Sunday, 27 November 2011

• Everyone Needs a Person

  For a while, The Ginger and I were on quite a Grey's Anatomy trip. Naturally my great uncle and second cousin, who are both rather prominent heart surgeons, would like me to understand that hospitals don't really work like that, but that all aside, we absolutely love the friendship between Cristina and Meredith.
  
  In one particular episode, Cristina doesn't want to announce her engagement to Burke until she has told Meredith, because Meredith is her "person."
  
  "She's my person! She's that person I call at three in the morning because we have to hide the body!"
  
  I think I can honestly say that The Ginger is my person, as I am hers. She's the one person whose door I will be pounding on at two in the morning with Ben and Jerry's, and chick flicks, because life sucks and I need someone to help me through it. She's the person I'd go through hell and rain for, because I know she'd do that and more for me.
  
  We were talking today about someone we both know, who can come off a little rough around the edges a lot of the time. It's generally hard to tell whether she's as cold-hearted and rough as she claims, or whether she acts that way because she's been hurt one too many times to let anyone else in.
  
  I think it's horrible when women have to go through something awful, or have to deal with a rough phase in their life, and don't have a person. Everyone deserves to have a person. They deserve to have someone to run to when their life goes to shit. Someone who will set them straight even through the tears. Someone who can be the voice of reason through the mouthfuls of ice cream and brownies. Someone to just sit there and listen through the mountain of balled up tissues.
  
  I think a lot of women lose themselves in relationships because they don't have a person. I know far too many women who jump from one man to another, because when they leave, they are left alone to pick up the pieces. They don't have that obnoxious person pounding their door down to make sure they don't drown in self pity.
  
  I spent the greater part of my life without a person. I had my dog, and when she died I was left to hide in books. I went from one dysfunctional relationship to another. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but it wasn't until The Ginger became my person that I realized, for the first time, I was okay outside of a relationship. I wasn't sitting at home losing myself in movies, books, and crying because I felt so alone.
  
  I'm okay without a girlfriend, because aside from the fact that I have a strong base of friends to spend time with and talk to, I have someone I can turn to when life seems to start crashing down. I have someone I can be there for when her day starts to fall apart.
  
  I'm not saying that a relationship is doomed to fail just because you don't have a person, not at all. But I also think that having a person in my life is more important to me than anyone I could ever date or even marry.
  
  What are your thoughts?
  

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