We all hold on to these things much longer than is logical, but we just can't get ourselves to throw them out. It's the box hidden away in some closet or under your bed that you look at only when you stumble upon it by accident. You ponder whether or not you should throw it out, until you get a headache and end up putting it back where you found it. Letters, gifts, scrapbooks, and stuffed animals all there to remind you of something special that existed once in your past.
There's something about these physical items that is so much more meaningful than e-mails, IM's, and texts. To see someone's handwriting, artwork, or to hold an actual photograph feels as if you've captured the essence of that person in that moment. I once threw out a box filled with hundreds of handwritten letters from one of my exes and regret it to this day. Maybe that's why I hold onto everything now.
I don't keep these things just to reminisce about this other person that was once the most important thing to me. Oddly enough, I keep them because it reminds me of what kind of person I used to be. It helps me remember who I was and where I've been.
Sometimes we forget who we are. Our own memories will fail us as time continues to roll by, so this window into the past is the most honest way to remember who we were to someone else. What kind of boyfriend was I when I was 15? 18? 20? 22?
So I keep these letters now, these scrapbooks that happen to be exactly the same (apparently you all shop at the same arts and crafts store), these pictures, these little doodles you ripped out of your spiral notebook, and the story you wrote of "How we fell in love", because now I know who I am and who I want to be for the next person I share a moment in time with.
Do you have an "Ex Box"? Why do you keep it?
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Comments (61)
I keep things from ex's (specifically notes and letters from my first boyfriend) so I will always remember what I've been through and how to not get myself stuck into similar situations.
I still have some things from my second boyfriend, but those are all material things, which don't mean as much, so I keep them because there's no reason not to...there isn't any connection with a Darth Vader bobblehead or a Domo Kun plushie... lolYeah, I do have a box tucked in the closet with items from my exes....I was actually thinking about having an ex bf garage sale this past summer as well, but I think you're right. There is something to be said about having these items - items that haven't changed at all while the people who gave and received them, have.
I have a box of stuff from college. Pics, ticket stubs, posters that were on my walls...a journal with some embarassing stuff in it.
I have an ex box and although I'm completely over him, I still find myself getting extremely emotional when I go through it. You're right.. It does help to remind you who you were, how far you've come and where you want to be. It's nice to remember how much you meant to someone- or in some cases still do. I can't see myself getting rid of it.. Maybe if I get married? Time will tell.
Nope. I throw it all away. The only things I think are okay to keep are gifts. For instance my Oyster Boy book figurines... have nothing to do with my ex except that he gave them to me. =) But love letters and things like that... useless to me.
i keep all kinds of things. same reason i keep a diary. or a xanga. idk. i like to just look back sometimes, and keep track of my life.
It's like a box of love! I love that box! I have one place where I store lots of old gifts and letters given and sent to me, but some other things are just kind of around. I would never get rid of them.
yup. have an ex box from my last and longest relationship.
i dont really have a habit of keeping stuff from the ex-es thou.
i either give things back or i throw them away.
I'm very nostalgic so I could never throw stuff like that away, especially letters. Thankfully I don't have too much though.
I would never keep that shit, unless it's something that serves a purpose. For example, if I had an ex that got me something like an iPod, tv, car, nice clothes, etc. then I would definitely keep them or sell them.
ha, my ex gave me one physical present which was a necklace that I cut and burnt into pieces. Sounds mean, but at that moment, I was extremely upset and wanted nothing to do with it. Do I regret it today? Not at all. On the other hand, I gave my ex several small, handmade gifts b/c I wanted him to keep feel horrible when we broke up. When looking at those gifts to discard it, the rush of nostalgia and loneliness would serve him well for the crap he put me through. Perhaps he never felt any of those feelings since he never a heart to begin with.
Yeah...the only things I have left are stuffed animals, because I never throw those away XD As for letters and such...Trashed most and burned the rest. Regrets? Nope. I found that no matter how much time had passed, reading through them would always make me angry because I would remember the situations I had put myself through for them thinking it was for love. I did keep letters and drawings from my last ex though, because the break up was mutual and we are still friends.
When I think about it.... I only got some stuffed animals from two different boyfriends (my first two that I dated). I still have them. The ones I got from my first boyfriend are packed away. My other one is on my bed that I still use. I almost always forget that the one on my bed was given by an ex.
I haven't gotten a lot of gifts period from anyone. Out of the presents I have gotten, they've been either candy, flowers (I got two stems of flowers from two different boyfriends) or dinner/movie. I don't keep stubs mainly because that's not my thing. It would be nice to get some love letters, though.
When I was younger I kept things. I even held onto some through my first marriage.
Now? Burned and forgotten, along with any remnants of my first marriage. When you actually HAVE love, there's no need to hold onto the past or reflect upon it.
I used to have these fan signs that a past guy took for me on his webcam, but my old computer crashed and I lost all of it. oh well. I have a new guy, who is my present biggest fan
The only thing that my ex ever gave me was a teddy bear. Said teddy bear (Sir Very Berry Flufferkins, if you must know) was brutally attacked with a box cutter before I went to college, and the few scraps and bits of fluff lefts were burned.So I suppose the answer is no. I don't have an ex box (: I also burned the letter he sent me trying to get me back.....in which he spelt my name wrong. Ouch.
I feel the exact same way. I also keep it just because I hate throwing things out of what was once special in my life. When I get a new gf... then I may consider throwing it all away if the person asked. Otherwise, it'll be forever kept in the deepest, darkest corner and never to be found.
Well, I have a box with the stuff from my first ex. The letters from my recent ex I mailed back to him, as well as a football jersey he gave me. I couldn't have those things lying around; it was too painful.
Had a box filled with my ex's stuff. Poured lighter fluid on it and threw a lit match at it.
Best decision of my life.
I throw mine away. I haven't considered what to do with it yet. I wanna burn mine and roast marshmallows with it. The alternative is to throw it out with my trash. Still deciding.
i keep only a photograph and a letter she hand wrote to me and gave to me as a gift on commencement.
i've tried to get myself to burn them, but for some reason, i always feel like i'll regret it.
I kept that to remind me the hard lessons. And how stupid I was.
The box is still in my basement somewhere. I've never opened it up since I put it there years ago. I guess we'll have to wait and see what I do with it.
Went up in flames! :P
Yup, I have a box too. It sure reminds me of who I use to be and how I've come all this way to where I am right now. Every time I look in the box, it makes me smile and reminds me how innocent I was. It brings back such happy memories and sorrow memories, but now obviously the pains long gone and only happy memories remain. Those memories that I cherish the most and never forgotten. Memories that gives me hope and faith, what keeps me going and what keeps me sane. I would never replace my past, I never regret. If I can, I would live in the past, because it's only the time when it's pure and real and true, not only to others but to myself.
Unlike right now, this cruel reality, everything around you makes you wonder if it's real or not. I question others and I question myself. Sometimes, I don't even know who I am anymore. Can't figure out what I'm feeling anymore, sadness? happiness? I don't even know anymore. It seems like if I lost myself, having no feelings.