Sunday, 27 November 2011
-
How Would You Feel if You Bought Your Own Engagement Ring and Wedding Band?
When I tell people that I am married, they give me a questioning look. Why? Because I don't have my engagement ring or my wedding band on my finger. Well, to be exact, I don't have either of them because I have not yet purchased them. My husband and I have been married for a year and a half now, but at the time of our wedding, we couldn't afford my engagement ring and wedding bands though he asked me to marry him.
I was fine with it and told him when we have the money, we can go and buy them together. Now that I have the money in our account, we have been looking around - but I will be the one purchasing my engagement ring and our wedding bands together with the money that I solely worked for to purchase my bridal set and his wedding band.
I was wondering, how do you feel when the woman is the one purchasing the man's wedding band for him when society views it the other way around? Do you feel differently or do you not care who buys what as long as both of you are happy together?
(Before anyone starts assuming, yes, my husband has always wanted me to get my engagement ring and wedding band, but with his school loans coming in plus our daily living expenses in this tough economy, all our spare cash - and not a lot, goes to our savings in case anything were to happen.)
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Ajjanae@xanga
- About Me: You can call me Jane. I love to write and express myself through my writings.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 13080 Comments: 0 250 View all posts by Ajjanae@xanga
Comments (89)
Well, it's certainly not traditional, but there's nothing really wrong with it. I mean if you want to be really egalitarian you could go dutch on the rings.
It's my opinion that in a marriage yours and mine becomes ours so the question would be irrellevant.
i wouldn't mind it. i'm the one who will be wearing it, after all. i'd rather buy it myself and make sure it's something i love.
besides, if i ended up divorced, the ring would still be mine to sell :)
You are already married so it doesn't really matter. I'd say (in this economy) use the money to pay the student loans or save it till he gets a job/better job (whatever it is) and buy the ring later. A ring isn't necessary for a marriage. Good luck!
(I paid for my first wedding band and paid for the second wedding band and engagement ring when he lost the first ones. He paid for the first engagement ring. I think I paid for part of his wedding band, but I'm not sure.)
I think a simple gold band is beautiful and if it were me I would buy something simple right now and keep the extra back just in cause you need it later then on your 5th or even 10 he can add a cool ring to your finger
As long as you are both okay with the situation, I don't think it matters.
Personally, I'd prefer my future husband bought the ring, but it doesn't have to be crazy over the top.
why not buy a nice, cheap pair of rings and save the money to pay back loans?
onec you're more finally secure, you can buy "nicer" rings if you still feel like some metal circles and rocks are important to your marriage :)
i would feel fine with it. It's a marriage - you share the money afterwards anyways .
nice knees by the way
I wouldn't mind paying for one or both wedding bands, but I wouldn't want to buy my own engagement ring, for the simple reason that I want him to take the initiative to save up and get the ring, and surprise me. I don't want to go ring shopping together or pick out my own ring or any of that - he knows basically what I would want, he can pick it out himself. If he's not sure he can ask my friends or parents to help him. But, I know most of my friends who have gotten married picked out their engagement rings, so to each their own. Since he has to purchase the engagement ring, which is usually the most expensive ring, I would happily pay for our wedding bands. I think that's fair.
I always figured that the bride purchases the grooms band and the groom purchases the brides ring and band, and I know that some buy their rings together as a whole entire set. If the love of my life asked me to buy my own ring and his as well, I may be a little startled at first, but i'd probably do it. I guess it'd depend on the situation. If he has the money to purchase my ring, I'd be expecting him to do so, but if I had more cushion in the bank, i'd buy it.
For me, the ideal situation would be that we purchase each others rings. It shows that we each have the i dunno...dedication(Is that the word?).
Meh, it's just rings. Not having them doesn't make you any less married.
i'd honestly feel really bummed... not because i want a big flashy ring but because i think the surprise of seeing what ring my man picked out for me and wearing something he picked out especially for me forever sounds really nice to me. if i were buying my own ring then obviously i wouldn't get to have that experience.
the way you worded, 'with the money i solely worked for', it kind of sounds like you feel a little bummed yourself that you are bearing all of this cost. maybe i am going way too freudian and reading into it - and if i am, i apologize.
i thought that partners brought each others respective rings, and it seems odd for one partner to suddenly bear all of the cost. that is nontraditional in more than the respect of the bride buying her own engagement ring... i'd say hold off until your loans are better paid and he can chip in some, because you never want your beautiful wedding ring/band to be a source of strife or resentment in your marriage!
