Wednesday, 14 December 2011

• My Sexy, Surprising Break Up

  

  I had not been seeing my girlfriend all that much lately, the Occupy movement was coming between us a lot.  I'm in favor of it too, but she wanted to camp, and get kicked out, then camp, and get kicked out, and she wanted to stand off with the cops.  Things were getting ugly so I started staying home more.  Not that I'm a coward, of course gingers are feisty and not cowards.  I just took a break, and days turned into weeks and then months. 

  To tell the truth, the relationship had gotten a little bed bed dead anyway, not on account of me, but because she wasn't interested in sex that often—bed dead.  I was already falling out of love.  But a couple nights ago she called me.  She asked to come over so I said sure.  I didn't know what she was going to say, or if she was going to continue acting just like things were normal, but I kind of put her stuff in a box.  I thought we were going to have a mutual break up.

  She came in with wine and flowers, and she cooked an amazing romantic dinner with candles.  She said she had some special oils she wanted to try out on me, so I was really up for that, down for that, all in and around for that, giggles.  See maybe this makes me sound shallow, but I would consider reviving the relationship if the sex came back.  Sure enough, what happened after that was that we went to my bedroom. And then she put on some Enigma and slowly did a strip, which she has never done before, and she was looking hot! 

  
  

  As it turned out, we had the absolute best sex we have ever had ever, maybe the best sex I ever had ever, even!  But after all that happened I was really glad she didn't seem to have noticed that I put all her stuff in a box.  I was laying there trying to figure out how to go and put her stuff back, plus trying to get up the energy to move.

  But I had no energy, I was like a limp dishrag and before I could even worry about that anymore, suddenly she gets up and starts getting dressed!  Like some boy who only wanted you for sex!  So I said, "What are you doing?  And then, without even looking right at me, she told me that she had found out that I had been talking about bringing boys into my sex life.  Well she could have only found that out on Xanga, and I didn't think she ever came on Xanga anymore, especially since the Occupy thing started!  She was never that into Xanga anyway, I thought she'd probably never come back here.  And, I didn't notice her footprints or anything, but I was busted.

  So I just looked at her, I seriously felt too weak to get up and run after her, my arms and legs were like jello, I almost felt like I couldn't move.  You know how you get sometimes when you get too stoned?  Only there was zero paranoia, it was like I'd been hypnotized into docile submission and move-less relaxation.  But she was leaving me, breaking up, and she was acting kind of stern and actually, not very nice!  I noticed that she found her box easily when she went to get her stuff, but she didn't say anything about it being in a box.

  She wasn't looking at me anyway, but I said, "OK, if that's what you want." (that's what I always say when a girl wants to break up) I mean, in my weakened state I hardly even had a brain left.  But I was also thinking to myself, Really?  You're breaking up with me after that? But then I realized that had been her plan all along.  I don't know if she did it that way to try to hurt me, or if she was wanting to leave me wanting more, or if she wanted to leave me feeling bad, like, "I lost the best thing I ever had", or just to give me good memories about her, or to try to make me always wonder if she might have been the one.  Exactly what her motive was for doing it that way I'll probably never know.  I know this much, it wasn't because she was just horny, or that we just got carried away in breakup sex, it was way more planned out!

  And you know what else about her?  She's exactly the kind of girl that I will never see again.  I never knew where she was half the time anyway.  She's exactly the kind of girl to disappear forever.  I just feel a little bad that I didn't even say goodbye or try to do or say anything, I was just too completely drained!  But now she's gone, and I know it's final, and it was a whirlwind.  I really didn't even get to see her walking away. Believe it or not, I fell asleep for a long time.

  I guess there are worse ways to be broken up with though. But if she wants to play a game I have a song for her, a sexy song, and if she doesn't want me anymore, that is just beyond fine with me, I will go after that girl, sexy-dancing-flute-playing girl, and for the sexy girl dancing and singing beside her.  Those girls are both sizzling hot, I would like to have a threesome with them if I ever had a threesome.  They are so cute and tiny!

  But here's one other thing. Maybe I'll stay away from redheads for a while, they might be a little cunning.
  

  Have you ever had a crazy break-up?  What's your story?
  

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