Thursday, 01 December 2011
I have a friend who is repeatedly in a situation where she befriends a guy and starts to like him. They become really close, and it's not clear if he likes her or just sees her as a really close friend. After a while, he ends up liking/dating one of her friends.
She gets sad and depressed, then turns to me and asks, "Why does this keep happening to me?"
And I want to be honest, but I can't. She has a cute face, a great personality, and can flirt with the best of them. But she's overweight. She's not just a little overweight, but a significant amount. I really do believe that this is why these guys end up just seeing her as a friend and liking someone else who's usually not as cute or funny, but is definitely thinner.
Some people may say it's not a big deal, but I know it bothers guys. I have a friend that decided not to pursue a relationship with a great girl, simply because of her weight. It's also a bigger deal because it's more acceptable for you to be bigger in certain cultures, but she's Asian and Asians tend to be more petite. Not always, but often times these guys that she likes are Asian, who tend to like their women more petite.
But I can't tell her that I think that's the reason these guys don't like her. I think it'll crush her. And I don't know how I would even bring it up or what I would say. Yet, I really think if she lost some weight these guys would end up liking her. I don't want this cycle to continue, but I don't want to crush her, either, and possibly harm our friendship.
What would you say?
Post submitted from a Datingish reader