Sunday, 04 December 2011
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Things I Hate--Girls at the Gym
My boyfriend of five years is a personal trainer. He's been a trainer for about two and a half of those years and works at the flashy new gym near our hometown. I'm very happy for him. He loves what he does, and he is good at it. He knows the best ways to help all different types of clients. People who shop in the store where I work come in and tell me how wonderful he was at their last training session. It makes me feel proud. Honestly, it does.
However, there are a few clients of his that I cannot stand. I'm sure you've seen them on your trips to the gym. The young women who go to workout in the tightest pants they own, super-fitted cropped workout tops to show their abs, and their makeup done as if they were going to the club. I know they are going to workout and that they want to stay fit. I just don't like the fact that he trains them.
I feel as though I don't compare. I'm not super tall or super skinny. I don't look at put together as they do when I go anywhere, much less the gym. I don't enjoy working out as much as they do. I worry every day that he has one of these clients that she will flip a switch in him to make him want her instead of me, simply for the fact that they are more in tune with their fitness goals and their fitness routines.
Recently, though, these girls from the gym are becoming more than girls from the gym. They post all over his Facebook with comments about how sore they are, calling him a "jerk" or an "ass" with a winky face [ ;P ] after their workouts. It makes me want to march right down to the gym and knock them over the head with the heaviest dumbbell I can find in the place.
Listen, chick, you're going to the gym because you want to workout. You aren't going there to make friends with my boyfriend. Of if you are, you're sorely mistaken. Back the eff off!
Now, I've tried talking to him about this. He tells me I have nothing to worry about, that I need to stop being so insecure. But I can't. Because for every girl who isn't at the gym to steal herself a man, there is one who is. Let's be real. Do serious athletes need to get themselves all dolled up to workout? I don't think so.
These bee-yotches seriously motivate me to go to gym for two reasons: I need to get in better shape than them so that they look insignificant compared to me and to make sure they aren't on the prowl for my man. Well, at least it's motivation.
For real, though, am I wrong for feeling this way about these girls? Or is it normal?
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- From: afadedphotox@xanga
- Name: Lauren
- About Me: "Simplify, simplify."
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Comments (124)
Well I mean there are plenty of girls who get dolled up for the gym. But there are plenty of guys all oiled up and grunting as well, wearing tight shirts to show off their pecks etc... Just as any public place single (and some taken) people are on the prowl. I understand your worries but if your boyfriend is trustworthy then I wouldn't take it to heart so much.
It sounds to me like you have trust issues. It's one thing to question these girls' motives; but it sounds to me like you're questioning your boyfriend's fidelity. Of course, if he
wouldleave you for one of these girls, do you really want to be with him?
I go to the gym with my makeup all done up because I go to the gym AFTER work. ... :[
But I completely understand your concerns. The facebook comments would bother the hell out of me, they just seem inappropriate. They have a business relationship, leave it at the business. Whateverrrr!
lol. when i saw the title of this article, i thought it was a guy complaining about how he isn't very strong, so he's self-conscious at the gym around all the guys who are super jacked (and therefore grabbing all the female attention). cause i can totally identify with that.
anyway. yeah, it's totally normal for you to flip the shit over some skank who writes on his facebook wall. because it makes absolutely NO sense that an attractive guy who is in great shape would ever get female attention from anyone but you, right?
get over yourself, sweetheart. if he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat whether you're bitching about his wall or not.
oh, and one more thing. use whatever motivation you need to go to the gym. cause we have enough fatfucks in this country jacking up my health insurance costs. don't add yourself to that number :(
Those girls wear make up to the gym because THEY are insecure. Otherwise they would be able to forget the make up because they are going there to work out.
I agree in that you either trust your bf or you don't. There are always going to be girls flirting with him, especially in his line of work. Facebook is a horrible reason to start questioning things.
why is your man friends with his clients on facebook?
I understand your jealously but there's really nothing you can do but to let it not get to you. Your boyfriend is going to continue to have contact with these girls at the gym, so either you're going to learn how to accept it or you're going to just keep feeling shitty about it.
To make things easier you should try reading his Facebook comments less often or not at all. There will always be women who dress skanky in public, there's no way around it. Try learning to love your body and project that onto to him. I know it's not easy, good luckI think it's normal for you to feel this way but in regards to how the girls are now more than 'girls from the gym', the relationship between a trainer and their client should be personal.For instance, I am friends with a previous coach's wife and daughter.
yes, I believe that he should be off limit in facebook with his clients. but I believe that there's a reason why he is with you, is that he loves you for your quality beyond the makeups, tight workout clothes that the other girls are wearing. Believe me, if a man loves you, nothing can take him away, but if he doesn't love you, nothing can make him stay.
It's his job, he can't really change the fact that his clients are women wearing crop tops, tight yoga pants, and caked make-up. That's something out of his hand to control. I'm sure he doesn't have any interest in any of these girls; and he reassured you, what else do you want? For him to quit his job? That's unreasonable. It's like saying, I don't like men who walk into your retail store looking like this-and-that and don't talk to them. HOWEVER, it's YOUR JOB and you can't control who walks into your store. It goes the same for him.
