Tuesday, 06 December 2011
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What Does He Want?
So I broke off a relationship of 6 years with my husband. It's been about 2 months now and he insists on talking to me like we were the best of friends but he cheated on me constantly throughout our marriage, always chose his friends over his family and it hadn't even been a month after we broke up before he was telling another girl that he loved her and made her his girlfriend.
He now claims that he realized he didn't want to be with this girl, and that he misses his family. He doesn't openly come out and say he wants us back together but he tries to be in my life as more than just co-parents. He wants to know what I'm up to and when he comes to pick up our son he constantly tells me that I look pretty and so on. I can't lie and say I don't love him, but I also can't deny that he has hurt me.
What exactly does he want from me?
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- From: GIGI
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Comments (37)
My guess is he wants to use you. This guy sounds like a major prick.
I'm pretty sure it's obvious what he wants. He fucked up and made a stupid decision because what he thought was love turned out to be nothing more than something different and exciting. When the "different and exciting" part lost its luster he realized what he'd done and he decided that he wanted you back.
If you want to make things work, go for it, but don't be surprised if you end up in this same predicament a year down the road. I understand that you love him, just make sure he understands that love doesn't equate to you being a doormat.
Just don't give in with the sex ... because then you'll just be on the side and continue what he's doing. Just don't let him get to you.
Doesn't matter what he wants, what matters is what YOU want.
he wants you now because he can't have you. men are weird like that.
Ignore the effing bastard.
Wow. Story of my life with my ex-husband minus the child. He took you for granted big time when you were by his side but now that you realized you deserve better, he miss you. That's it. He miss you bc he's not coming home to someone after he finish whatever he's doing. You're not there for him anymore to cook for him, clean for him, or just to be there. He don't want you. He don't love you. If he did, he wouldn't be doing any of that to you or your child. You and your child deserve better. Honey, move on and find a better man who will always be faithful to you. I sure found mines and I'm truly happy now! I don't always have to look or wonder what he's doing behind my back bc I trust him! Boys like that don't deserve us bc we deserve much more than they can offer us. I really hope you don't go back. You'll hurt, but you'll heal in time. You'll also have to think about your son as well. You don't want that type of person to be a role model to him even though he is the father of your child. It's never okay to cheat and get away with it. You need to set the example for him and be strong for the both of you.
he ants you to stay and continue to be a doormat.
If I had to take a guess, the girl left him after realizing he's pathetic because he is a cheater. Don't let him back in, you're only going to get even more hurt. It's difficult to deny what you love, but remember, you need to protect yourself, and your family. Do what is best for you and your family. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't give in because he's sucking up to you.
Clearly, he just can't handle being alone. Don't be the girl that he uses to keep him company.he had some appetizer skanks, but realizes that they don't satisfy him as much as the main course does, so he wants you back, because he's an ungrateful, greedy douchebag.
women act this way too. It's the perverse nature of humanity.
We want what we can't have and we don't want what is readily available.
Dear Datingish: No offense, but that was a horrible stock photo.
Surprising as it may sound, there are actually guys who can change, myself included. Sometimes we just have to lose her/him to get it there. And can't agree with the comment, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
It seems like he doesn't know what he wants. That's probably why he cheated and why he's going back to you. He also might be using you. People don't like being lonely. Perhaps he sees you as a last result when it doesn't work out with others. Don't give in to him. If you're hurt by what he did and he's just acting like he did nothing wrong, then the relationship is not worth fixing.
@heroohsofly@xanga - yeah, but why should she EVER trust him again? He made the ultimate commitment with marriage and still cheated on her, lied to her and threw it all back in her face.
@written_conversations@xanga - I'm one to admit that I was too that guy. In the end, it turned out be a healthy 9 year relationship after the first 2 years of infidelity. Granted we are no longer together but we did get engaged. We are on good terms now. We just fell out of love. She learned to trust me and I learned that cheaters will not always be cheaters. Perhaps I fall into that slim margin?
Same author as the blog about how to get over your husband?
This guy does not deserve your love or attention at all. Please just leave him behind. He took your for granted. And if you give in, you're just giving him your approval to take you for granted once more.
he seems regretful. i dont think you should go back. you just are still fresh, with time and when you start dating again you'll be able to find someone a lot more compatible, respectful and loving. i think you'll be a lot happier with whoever you meet in the future. also putting your son in that environment probably wasnt that great for him either. you can do a lot better, remember with a kid in the picture its not just about what you want. he deserves a better situation as well.
@Doitean@xanga - I want to bold this and make it super huge. He has not learned his lesson. Keep him out of YOUR personal life and only in your kids. STAY STRONG.
Wait until you get over the hurt of this process and you start dating someone new. He'll be in your face more than EVER just to attempt at keeping who he has lost over his constant douchebaggery. He misses his wife to come home to after he hung out with his friends or slept with some random girl that he LIED about loving. And now that you don't want to take his BULLSHIT and pretend that you're going to be okay, he has an epiphany! "omg, I have to clean up my action and hold on to her!" He wants to eat his cake and keep a piece safe to hold too...it's effing retarded.
Don't give in. He WAS your husband for six years and during six years, he wasn't always bad, but he wasn't very good to you or your child enough times to make it okay to be a stray dog.
He doesn't know what he wants, and - if you have any sense at all - you won't wait around for him to "figure it out".
@SlackerSociety@xanga - Yeah, kinda "Daddy/Daughter Secret Relationship" creepy...
I'm sorry, I know this is unrelated to the post but the picture you used reminds me of a father scolding a daughter- not ex's.
@mL4ever928@xanga - i didn't choose the picture the website automatically put it up..
@SlackerSociety@xanga - HA, right?! I was really confused. I thought this was going to be about a father and daughter fighting.