Tuesday, 13 December 2011
We've all had to deal with these couples, or had to be a part of one of them at some point in our lives. They made us question why anyone would want to subject themselves to relationship torture and also reminded us of why being single in college was so awesome. As much as we love to generalize our friends into one of these couples, we have all fallen victim to at least one of them.
The "Attached at the Hip" Couple
This couple, as you have guessed, can never be found apart. They are together 24/7 and everyone knows it. This is such a well known fact that if you call one of them and they don’t pick up, you know you can call the other one because they’ll always be together. If you do this enough times, the one you don’t actually have any intention of talking to will get the hint and immediately give the phone to his/her SO even before picking up the call. This is the couple at a party that are always together. They are like Siamese twins—a package deal. Don’t even bother going up to them to start a conversation because you’ll get stuck having to talk to both of them. They walk around the party together, play beerpong together, and even go to the bathroom together. ‘Attached at the Hip Couple’, when was the last time you did anything by yourself?
The "Closet" Couple
There are two types of "Closet" couples. The first will be one of your buddies that you hang out with all the time, but you have no idea he has a girlfriend. He will casually slip it into a conversation months later.
Buddy: Hey, I can’t go out tonight. I have to hang out with the girlfriend.
You: You're missing out, man! Jenna's gonna be there and shes bringing her cute roo—wait... you have a girlfriend?
The second type of closet couple is pretty much the opposite of the 'Attached at the Hip' couple. You will never see them within 20 feet of each other at a party and, for whatever reason, they always give off that, "I'm single" vibe. You don't know if they just broke up, had a fight, or if they have some sort of hippie free-love arrangement going on. You're questions are answered when the only time they interact is to leave the party together, and boy are they in a hurry.
The "On Again-Off Again" Couple
You break up every other hour. Go away.
The "I Need Advice" Couple
For your information, a couple consists of two people. Contrary to what you may have thought, it DOES NOT include me or any of your other friends. Stop asking us for advice and asking questions to which you already know the answers to, “Yes, he’s a jerk.” and “Yes, she’s annoying.” Does that help?
The "Jealous" Couple
This couple will have you wondering why they are together in the first place. They constantly go through each other's phones, recent calls, text messages, Facebook accounts, and E-mails. Then they will argue about things they shouldn’t have been looking at in the first place. They will interrogate each other's friends about what the other did last night, then cross reference the stories in an attempt to catch them in a lie. 'Jealous Couple', you two are crazy. And perfect for each other.
The "PDA" Couple
Ten minute car ride, train, couch, sidewalk, or supermarket—This couple cannot keep their hands off of each other to the point where it down right makes everyone uncomfortable. You live in the moment and for that I commend you. However, there is a time and place for these things. Have some patience and wait until the two of you have some privacy. 'PDA Couple', could you please pass me that barf bag?
Which one of these types of couples would your friends most likely categorize your relationship? What other couple "types" have you encountered?