There has come a point in all of our relationships where we fight. Sometimes we get over these fights or arguments rather quickly and other times they go on longer than we would like or anticipate. There's always that one argument where you or your partner wants to continue fighting and other just wants to let it go, talk at a more convenient time, cool off before saying something they don't mean or quite simply ..just go to bed! The question is ..do you go to bed angry at your significant other?
I have heard the saying so many times "don't go to bed mad". There are even songs that apply to that. It doesn't just apply to your significant other either ..it goes for everyone and anyone important in your life. There's always that possibility of "what if?" There
are those times though that you don't have the energy to fight anymore. What is a girl/boy to do? Sometimes it can be beneficial to your relationship to let it all out and speak until there's nothing to speak about anymore. I mean, it is normal to fight. I personally have to let it out then and there but some people or couples find it better to cool off and calm down before they speak about a touchy subject.
Do you go to bed angry with your significant other? Do you find it better to talk it out in the moment or wait until you both cool off?
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We do more now than ever because our relationship isn't as good as it used to be, which breaks my heart. It always winds up that he'll fall asleep in 2.5 seconds after a massive argument, while I'm left up crying and feeling like shit. It's awesome.
I'm the type who's too busy fuming to get any sleep. I prefer to air my grievances at the moment because I have a lot to say. Surprisingly, I tend to remain calm and collected even after a heated dispute.
I don't understand how some people can go to sleep after getting into an argument. I always try to talk it out and resolve it, right there and then. Silent treatment is my enemy.
Sometimes we do.. it happens.
i try not to.
IMO, there is nothing wrong with going to bed mad sometimes. If you're going to be up all night fuming then I agree that's a bad idea; but a lot of times, you're only fighting because you're tired and cranky and in a bad mood. In those cases, it can often be a lot better to NOT spend a ton of time talking about it, since talking just makes it worse (distraction is better in those cases).
I also agree iwth @nonurbusinessyo@xanga about physical contact helping a lot, both after and DURING the fight itself. It's easier to remember to fight fair/play nice when you're holding hands or cuddling.
ill wait to cool off. i dont know though, its a hard subject. some people i honestly think shouldn't talk about things when they're in the heat of a moment--
i think its best to wait until you can say what you mean. sure some things will come out, but especially if its something important to you, just take a moment to think about it and breathe.
when i was in my last relationship, i made a promise to myself and him that we'd never go to sleep upset or mad at each other. it was hard at first bc but then we worked on it and it got better. it's not good to go to bed mad at each other. my mom also said that to never go to bed mad at each other.
Tonight we are.
hmm looking back it all depends on my day; if I'm emotionally and physically drained I'd like to sleep on it and resolve it the next day. But if it's a serious fight then it's usually argued out before bed.
I've always heard the phrase that it's not healthy to go to bed mad, and whenever I get into an argument with my boyfriend, I always want to resolve it right away. But for him, he needs time to cool off and steam down and the next day, he will be in a lighter mood to discuss things. So right after an argument, he'll fall asleep within a few seconds whereas I will be too worked up to sleep -_- lol
My boyfriend and I don't really have big arguments, but often if I'm feeling upset or uncertain when I go to bed, I wake up feeling much better, so I can't see it being as devastating as some people say. I guess it just depends on those involved.
I try not to.
But sometimes it can help to 'sleep on it.' Other times, an argument gets to me and I can't sleep. At that point, it's better to discuss what's going on and try to resolve the problem.I find that sleeping off an argument and restarting the conversation in the morning has always been better for my so and I. He's a very aggressive fighter and I'm the 'run away and cry' kind of fighter,.. so putting us together can be exhausting. but, if one of us just walks away furious for a few hours, we'll cool off, put it into perspective, and apologize. plus, we always like to snuggle in bed, so when we can't, it makes us want to apologize more. :P
I honestly believe it depends on the person your with. One of my exs ran away always so we always went to bed mad. My last ex would talk it out but we never resolved the issue. But in light sight I think you should always talk it out. You never know what could happen. But cool down before you talk it out.
Neither one of us really get mad, but usually if we have a disagreement of sorts or somethings going on, it's hard for me to sleep, but he needs to sleep to be able to talk about it so It can be conflicting at times.
A lot of the time I don't have a choice because my partner just falls asleep on me or walks out (we don't live together). I think it screams, "it doesn't bother me to the point where it'll stop me sleeping", which also translates as "I don't really care". As you might be able to tell, I'm the kind who gets angry and stays angry until the issue is resolved. 'Going to bed mad' is something I can't do and falling asleep only occurs because I'm so exhausted from being pissed off.
Usually if I'm really upset at my partner I will cuddle into them just because I want that feeling of being safe and secure even more because they are the ones who caused the hurt. The more mad I get, the more I cuddle, lol.
I don't like to go to bed mad, but my boyfriend mostly refuses to talk under he's slept and his mood has changed the next day. Learning that and living with it/accepting it has really made things easier, as frustrating as it is, because I like to fix/clear things up immediately.
@a_single_raindrop@xanga - same!
Sometimes you're going to be mad for a few days, but if you're still heated when going to bed, you should probably address it. Otherwise things just become way worse. Might as well try to get through it on the same night, so that life can go on and the next day can come.
nope, never. we both like to get everything out and come to a solution/compromise, even if that means staying up until 3 when there's work at 7am the next morning..... and lucky for us we only have one fight a year of that magnitude, if even...
I try not to, even if I'm still mad about a fight, I always,
always, always, tell him that I love him before bed.