If he was INTERESTED in any of these girls, he wouldn't be with you. And that part already proves that he wants to be with you, NOT THEM.
And if you worried that he'll cheat on you, well, I guess you just have to trust him because that's something you can't control. There's no point losing sleep over it.
You just got to overcome your insecurities. Let me just point it that there's a reason why he's with you and there's something you have that the other girls don't and you should be happy that you have that quality.
The facebook thing would bother me, they shouldn't be his friends on fb.
I like those girls.
Their perfume makes us forget the sweat and foot smell
Their beauty makes us forget the nasty sausage fest there.
Plus good lookin chicks help us do those few extra reps - motivation!
I've been to the gym in makeup before, but it's usually after work or school. Honestly, you're going to have to trust your boyfriend because the flirting isn't going to stop. Also, you can't call them intimidating like that with the same breath you say that they aren't serious athletes. I've flirted with trainers and coaches before, but at the end of the day it's just harmless flirtation. You work out, you flirt, you go home and forget about it.
And besides, the only person with the power to cheat on you is your boyfriend-not one of these girls.
"You aren't going there to make friends with my boyfriend."
... what? you are not your boyfriend's keeper, and he can be friends with whoever the Hell he wants to. God, i hate chicks like you. you're the reason why guys assume that all women are controlling and paranoid. it makes the rest of us who actually trust who we date look bad.
Lol sweets I reckon you're as normal as they come! What wouldn't be classed as normal is waiting in your car while watching them go into the gym for their training session, then, letting down their tyres, keying their car and sitting and waiting to see their expression upon returning to their vehicle haahahahaa!! Now that's not normal!!! But a little insecurity, a tiny bit of jelly-much, needing that extra 'stare into my eyes and kiss me' smooch before he heads into the gym, that's normal, and so is wanting to kick arse in the gym to prove to yourself 'damn straight, I'm fine!!' I believe anyway
Keep it rocking gurl, he's yours and no one elses.. peace x
He shouldn't be Facebook friends with any of his clients. And yeah, I hate girls in the gym who plaster on the makeup. They look like total idiots lol. But I don't like the gym. I like being outside, so I don't have to look at them :)
It is unprofessional for him to have outside connections with his clients, including Facebook.
This sounds so typical.
I do wonder why he accepts them as friends on facebook, that's kind of weird.
Anyway, I have been kind of "what the heck" at those girls who go to the gym with less than nothing on and walk on the treadmill at 1.5 ... why are they even there?
This would bother me, too. Does he have the power to choose which clients he could train?
I agree with everyone who says he shouldn't be their friends on facebook. If the relationship between him and his clients isn't anything more than professional, than why should they become a part of each others' personal life? By being facebook friends and opening communication outside of work, that is exactly what they're doing.
I work in a public setting as well...and I don't add anyone on facebook who comes in. Granted most of them are children, still... why give them the idea that you are more than their trainer or mentor (in my case) ?
I find this highly unprofessional and it would bother me quite a bit.
Any chance you're off on a day or time he's working? I'd stop in for a quick workout just to see for yourself what exactly the relationship consists of. Sure, some would think that's completely crazy and you should trust your man, but it seems like he's setting off red flags.
Seriously, I think you are overreacting because of your own insecurities. When it comes down to it, if you trust your bf 100%, no matter what any of these girls do, your bf will tell them to back off and you will have nothing to worry about - and your bf has proven that he can be trusted (at least in your post you didn't mention that he returned their flirtations or acted inappropriate with them). It's also okay to be friends with your trainer (aka your bf) as well. After all, you do see them a few times a week for x amount of time and that professional relationship can turn into friendship. They can flirt with him or write whatever they want to him, but it's how he choose to handle it that matters. There's a reason why he's with you and not them. If I were you, I'll just be flattered that they flirt and have a semi crush on your boyfriend. When your bf starts to respond and be inappropriate with them, that's when you should worry.
..and who really cares if others doll up and dress in their tightest or fitted outfits. I'm sure they want to show off what they worked hard for to gain. If I had a nice fitted bod, I wouldn't mind showing it off either.
Hahaha I couldnt agree more. I stuff my headphones in when i'm at the gym and I never say a word to anyone, unless they ask me to be a spotter then I will briefly.
But I must say though...I do wear somewhat revealing attire at the gym, mainly because it's like those performance shirts that wick the sweat off. I used to wear a t-shirt over that, but it just seemed counter intuitive to have a sweat reservoir on your back when the purpose of the shirt is to dissipate the sweat more quickly haha. I dont do it to attract people...
Good post though, I hate the creepers (guys and girls) that flock to a treadmill an attractive individual just got on.
ccmoki
@stocking_j@xanga - Girls who wears make up to the gym is insecure? Um, what?! Last I check, some people (like myself) like to look presentable even if we were going to the gym.
Your blinding insecurities are going to be the thing that drives your bf away from you, not the girls hitting on him at the gym.