Nothing wrong with it. I keep telling my boyfriend to put off buying the ring until later because he has other expenses he's worried about, but he's pretty traditional and I'm pretty sure he really wants to get the rings before we get married. Either way I'm happy.
Technically, since the account belongs to BOTH of you, the money belongs to BOTH of you. Hence, it's fine if you go out and buy his wedding band :D But in all seriousness, I don't see anything wrong with it. You had your reasons for not being able to buy it before you got married. Now, the both of you do. I'm going to buy my fiance's wedding band, so you're not the only one :)
Good for you for doing it. If you're both comfortable and okay with it, who cares what anyone else thinks??
Personally, I would want the ring bought for me, but I just really like surprises so (:
I plan on it actually. I HATE diamonds, and don't want traditional anything-ever. So when I get the money I will buy us both a lovely pair of rings that we like. Oh, and I am also proposing to my guy.
No big deal. You're no less engaged if you buy the ring.
I paid for my rings and my husband's band. We didn't really have much money at the time, so we bought the cheapest that there was. My band cost 50 dollars, and my engagement ring (which was actually from the promise ring section) was 150 on sale! His wedding band cost 100 dollars. We also purchased the lifetime warranty, which covered resizing, polishing, and any repairs needed for as long as you own the ring. Best thing ever. It's already paid for itself. Anyway, the only thing that bothered me about paying for the engagement ring was because I wanted him to put the thought into picking out something I would like. He bought me a different one for our anniversary this year. I think as long as both of you are okay with you paying for the rings, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You don't have to tell anybody that you paid. Since you have loans, I recommend getting cheaper ones....it's not about how big the rings are, it's about your love for each other.
Personally, I know I would never quite be able to afford a ring if I was in your situation. (I work in a field where it's pretty much a guarantee that no one will be making serious bank.)
I'm the type of person where it was always "tradition" to have a small/simple ring until you (as the couple) hits a major anniversary (I'm talking like, 25th or the like) AND THEN you do the upgrade. Now, I know that it's a trend/thing to do of getting the bigger rock upfront or expecting it. But, really, if the girl expects a big rock in the beginning, what's she gonna expect at a major anniversary? I'm the type of person where simplicity is key and the upgrade is later, IF I even want it.
I say good for you for being able to afford whatever you're gonna get, regardless of what society thinks. I hope you are proud of it when you get it. :D
It's the same thing as asking if it's okay for a woman to propose to a man. I, for one, am alright if you bought your own engagement ring and wedding band. It's refreshing to break the mold and if you two are happy together regardless of having a ring or not, people should be happy for you.
At least, for me, while I would want to get my (future) fiance an engagement ring when I propose to her, I think the main idea is to show that you want to spend the rest of your life with them by their side.
How could you afford a wedding if you can't afford a ring????
The beautiful thing and true meaning about being married is that you will be there for each other, regardless.. if it happens that you're more financially stable than your husband and you're comfortable with buying your own rings, more power to you! Congrats on being a successful woman and a free thinker who actually loves her husband and doesn't only care about how much HE spent on it.
Don't worry, there are plenty of things to spend money on in the world... I'm sure when he is able to he will pay. I can relate to this situation because my boyfriend makes more than I do and my student loans are coming, so he pays for more things than I do. Of course for some reason from the views of our society that is more acceptable, but if you can do it and want to, make yourself (and your man) happy! :)
I picked out my engagement ring and it def guarantees you'll love it. :) It should also be a reminder to both you and your husband that you love him so much you're willing to do anything to be with him...legally, physically, etc... :)
Congrats!
i've always thought when you're married, whether it's his money or my money, it really didn't matter bc we're married, what's his is mines and what's mines is his. i would never frown upon it.