There was a point in my life where I was very single and looking for love in all the wrong places. Has anyone else been there? I wouldn't say I was desperate but I didn't want to be single anymore. I would have settled for something casual or a full on relationship as long as I wasn't s-i-n-g-l-e. It just so happened that during one of these "who-can-my-next-conquest-be moments, I stumbled upon my sister's fiancee's brother.
Needless to say, it was probably not the brightest of ideas. My sister certainly didn't want anything to do with it because she didn't want to get in the middle in case my feelings were to get hurt. My future brother-in-law was cool with it to a degree. I was on a mission. I even had this idea in my head that my sister and I would have the same last name forever! (Crazy ..I know) He is and was very attractive and single-like myself. We texted, hung out (in a group and out) and I could never figure out if he was just being nice due to the circumstance or he actually liked me. I must admit though, the times that we did hang out alone, it was very awkward. I felt like the pushy, more aggressive one- and that's not the look I was going for. It didn't help that he was and is extremely shy.
We never ended up hooking up (Thank God!) but we had and still have this weird "friendship" I guess - if you want to call it that. I still find him attractive but I believe that God works in mysterious ways. Things didn't happen for a reason. To you guys, that reason may be obvious but also it brought me to my boyfriend now who I'm extremely happy and in love with.
So I have to ask ..
have you guys had a similar experience? When or how do you know when to draw the line in terms of how "close" you are to someone? Brother/sister-in-law's..best friends..best friend's siblings? If you have had a similar experience, was it awkward after or did it work to your benefit? Hope you had better luck than I did!
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Comments (20)
Rule of thumb in America is THREE FEET. Wait, what?
Yeah, but you get over the awkwardness pretty fast.
It's worse when you date a guy, and things don't work out, you're stuck with the same friends.
I've had many of these moments. I almost, just missed it by a hair, get into an exclusive relationship with someone, but I get the Jiminy Cricket poke and end it before it goes any farther, Thank God.
No no don't go looking for relationships when you're not content with yourself first! Two happy people make the best couples. :]
I had a friend I was really close to as a teenager... other friends attempted to push us over that edge... it did not turn out so well, and I pretty much lost one of my best friends. He and I worked things out later, but it's still awkward around him.
@CaptSharkey@xanga - Lol, story of my life.
never had this experience
I have gone where no sane person should ever have gone, so embarrassingly stupid that I won't even tell you here.
There is this old saying "don't crap where you eat", and since most dating forays crap out pretty quickly I think the only time to push this particular envelope is if you have really truly gotten to know the person and have every honest reason to believe it is meant to be. Hormones have so often proven to be fickle friends.
@RulerofMasons@xanga - No it actually had nothing to do with popular girls but rather my own preference
i was like this during early highschool... as soon as i broke up with someone, there would be someone else to ask me out in a week or two and i would say yes. but you know high school, you go on a date or two and suddenly, to the world you're "going steady"! so i seemed always be "going steady" with someone... obviously it was a little sketch and desperate.
Interesting and thought provoking post. Can't relate personally but I suppose I would have to say a friend's relations would have to be off-limits.
@valeriebeth04@xanga - me either.
The only way that wouldn't have been awkward is if he had been equally enthusiastic in the direction that you were enthusiastic. Anything short of that was doomed to a state of perpetual awkward, but you know what? Tt was worth a shot! Stranger things have happend!
Interesting story! I don't have the issue you do about being in relationships, up until two months ago, I'd been single for 5 years and loooooovvvveeedddd iiitttt. I just got into my first relationship in years and I'm giving it a shot. But anyway, to address the question of "too close for comfort", I have never found that borderline. I am not the type to have boundaries anyway, so that could be it. I've been with brothers, best friends, my friend's exes, etc. But, to be clear, I didn't date any of those men, I was just either sleeping with them or casually having a fling of some sort - never dating and I knew nothing would ever come out of any of them. I do like to hear about other people's boundaries when dating though!
I couldn't do it. I don't have a sister, but I wouldn't be able to date her fiance's brother. Think about it, what if you had gotten together? And then had a really bad breakup? And then your sister gets married to her fiance, and you spend the rest of your life having to spend time around your ex at family gatherings/holidays/etc.
Why must dating be a awkward game of musical chairs?
I lost my virginity to the best man from my sisters wedding. Him and my sister are both like 6 years older than me. She has no idea, and thats one secret thats never coming out. She would be beyond irate.
I'd ASK it of him/her openly: how do u feel about our relationship? are we friends or more? should we BE more than just friends?
i'm very much against playing games. I think I am a nice guy but i HATE GAMES...
I was dumped brutally by my friend's ex. She gave me permission to date him but he turned out to be a douchebag. Two months later, I fell in love with my closest guy friend and we have never been happier!