I have heard this being argued either way. Physical cheating is worse because it involves something that is supposed to only be shared between two committed people; Emotional cheating is worse because the other person no longer loves you. Let's get one thing straight: They're both cheating. But do some people really think that one is worse than the other?
I had been in one relationship in which I didn't see physical cheating as much of a big deal. It is still something that may be hard to understand, but it is directly attributed to both of our views on it. Physical intimacy is only as special as the people doing it make it out to be. My girlfriend and I had been so comfortable and understanding of our physical bodies and needs that had she ever expressed the desire to "try" other people I would have been alright with it. Although sex had become something very special between us, it was something that was nothing more than a physical act if it were with other people.
This was only possible because I trusted that, emotionally, she was still with me. Had she told me that she was leaving me for someone else because of love, that would have been a different story. This is not the view I have on it in every relationship, but this particular one was unique in this way and it got me thinking a lot about the idea of cheating.
Cheating doesn't hurt or have the gut-wrenching effect because of the physical acts involved.
I think the part that hurts the most about it is the deception. The thing you are the most upset about isn't that your SO slept with someone else. It's that he/she lied to you about it, convinced you that you were all they needed, and did it behind your back.
I'm not saying you should inform your SO the next time you have an urge to to be unfaithful and it will be okay. I'm saying that physical intimacy is special to only those people that want it to be.
Is one worse than the other? What are your thoughts?
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Comments (77)
Uh..both.
Yeahhh... I'm going to go ahead and say they would both suck, but I haven't been cheated on, so I can't say which I would find worse. Just THINKING about it, I would say that emotional would be harder to deal with than physical. At least with physical, you can attribute it to one stupid decision (hopefully), but if it's emotionally... There's not really much hope left in that relationship. In that case, it isn't a "stupid decision," it's straight up choosing someone else to love. At least that's how I see it, but then... Like I said, I've never been cheated on (that I know of), so I can't really say how I'd react to either.
Emotional cheating is definitely way worse. It just shows that someone else means more to your bf/gf than you do.
Personally, it's both. Either way, the thought of my man giving his time and attention to someone else emotionally or him being physically intimate with another woman would devastate me.
I find both to be equally wrong and terrible. Both are a form of cheating, deception, and betrayal. I've gone through the SO emotionally cheating on me situation and it is not fun to find out about. One of the worst feelings ever. I think that if anyone is cheating, whether that be emotionally or physically, they should just do their SO a favor and end the relationship. It's kind of messed up that someone can seriously look their SO, that they supposedly care about, in the eye and say, "I love you", when they're actually a lying, cheating prick. It's a bit astonishing to me. I couldn't fathom even having the capability to even attempt to do that to someone I care about.
Physically cheating is WAY worse! You can't catch an STD from a purely emotional affair.
I find both to be unacceptable and both are just as bad, because in the end it is emotional for the victim regardless of type of cheating. The victim was betrayed, and that's a feeling that is hard to shake, no matter how the traitor tries to justify it. He/she should have respected their partner enough to control him/herself.
they're both bad.
but it depends on what gender you are.
Emotional cheating is like taking a baseball bat in the face; Physical cheating is like a stab in the back.
That's my view. My ex emotionally cheated on me and I was naive and didn't know that it was even cheating. She didn't DO anything, but it was very wrong of her. 3ish years later, she left me for someone else. Both hurt like hell.
Definitely emotional. Let's face it. Other people don't get ugly just because you two are dating. On a side note, I don't condone physical cheating either. I have had an open relationship before. We both go do our thing and at the end of the night we end up with each other.
Many females do share my same view and believe that their SO do still truly love them but have physically cheated on them.
But to share an emotional connection with someone else, might as well kiss that relationship goodbye.
Both are evenly hurtful. It's not the cheating part that hurts the most. It's the fact that you have been deceived by the one you love is what makes cheating...cheating.
Both are hurtful in many respects. I was living with my so called boyfriend last fall and he broke things off, only later did I find out he was talking to someone else the entire time we were together and even more so he hid it from me, I come to find out he was talking to someone else from a mutual friend of ours--Ironically all his friends think what he did to me was awful, and they do not have much respect for the girl he talked to when he was living with me. I am kinda bitter still about the entire thing, because I recently heard he might propose to her over the holidays...WTF, he does not even deserve my well wishes etc...
