Monday, 19 December 2011
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Multilingual Sex
Recently, I have been obsessed with learning new languages. My Christmas wishlist is essentially a list of five foreign languages I want textbooks for. And this year I've traveled to something like eight different countries, getting a chance to practice some of the languages I already know.
There are big milestones when you get good at a language - being able to order at a restaurant, being able to have a real conversation, being able to write a serious piece of writing, and... being able to have sex in the language. That is when your cultural integration is complete.
The strange thing is that, having sex in a foreign language also brings in all these cultural identity factors. Over the past couple of years I spent some time living in Japan for work, and I became fluent in Japanese. Beforehand, I had always had sex in English, and I was usually pretty forward and liked dirty talk (though I never liked to curse). When I had sex in Japanese for the first time, I noticed I was higher pitched and more girly and passive. Even the non-word utterances you make are different between languages. Even though I became a completely different person, both felt like the genuine me and I thoroughly enjoyed both ways. I also noticed that my pornography tastes changed to fit the country.
My problem now is that I'm having trouble switching back. Last night, after a long, long dry spell, I finally introduced a guy from my new school to my new room. And even though I was in America, we were both Americans, and we spoke English the whole time, I could not stop myself from having sex the Japanese way. Back when I was in Japan, I had thought guys in Japan liked hearing English vulgarities every so often for language practice, so I had found myself uttering them during sex with them.
I somehow couldn't stop from using an insane amount of them last night. I wonder if it at all weirded him out, or maybe it was a cool cultural experience for him. I also wonder if this phenomenon is an indication that I still miss my life there and want to go back.
Anyways, now I have another motivator for learning all these languages - some exotic sex! Maybe next time I'll try it in sign language.
Have you ever changed your sexual behavior to fit into a different culture?
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About the Author
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- From: bradshaw2point0
- Name: bradshaw2point0
- About Me: I have been watching Sex and the City lately, triggered by my mom's advice. After watching for a while, I realized I had a lot in common with these girls. I had dated men of all kinds and had all sorts of wacky experiences and life lessons. Except almost all of them stemmed from the internet, somehow. I'm Carrie, if she were in her twenties now. I'm Carrie Bradshaw, version 2.0. (Though some say I'm more like Samantha )
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Comments (23)
If you are a cunning linguist you will never have many issues in bed.
what do you mean....by having sex in different language? like dirty talk? or like written sex...cyber sex.. or something like that?
@prettykay04@xanga - can stem down to the way you talk to them or moan during sex.
@Ricardo98@xanga - LOL. best comment ever.
This is funny in so many levels. It's hilarious, actually, because I find myself to be completely identified with this. I lived in France for some years, and I lost my virginity to a French guy while living there. I came back home a couple of months ago & I found myself to be totally different in bed in my native language. It's true that even the non-word utterances are different between languages, even my orgasms & foreplay were so much different. When you experience different cultures, you unconciously change your whole behavior, including your sexual one. But the difference here, is that while you thoroughly enjoy both your Japanese & American sexual behavior, I find myself to like my French one better, I don't really know if it's a matter of time until I get used to this "new" one, but meanwhile I can only say it feels really weird!
Uh. Oh Kay.
I'm sure we all needed to know that.
haha this is a cool post. i know french, though my first language's english. "multilingual sex" has never crossed my mind. definitely putting that one on the list!
The first time I had sex with a non-American (Egyptian in Egypt) he just kept going "wow" haha. I don't think I did/said/sounded any different though.
I think for a lot of people language = mentality. You get in a different mental state when speaking and surrounded by different languages. I am half white, half Mexican, and I know a lot changes about me when I'm around traditional, Spanish-speaking Mexican people. It ranges from small things like the inflections in my spoken English to the big things like my body language/posture and expressions. Knowing this, I imagine sex in a different language is much different than sex in your own commonly-spoken language or native tongue.
That is so cool, I've heard about people dreaming in other languages...
@nepenthium@xanga - exactly what I thought.
@Digital_Angel21@xanga - roflmao lololol :) That was cool. XD *thumbs up, waaaaaay up!*
Lol, I know what you mean. It's kind of great, the side effects of cultural immersion that the guidebooks don't tell you about.
@Ricardo98@xanga - Oh, you like them, too? Or are you not talking about the hip hop group..?
eh, i don't think having sex in a language makes you any more fluent. it's just a matter of which words you bothered to learn.
i slept with my fair share of italian guys and we used mostly italian during sex, but i'm still hardly fluent. i just know my italian sex vocab.Hahaha. My boyfriend is Spanish, but he speaks to me in English during sex. He's fluent in both, so I wonder if he consciously chooses English because I understand it better. However, I understand enough Spanish, so maybe next time... ;)
interesting! I can speak a bit of Chinese, and one time in Taiwan this guy (well... high school kid) was flirting with me.. I flirted back in Chinese, it was good fun but I don't think I'd ever be able to take flirting or dirty talk serious in Chinese. like ever... hahahaha
I like when there is a bit of mystery. But I can see how that would be a turn on.
Unfortunately, whenever I talk to a Hispanic person, all I can remember how to say is "Where's my keyboard?" and "There were dinosaurs everywhere!"
I doubt either of those would be useful during sex. But you never know.
@anenigmaofsorts@xanga - You could play "where's my dinosaur?" O.o
Definitely. When I started seeing my first non-American boyfriend, I LOVED when he would speak in polish to me. Something about being spoken to in a foreign language while doing the deed...is unbelievably hot.