We've all heard the phrase "sex sells" right? It's obviously and apparently true as far as marketing and advertising go. But does sex sell you?
I'm not a virgin but I always wondered about if I still were. I think that sex really does change everything. It certainly has changed relationships for me from when I was a teenager to now. I feel like you need to know if you have sexual chemistry with someone. While I probably could have picked a better person to lose my virginity to, I certainly don't regret losing it. I don't know how I would feel about marrying the first and last person I would ever sleep with. I'm glad I got to explore and learn and know what I like.
So my question is ..
what if you were dating someone you really liked and the sex was bad? Is that a deal breaker for you? Or how about if sex was great and then turned bad..is that an indicator that things are bad in your relationship and in turn, your cue to depart from the relationship? For the guys, do you prefer a virgin? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
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I lost my virginity to the one and only love of my life and I don't regret it. I also don't regret not having a whole lot of experience at least I havent had many partners, I have experience out of a 12 year marriage but have never been with someone else and I really don't regret it.
Sex and love are two different things, love is pure, beautiful, soul to soul conection, Sex is just a lot fun
and can be heavenly amazing if it's with the one you love.
I know I'm corny
To answer the first question, no. Bad sex can always get better, as long as the relationship is good in other areas.
As for the second question, yes. If the sex is good at the start of the relationship and then gets bad, that's a sign something's wrong. Maybe it can be fixed, maybe not, but it definitely means the chemistry is gone.
And on the third one, I've never been with a virgin, but I would definitely like to.
Ehh I'm pretty easy to really satisfy so I haven't really had any problems. I've noticed a few kinks and whatnot before, but I smoothed them out just fine by communicating. :] I really can only imagine myself not liking sex if the guy was really insecure, not confident, and didn't play the stereotypical "man" role during sex. I'm a little shy in bed and sometimes insecure about my body but I like my man to be confident about himself so he can do the directing. :]
I guess I have one demand when it comes to sex: the guy can't want to be the more lazy or submissive one. This guy didn't particularly like being on top when we were kissing because he had to exert more effort. -__- Really?? He also didn't really like being even slightly dominant, just painfully neutral. I ended up being on top of him while we were kissing for 80% of the time; the other 20% of the time we were kissing side-to-side because he was too lazy to move. DEALBREAKER.
I have only had intercourse with one person, and I don't regret that part one bit. I waited to make sure I loved and trusted the person, and I did and still do. We have a very serious relationship, and marriage is forseeable for both of us. Now, of course if this happened that would mean I would only had sex with one person my whole life. I never saw myself really fitting into that category (I'm actually usually a very sexual person), but I know the relationship I have with my boyfriend is 1000xxxx more rare than good sex.
And, admittedly, even though I'm attracted to him physically, even though I love him more than I thought I could love anyone, the sex hasn't been great and hasn't been that way for a long time. This isn't soley his fault, I have a condition called vagmisis (it's when a woman's muscles contract involuntarily during intercourse making it painful) and have yet to be treated for it. Along with that I have a very difficult time getting turned on, which I believe has to do with my birth control.
Even if all of this can get fixed, I have no guarantee the sex will turn into what I want it to be. And again, I state that I'm usually a very sexual person. Even if the sex never turns into what I want it to be, I know by my heart I would still marry him. Not because it's the "right" thing to do, but because I can't imagine not being with him.
You bet your ass. You can't have a strong, fulfilling relationship if the sex isn't satisfying.
If I was dating someone and the sex was bad, I wouldn't say it would be a dealbreaker. It takes time to learn what each other likes in the bedroom. I've only ever slept with my husband. To be honest, he's really not that great in bed. I used to love to have sex, but now I can't seem to get turned on. I really blame the birth control, because the nose dive in my sex drive happened when I switched to this birth control. I think if the sex was great and then went bad, it could be an indicator that something is going on. Maybe the romance and passion needs to be rekindled? And I'm not a guy, but my husband likes that I was a virgin. And I would prefer to have a man that was a virgin.
I've only ever had sex with one person, and that would be my husband. And I don't regret that one damn little bit.
I personally hate virgins. Ok not hate, but I would never prefer a virgin just because she's a virgin. I'd have to be in love with her to want to be that guy who takes her virginity and deal with all the complications that come with her being one.
Bad sex wouldn't be a deal breaker again based on how much I love her. Also I've had a relation where the sex went from good to bad. Usually if you figure it out and work at it it can become awesome again, you just can't give up once things go south a bit. If the go south, stay south and never get any better then yeah ok give up and move on heh.
It's more of a question of whether or not the sex stays bad.Sex can generally be taught but if the problem ends up being that he is too insecure or he is overly judgmental about what I like in bed then that is a deal breaker because those things end up affecting the rest of the relationship. Plus I can't have sex with someone unless I have a great connection with them. Even if they're hot if I am not really attracted to their personality then good sex is just not possible with them no matter how hard they try. It's all interconnected so under certain circumstances, yes, it can be a deal breaker.
If I didn't look forward to the sex and feel myself getting turned on by the possibility of it then that would be a problem. Issues with positioning and technique are fixable, interest..not so much.
