My boyfriend has been getting more and more into his Xbox every day. Now I sound stupid complaining because he could be out cheating or doing other stupid things, but it's just getting ridiculous now. We live together and all he does is come home from work and play video games. He'll get into bed, give me a kiss and go to sleep. Is it so hard to ask for some attention?
I don't care if it makes me sound needy, I'm pretty sure he'd rather bang the Xbox at this point. He plays and beats game after game, and my boyfriend's not antisocial either, this is what I don't get!
What I wanna know is if it's wrong to be mad that he's playing so much Xbox and not paying attention to me.
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Try asking him to take you out somewhere. Or try getting his attention in bed. You can't expect him to just focus on you all the time if you don't even try to get his attention! A lot of great games come out this time of year, so most gamers end up getting a little more caught up in playing than they realize. Just try talking to him about it~
you should tell him first. i know how you feel and all it takes is simple communication. he probably thinks there's nothing wrong because you haven't said anything to him about it.
I like to do both, at the same time.
You have every right to be upset. I had a boyfriend who neglected me for his xbox and I just wanted some sex! Attention! anything. But nothing. Lol. I refuse to date someone like that again. My current boyfriend is into video games BUT he spends time with me when I am over. Also if he does game when i am there, it's together. =)
It's understandable that a person may want to play games sometimes but that sounds like an addiction problem...
my last bf did this to me, and I was constantly telling myself that this is just what you have to deal with if you date a gamer dude. After I got with my new bf, I realized that a guy can be a hardcore gamer and still be considerate of his gf. My bf plays videogames a lot, but he's also good at balancing that with giving me the attention I need.
Your bf might be a great guy, but giving tons of attention in a relationship might just not be how he rolls, and even if you got him to stop playing xbox, you still might not be satisfied with the level of attention he gives you. You might want to consider looking for another guy- there's no shame in needing more attention.If you have a serious problem with it, the best way to approach it is to confront him calmly and explain to him that you feel like you need a little more attention. Tell him that he's free to play x-box but that you would like for him to take out some time at the end of the day to spend some one-on-one time with you.
Also, don't approach him wanting attention and not know what kind attention you want. For example, don't say "UGH, won't you just HANG OUT with me!?" because then he's going to say "Sure, what do you wanna do?" and if you don't have an answer for that, then don't expect him to understand why you need him off the x-box if all you want him to do is sit bored in a room with you.
If you want him to pay attention to you, ask for it and make sure you make the time he spends with you worth while. Doesn't mean you have to plan anything elaborate, just make sure you're not asking him to sit and watch a lame tv show with you. Be appealing.
If he gets angry about it, then I'd say you make sure he knows that it's NOT an option. That if he choses the x-box over you then one day you might get sick of the lack of affection and attention. Don't threaten, just let him know.
Good luck.
By the way, BOYS don't know how to divide their attention properly. MEN understand that there is a time for games and a time for relationships. ;)
As someone who tends to form an addictive habit to videogames when I start playing a new one, and have had to deal with MMORPG addicts for boyfriends:
An addiction is an addiction. If someone is participating in something excessively to the point that it is hurting their relationships with people, then it's time for an intervention. And by that, I mean talk to him one on one if you haven't already, and tell him you are worried about his excessive gaming, and how it makes you feel when he chooses to play videogames excessively rather than spending time with you.
If you are willing, you could also suggest he makes you part of his gaming experience. You can play together (assuming he plays any games that allow another person to play, or online) and have some non-virtual rules. I would play fighters and give the guy a kiss every time I kicked his ass. You could sit and watch him if he agrees not to totally zone you out and let you be a backseat gamer.
It's tough because he probably going to get really defensive because he probably won't see the harm and think you are being needy and whiny. But if he totally ignores your feelings, probably not a keeper.
@kev1nccho1@xanga - that is some impressive multitasking
@ShirleyD@xanga - Sounds like my ex! He played games SOO many times.. Fucken Diablo..... lol.... My current boyfriend plays games as well, but nothing like my ex thats for sure.
You dont sound needy, alot of girls go through this, sadly. You just have to talk to him about it unless you have before..
My boyfriend does the same thing. -_- If I get pissy enough he usually stops.
maybe you should try being as cool as the games are. you can't just say "i'm a woman, i deserve all the attention." you gotta earn that shit. and whining is a step in the wrong direction.
@ShirleyD@xanga - Sex > Video games, at least your ex will be removed from the gene pool.
Let me try to shed some light on this as I am a semi-professional gamer and I have interviewed and spoken to some former managing directors of such companies as Activision-Blizzard (World of Warcraft, Diablo, StarCraft, Call of Duty, etc.) so my guess is I know a little bit more about this topic than most.
