave their sick spouses?
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- From: AmeliaHart@xanga
- About Me: I crashed my plane..... trying to find a way back home...
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Comments (81)
Probably because guys hold a lot more value to visual attributes than women do, so having a sick spouse is less palatable to them. Also, many guys nowadays are spineless assholes who only live for the pump and dump.
NICE! Illustrating this post with a picture of Newt Gingrich- the man who announced to his wife that he wanted a divorce the moment that she was wheeled out of chemotherapy. The man is a bastard... and so are all those men and women who leave their sick partners.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - True, true
Men are weaker than women when it comes to dealing with these things. They may feel inadequate and frustrated because they can't fix what's hurting her.
Imho, traditionally, I think women tend to be the caregivers of the family while men tend to be the providers. When a wife has a serious illness, the husband is pushed into the role of the caregiver and he's unable to cope with his wife's illness. And therefore, he feels he cannot handle the situation and decides the easy way out is to leave his wife. A dick move if you ask me.
@Pickwick12@xanga - This is a great comment. I don't know how many times I've heard my (engineer) husband say, "I fix things, that's what I do, and I can't fix this!" Those are the times he gets really frustrated. He didn't leave me when I was sick, though. It probably never entered his mind.
Am I the only one tired of the "men are more visual" excuses? Women also care about looks!
Idk. It's how society views men as inconsiderate a-holes?
I wouldn't leave just because she is sick. Especially when she needs the ones around her the most. Never was much of a trend follower anyway.
That's not love. Those men clearly never felt love for their wives, they probably just needed the attention like little fucking babies.
well that's good to know >_<
@Mad_Wife@xanga - It's not an excuse. Women do care about looks, but not to the degree that men do. There are evolutionary reasons for the disparities.
@heart_leigh@xanga - A very good assessment.
Then I'm glad my bf hasn't left me because I'm mostly sick all the time though it is sad to see this from other men ;/
On flipside, I've known women who have left their SO because he was either not making enough money or lost his job. People leave their spouses for all kinds of fucked up reasons.
Wow. I think datingish should be renamed "Why women are better than men" because that's all you hear on this site: how men are worthless pieces of shit and women are amazing goddesses.
Sorry, I ain't buying it. Though it does confirm what I've suspected all along: women don't want equality in this world, they want superiority.
women are nurturing. im glad not all people are this way,
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I actually agree with you on that!
@StatelessPilot@revelife - You really need to research women's history and see what kinds of rights they fought for in previous generations. Some of the issues are still holdovers from years gone by.
I think it's because some men are big ass jerks! Their wife gets sick and she can't take care of him any longer or like she used to and his "feelings" get hurt and he runs off so somebody will wash his underpants and make him pancakes in the morning.
When I got the diagnosis of skin cancer my then husband complained to me for half an hour about his "stomach pains" and how hard he had it (he never consoled me for having cancer) then after visits to the doctor they said that perhaps he had heartburn. I wasn't allowed to have cancer (he insisted the test was wrong), and I wasn't even sick because it was just skin cancer!
bc those men are jerks.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - History is irrelevant to the modern era. We live in the now, what happened in the past doesn't matter. Besides, "women's history" is usually just a tainted version of history as championed by feminazis. Trust me, I know. Where I went to grad school had a degree in women's studies and it was a total fucking joke.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - It's not irrelevant at all. Our mothers have passed concepts down to us from their mothers, who passed... etc. Like the whole thing about a woman keeping the money she makes. That stems from the fact that women had no rights to their own money in the not so distant past.
I clearly can see where "Women Studies" in colleges may be tainted, but still there were plenty of laws that did in fact make women nothing more than property. I'm not talking about activism, nor feminism, I'm talking about what women went through for reals.
My grandmother left an abusive husband after he threw her down the stairs while she was 8 months pregnant with their fourth child. She told me she had a hard time getting a job to support them because the bosses (who were all men) kept padding her on the head and telling her to let her husband deal with the finances. They were then horrified she was divorced. This was the 1950s, so what she taught her daughters and passed on to me reflected that. Men of your generation today do not seem to grasp what women fought for. It's a shame.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Like I said, I don't really care, because today we live in a world that for the most part accepts gender equality (and rightly so). What happened in the past doesn't mean a thing in the modern world. You've got your equality (and in fact, now the application of a lot of laws is slanted the other way), now shut the fuck up. I get so sick and tired of you feminazis putting women on a pedestal.
What happened in the past is in the past and doesn't matter, unless you're living in the past. I don't know about you, but I'm sure not and I think it's absolutely asinine to do so.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - We don't live in a world that accepts gender equality. For heaven's sake, if you actually truly live in Mexico you'd know that! But alas, I give up... you don't care. I'm not a feminazi in the least.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Lol, of course you're agreeing with me... I'm bashing men this time!
As for your comment on the history of gender inequalities... to be certain, there were many inequalities in the past (and still are today). I think, though, that it doesn't justify some of the gender superiority complexes that many of the third-wave feminists have today.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I agree with you on the third generation stuff as I've witnessed some pretty incredible thoughts in that sector. I'm firmly in the second generation because I'm so old, but I admit I've seen younger girls with some really horrifying beliefs.