Losing my virginity was messy and pretty much was a crappy experience for the (also virgin) guy. I don't know why a guy would want to have sex with a virgin unless they have some complex about "taking away" a girl's purity. But I realize not all girls cry and bleed all over the bed...
Anyway, bad sex isn't a deal breaker. It just requires a lot more communication and patience and work. I have my own issues of not being sexually attracted to any guys who aren't brown (Arab, Indian, ect). That being said, good sex, which I've only had with my 3rd and most recent partner (the most gorgeous Indian guy I have ever met UGH), definitely fucks with the head. It makes getting over the guy a bajillion times harder. Sometimes I think about opening up the emotional wound and booty calling him to just have another round of awesome sex.
I really miss sex.
I totally agree with you, I don't know how I would feel about losing my virginity to the person I marry. I think I could have lost my virginity to someone better, but again, I don't regret it either. The sex in the amazing relationship I'm in right now is incredible. The sex was always good, but the closer and more invested we both became in the relationship the better and better the sex got. I think this is become you increasingly become more comfortable with that person and you both care about satisfying each other. Sex is a big deal, great sex, great relationship ;)
I still haven't found anyone worth losing my virginity to.
hands down, i'd never date a virgin. i'm not interested in being anyone's "first."
My last ex...she was great at everything...except sex... Please don't let it be a deal breaker. She was willing to learn to willing to please. After all that's said and done, she was the only one I would ever want to share that intimate moment with. Don't let sex be the drive for you.
She is my best after time...
Let me be the one to acknowledge that my "magical number" is in the triple digits. Nothing that I'm proud about or would like to brag about. But it was this this one last ex that made me feel the true meaning of "making love."
/soap box
given the sexual promiscuity of our generation, i would say sex is very important in relationships.
unfortunately.
I completely regret having sex, because now that's all I can think about now. and I know i can't date someone who can't satisfy me sexually, and my sex drive also gets me into a lot of trouble since I am single...
i think if i liked them it'd be impossible for it to be bad... for me i can ALWAYS tell.... you just know, if you're like minded and on the same page- everything will be good- period
and if things kind of turn "not as good" to me that means your hearts not in it the way it used to be so i guess you guys could either figure it out and come together again or peace.
Life is too short to keep having bad sex.
Now that I know that I can have sex without the evil, I would never put my body through that pain again. Nobody is worth it.
And no, if the sex gets worse, it means you need to work on other parts of the relationship too. Not leave without trying.
Why do guys only get the option of having a virgin?
I would still stay with someone if the sex was bad... You can fix sex, but you can't fix a PERSON whose good at sex. Person > the sex. I can deal with mediocre sex if the relationship is good. Heck, I can deal with no sex for awhile if necessary (like right now with the distance thing I'm doing!), though I wouldn't want that for the rest of my life... i.e., when I get married (that was the original plan anyway - wait until I got married. Didn't happen, but I am still capable of holding off for awhile).
If the sex was good and turned bad, I would say there is probably an issue with the relationship, but if you both work to fix it, I don't see why that would have to end the relationship.
deal breaker..
I mean ill give it 2 or 3 chances to get out of that possible awkwardness....
but ive had amazing sex the 1st time so if it sucks completely the 1st time.. bad sign..
Ack. Me and my husbands sex life has been extremely fantastic for most of the time. I was going through alot and he just wasnt there for me how I needed him to be and it really affected our sex life. 3 years into our relationship. Im going to say for about 6 months I did not want to have sex with him at all. I resented him so much I could not enjoy sex with him. So yeah, If there is problems in the relationship I think it def affects the sex. My husband didnt care about virginity and I always hated the idea of taking a guys. I did once, but he tricked me and I still hate that it happened.
Bad sex is a deal breaker for a new relationship though.
Bad sex can be made better with practice...
Haha I want to break a virgin one day!! :pBad sex in the relationship wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I do have sex early on and I find that if I'm not sexually attracted, then often the person becomes "friend zoned" and just becomes a super good friend with whom I have an excellent relationship. I can work on making the sex better with that person if we both really want to, but generally I feel that bad sex is only from people who really don't click. I've had "not good sex" but rarely have I ever deemed sex "bad".
If the sex was good and then went bad, oh yes something is wrong. I would want to know if it was him, me, both, or what.
As for the virgin thing... Nofuckingthanks. I lost my virginity to a virgin so that was great, we "grew" together for 2 years before our messy break up (he was a cheater big time apparently). When I was 21 I also took the virginity of a 19 year old, but I had NO idea he was a virgin and even during sex it was great and I had no idea until he confessed weeks later. I would not have slept with him if I'd known he was a virgin. I do not like the idea of being someone's "first" and having to teach them or bring them along. I know what I like, and I like my partners to know what they like. I don't want to deal with nervous people or insecure people, as I'm very sexual and very confident.
The guy I've been seeing for the past 2 months is perfect for me. We are both sexual people, but extremely faithful. We are confident, know what we like, have quickly learned what the other likes, and are open to discuss/experiment. We have amaazzzzzzzing sex.