From those interviews and from my personal experience I've learned that the trend within the gaming industry is that games are being designed to be addictive, LITERALLY! For example with Call of Duty, they give someone a point/scoring system and make it so that they can constantly improve but never quite fully reach the top (Leader-boards, Prestige, Ranking, etc.) and there actually are rehab centers for World of Warcraft. Now this is not to say that everyone who plays video games is going to become addicted, just as not everyone is an alcoholic or a drug addict. But these games are designed to hook you in, just as certain television shows or books do to their audiences.
Now these facts aside let me share one of my views/experiences with games, it's also one that I know dozens of my friends share. When I get a new game, especially one that I've been waiting for quite awhile, it's difficult to resist tearing open the packaging let alone playing for days on end. For example when I got Assassin's Creed I literally played everyday, as soon as I got back from class, until I beat the game. I think that took me about a week, a week and a half. But after that, I went back to casually playing for two or three hours at a time. Thus, from what I've experienced and seen numerous times in others, is that there is a brief period of "Hardcore Gaming" and then things go back to an a balanced level.
In regards to your situation...your boyfriend might have a little bit of a problem but I don't know how long this has been going on for. If it's been two weeks, okay, he should be nearing the end of this period. If he goes past that then you need to have a talk, and try to be calm and relaxed about it. Also, try to catch him, if this makes any sense, when he's offline and after a save point. It's the equivalent to if he walked into the bathroom while you were putting on makeup or if you were halfway through watching your favorite television show, he'd wait for it to finish first.
Also, I am not defending your boyfriend at all. If you feel neglected then there's an issue that needs to be resolved. Personally, I set time aside for both gaming and relationships. Although in my case gaming is a way with which I still feel connected to my friends back home since I study in London and they're all scattered about the U.S. at their colleges. No matter what though, my SO would always take precedence over that.
Hope this helps!
P.S. Have you ever tried playing with him? Personally I think any woman that can play games with her man, and more importantly play well, is f*cking sexy as hell (Nerdgasm xD)
Also, gaming, just like drugs or alcohol, can be an escape from reality. Have you asked him if there's something wrong lately? Work or family related? Depressed? Frustrated?
nothing wrong here at all. you might think about trying out video games. play with him
im in that same boat word 4 word i swear it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@tiptoplove@xanga - ive said something to my bf and it doesnt work
@bmillerssailor@xanga - there is nothing wrong with being bored together esp if i have nothing to do while he is on x box
I think it's an addiction too. He doesnt seem to prioritize. To come home & play 2-3 hours then hang with you is drastically different from playing the second he walks in until he gets into bed. And this is coming from a chick who risked kidney infections playing video games because I wouldnt pause to go to the bathroom for hours but then again I was single in school then & if I play my games now, I do it solo.
I would talk to him about how you feel. Possibly he may not realize he's doing it. If he cant let go of the games, I would suggest leaving the relationship. If he cant make time for you, what's the point? You wouldnt be happy & you shouldnt have to play video games just to get some interaction with him. Yeah I mean it'd be cool to play together but for hours on end everyday? No. Girls (& guys) have similar issues but with different hobbies, be it sports or even workaholics.
Good luck! I hope whatever you decide to do, it works out in your favor.
I'll just ignore him and go in the other room to have a jude law movie marathon
@SherryNicoleBabyy@xanga - You're right. I can be "bored" with my husband and happy, I just was telling her that if her boyfriend already doesn't take time for her, boredom isn't a good way to bring him in.
Dress up for him and if he ignores that then you should be angry at him and talk it off
Uck, gamers are super unsexy for this reason.
I hate it when a girl does everything she can and still gets ignored and then blames herself... Your man is inadequate in bed, not you.
Try harder, but if that doesn't help, leave him.
No game is better than sex...dump that gamer nerd! He has basically dumped you for his "X"
From what you've said, it's still a little to early to know if it's an addiction or not. He might just be the type of guy who needs to be the best at everything. With video games there's a never-ending source of obstacles that let you prove that you're the best at something.
So... since you seem to be look for a specific kind of attention this is what would work for me. Before he starts playing the game stand in front of the TV Topless. That way there is absolutely no doubt to what you want. If he doesn't bite he's addicted to the video games and you should talk to him about it in a non confrontational way. If he does go for it move on to round two.
Round two, right after you're done tell him that it was the best you've ever had and that he was moments away from giving you the big O. If he has already, tell him that he was moments away from giving you a second or third. The point is you want to make pleasuring you a contest. Sometimes tell him he was really close, so that he shifts his video game obsession to you, once he does tell him he got it then challenge him to try to do it again.
This won't fix the source of the problem, but it should give you both what you're looking for.
agh my life story.
@kev1nccho1@xanga - wow.