Monday, 12 December 2011
I am fairly certain that I am one of a dying breed, a relationship dinosaur if you will. That’s because I still have not ever gone out with someone from online. This puts me in a category with the likes of old people, dead people, obnoxious stuck up people who have stigmatized online dating for no reason, and people with severe diagnosable social disorders.
I do have an OkCupid profile, but I respond to only about one of every twenty messages I get, and I’ve never initiated sending a message to anyone. That sounds stuck up, but trust me, if I posted some of the messages I’ve received, you’d understand. (Once I got a message that said, “Hello earthling, would you say you’re a creature of recreation or procreation?”) But even the few guys that do seem semi-interesting, I never end up meeting in person.
The truth is, it’s me. Between couch surfing and moving seven times in the past year in Manhattan, my job, going out with friends and family, and any hobbies I myself might want to do, I feel I hardly have time to breathe. Seeing as I can barely manage to fix myself a meal that’s not Reese’s Puffs, at this point I think it’s safe to say that I wouldn’t make a good girlfriend right now.
The reason I signed up for an online profile in the first place was because I felt too busy to go out and find someone in person. But even getting coffee with a guy from online feels like too much of a hassle for me. A guy friend criticized me for this, because there was one guy who seemed funny, attractive, and compatible with me, that I eventually turned down for a date. He said, “So this guy seemed perfect in every way, you had great back and forth messaging, and he asked you to coffee, you’d say no?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Well what the hell chance does anyone have with anyone if that’s true for people on that site? That guy probably feels bad that you’re rejecting him even though nothing’s wrong with him.”
He had a good point. But as I said, it has nothing to do with these men. It’s me. I haven’t deleted my OkCupid because I do want to find someone, and I would find time for the right guy in my life if he came along. For some reason though I just feel way too lethargic to go for it, and so I am going about it the only logical way: hoping the perfect man just falls into my lap with no effort on my part whatsoever.
Should you force yourself to date even if you’re too busy for it? Should you ever close yourself completely off from dates, romance, and relationships?