Monday, 19 December 2011
Recently, I have been obsessed with learning new languages. My Christmas wishlist is essentially a list of five foreign languages I want textbooks for. And this year I've traveled to something like eight different countries, getting a chance to practice some of the languages I already know.
There are big milestones when you get good at a language - being able to order at a restaurant, being able to have a real conversation, being able to write a serious piece of writing, and... being able to have sex in the language. That is when your cultural integration is complete.
The strange thing is that, having sex in a foreign language also brings in all these cultural identity factors. Over the past couple of years I spent some time living in Japan for work, and I became fluent in Japanese. Beforehand, I had always had sex in English, and I was usually pretty forward and liked dirty talk (though I never liked to curse). When I had sex in Japanese for the first time, I noticed I was higher pitched and more girly and passive. Even the non-word utterances you make are different between languages. Even though I became a completely different person, both felt like the genuine me and I thoroughly enjoyed both ways. I also noticed that my pornography tastes changed to fit the country.
My problem now is that I'm having trouble switching back. Last night, after a long, long dry spell, I finally introduced a guy from my new school to my new room. And even though I was in America, we were both Americans, and we spoke English the whole time, I could not stop myself from having sex the Japanese way. Back when I was in Japan, I had thought guys in Japan liked hearing English vulgarities every so often for language practice, so I had found myself uttering them during sex with them.
I somehow couldn't stop from using an insane amount of them last night. I wonder if it at all weirded him out, or maybe it was a cool cultural experience for him. I also wonder if this phenomenon is an indication that I still miss my life there and want to go back.
Anyways, now I have another motivator for learning all these languages - some exotic sex! Maybe next time I'll try it in sign language.
Have you ever changed your sexual behavior to fit into a different culture?