Sorry just had to vent and get out my emotions, there is plenty more I want to say, but won't--since he might find this. :(
Secondly I have been cheated on by another guy who used me physically, he was dating several women behind my back and I never knew until someone told me one of the ladies lived right down the street from me.
However, now I have an amazing boyfriend, who I love and adore and he loves and adores me back.
Both would break my heart so I couldn't choose which was worse. How about we stick to the "do unto others what you would like done to you" rule. However it's worded.
Both are horrible, but emotional cheating would actually tear me apart.
I think this argument is futile. Both suck dick and it all depends on each situation. If you love and respect your S/O you wouldn't put yourself in situations where trust has potential of being broken.
In my experience, guys don't care what I FEEL about another guy as long as I don't have sex with them. Knowing someone else had "their girl" makes them all kinds of snarky and accusatory.
On the other hand, if myself or a friend knew our guy was physically cheating, and we called them on it, they'd be all "but it didn't mean anything, it was just a f*ck"
So, yeah, I am confused as to what guys really think, because in my life, it comes off as 'you can romance who you want as long as you only boink me, but I can boink who I want if I only say "I love you" to you"
Personally, I think physical is worse because it puts my health in danger as well as my heart. Because I'm a girl and finding out he's cheating with his heart or his penis is going to make me very very sad.
While I do understand the difference between physical urges and emotional urges, I believe there is very little difference between physical and emotional cheating. In order to physically cheat on someone, mentally and emotionally you aren't committed to your SO. Same goes for emotional cheating because it would be impossible to cheat emotionally if you physically stopped seeing or talking to the other person. So in my opinion, all cheating is both emotional and physical. We're all self-aware. If you have someone you love and care about, you would make sure that what you do in your life shows that you respect and appreciate them. For me, what would be disappointing is knowing that my SO didn't care enough about me to restrain himself in either instance.
Emotionally cheating is no doubt worst. I can handle physical cheating, but please, don't deceive me and make me think that I'm your only one when you have fallen in love with someone else and all I get is empty words and a physical body by my side.
I agree, it's not that they slept with someone, it's the deceit and lies they gave the person that trusted them. No one likes to feel like they were a fool for trusting someone. Anyone who would purposely lie to their significant other doesn't love them anyway.
Cheating is an awful thing to do to someone. If you make a mistake come clean about it as soon as possible and maybe by being honest you save the relationship instead of just keeping it a secret and pretending nothing happened or worse, continuously doing it thinking you can get away with it.
Emotional cheating is just as bad, especially if you're craving for the person you love to give you the quality time and attention you need and find out he/she has been doing it with someone else instead and just keeping you around for what? Back up?
Emotional and physical cheating both deal with manipulation when they try to hide it and it makes both equally bad.
It's whatever you want it to be. Not really much purpose in arguing something like this. If you're a girl you're likely going to say emotional; if you're a guy, you're likely going to say physical - so says psychology.
Personally, I think emotional cheating hurts worse.
i would actually prefered being cheated physically than emotionally (although I would prefer not to be cheated on at all)
but i find emotions are more private than physical. physical, they can always say , a hole is hole, it didn't mean anything.
but i find the moment, you invest your feelings in it, its another game. the moment you are trying to find excuses for yourself, its already out of the line.
@mtk101@xanga - I wouldn't necessarily say cheating always involves deceit. People have physically cheated after a night of heavy drinking and then confessed to their SO the next day, and people have also started having romantic feelings for other people while in a relationship and confessed it to their SO once they realized it was happening.
@LightBlue21@xanga - That is a good point. It's so very easy to accidentally over drink one night with the guys and lose control of your physical actions and start flirting with some random woman. At this point I would say it was a mere physical cheat as long as you confess.
I would rather deal with that than if I where in a relationship with someone who grows feelings for another and not do anything about it and allow it to get in the way with the current relationship with me. So I change my answer to emotional. It is the only once that can be avoidable.(If you're mature enough lol)
Basically if either is committed I would dump his ass!!! HA HA!
Cheating is cheating to me. I define it as "anything that takes away from your relationship". If you're my boyfriend & you're attaching yourself emotionally to another girl, it affects our relationship just as much as you physically doing something with her. I try not to belittle one form of cheating over another but emotional cheating is harder to get over. You dont have to be next to the other person to be cheating on your SO. If you're so occupied with the other person in your mind that you cant focus on your relationship, it's just as bad.