If he's in another country, he can't propose to you properly over the phone.  Wait and see what happens when you get to him.  If a civil ceremony won't enough for you either speak up now or discuss having a formal ceremony on a visit back to your home.  That will be important to you someday.  Good luck!

Rather than trying to tell him how to do it "sweetly and properly" you need to explain to him that this is important. The process of being proposed to, is not something that should be 'assumed' simply because it has been discussed. He knows you love him. You know he loves you. You both know you're going to get married once you move out there to be with him forever... but these are the little moments in transition that's going to stick out in your mind like a splinter in your brain.

You should explain to him that although you both it the marriage and the happily forever is at the corner, it should still be formalized to warrant a proposal. If not at the bridge as you have fantasized over the years, but at least, go to a decent restaurant, even a simple basic wedding band, take your hand, bend at the knee and ask you to marry him. Just because we all know what's going to happen, doesn't that mean it would hurt to formalize it, does it?

If he undermines your request or doesn't understand it, explain to him that even if he doesn't fully comprehend the womanly reasons for you WANTING it, would it hurt for him to do it? IF it does, maybe you should further discuss your relationship and its variables between the two of you before jumping into a life changing experience. IF it doesn't but he thinks it's weird, does it matter? Would it kill him to do it just to see you happier about your decisions? Not really. I'm sure he'll understand.

You know... when my fiance proposed to me, he did it with a way that eradicated all romantic "oh, I'm so in love!" feeling altogether. He just assumed that once he proposed, we'd just move in together into his new apartment (that I helped him pick out), even though I had told him (as my parents have also) that we need to have a formal engagement dinner with our family and closest friends (who are like family) to announce our engagement before we can just living together (my fam is pretty traditional old school). So the day he did it, he was questioning if I just got the ring, we can start moving my stuff in the next day, and when I had told him AGAIN what the deal is, he freaked out. I knew he was going to do it that afternoon because he never freaks out for anything (mr. poker face). It was raining outside, I was cold, so he told me some BS reason to have a tall mug of hot coco and take a walk outside in the drizzle. I had to use the washroom, as we were walking in the rain with a tiny 1 person umbrella, and he kept leading me OUTSIDE and FURTHER away from public washrooms, so I had to ditch him there and RUN to the nearest one. Why? I knew he was going to propose. I had to pee. I didnd't want to do the "I gotta pee" wiggle dance when he's trying to set the mood to have the whole one knee bent thing. But even afterwards, he made jokes the whole time and it wasn't romantic at all, funny even because I KNEW he was going to (no surprise there and I did want to be a bit surprised) and he sucked the romance out of the whole thing.

It rings true that anyone who hears this story hears how silly I was being for ditching him to use the washroom and why he wasn't being adaptable/flexible enough to have a plan B for his rained out picnic that he stayed true (walk in the rain) of... but as memorable and humorous it is, it wasn't what I had dreamt of. I'm not the very "gushy" emotional type when it comes to crying when happy, but I had imagined a romantic "OMG" moment that I can treasure always. Instead, now it's a comical story of how he asked the question... oy!

So just make sure that HE understands that YOU too want to have a romantic moment in time to feel that "OMG,~ ah~ he's going to propose!" feeling because you're a romantic or it's something you want to remember forever. Any time any guy ever asks for my story of the proposal and any tips on how to make her SO happy, I tell them... always have a back up PLAN b just in case the rain or weather interferes with the romance in the air, and don't freak out even if's not the ideal weather. Be prepared, flexible and be charming!! -_-;

Why don't you tell him about your fantasy instead of hoping that he'll develop telepathic abilities and probe your mind.

while he's in there he'll probably discover a few more "fantasies" you been workin on in your spare time..isn't that right? get your mind out of the gutter.

You [women] don't propose for marriage...  yet you're SELFISH about **how** you'll be proposed too?

Wake up from your fairy tale; you are NO princess.  Forget about having your stupid story and be happy to marry the person you love; ESPECIALLY, when you are *NOT* the one proposing.

This is just another outdated gender'ed tradition that needs to change.  

@LoveeeLikeASunset@xanga - "it wouldn't surprise me if you're the kind of woman who puts 95% of her focus on the wedding day instead of the actual marriage."

Yep!  The focus of marriage should be the two lives together and instead -- it's all about the wedding.  It's terrible how weddings are constructed -- for women. 

I think you should reevaluate your priorities. Yes, the decision to get married is a big one, but the proposal itself shouldn't be the focus--it's a short amount of time out of the rest of your life that you two are planning to spend together. Make THAT your priority, because in the long run, the proposal is a minor detail.

...and what's wrong with Gary Larson? That man is a genius!

The best way is to sit him down and explain
to him just how much it means to you, and make sure he knows it's a
serious discussion and not something you are mentioning in passing.
Regardless of whether or not he knows your answer, explain to him that
you want him to ask and why. If he can't respect that, you'll have to
come up with some kind of compromise :(

To everyone that said the proposal isn't important/not the focus/"if you care about the proposal so much you probably only care about the wedding and not the marriage," that isn't necessarily true.  Yes, its an outdated gender role thing and should I want to perpetuate it? I don't know.  But the fact is that I'm incredibly hopelessly romantic - and I mean that in I will also set up little romantic spontaneous things (like slipping a little note in his pocket saying how much I love him or hand-making his holiday gift) for my guy as much as I want him to do that for me.  But when it comes to the proposal... well, you're right, the guy proposes.  And I want that to be just as romantic and seemingly spontaneous as the other little things I like to do.  It doesn't mean that I'll put all my focus into the wedding or that I don't understand the commitment of marriage and the hard work and dedication and communication and everything else that it takes (though I admit that I won't truly understand until I'm married).  It just means that I like things to be on the romantic side and if any future fiance of mine can't understand that and appreciate that about me, then I would be a little upset.  

I also think that the bigger issue here is that her fiance isn't listening to her.  If its that important to her, he shouldn't blow it off like a joke.  There is a serious communication issue here that needs to be addressed, beyond just "omg I want a proper proposal!"  If he is blowing off something like the proposal, then who knows what other things he may blow off in the future.  Although, I think one thing to consider is that possibly he is blowing it off b/c he wants to throw the OP and then surprise her when she gets to his location... but that is just one possible explanation.  

you propose to him!

guys, she's not asking much, she just wants him to propose with his heart not just a , "marry me" while they're watching a movie. she even said it herself that she understood that they aren't super wealthy so she's not worrying about the ring size. I think you should tell him that you want the proposal to be from THE HEART, not necessarily  romantic i guess :)

@xXDC_luyouXx - she's moving to another COUNTRY for him. the least he could do is propose...

I don't think you can be particular about HOW you want to be proposed to, but I do think you can let him know it's important to you that you ARE proposed to. It's not a business arrangement, and you don't want it to feel like such. If you want a 'real' wedding, make it happen. I think you will regret not having one, if you are feeling now like you want more than just a civil ceremony. It doesn't have to be huge or cost a ton of money, but it's one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make so I don't think it's unreasonable to want it to feel special. Good luck!

Thanks for everyone's advice.

@LoveeeLikeASunset@xanga - While I don't think it's really unreasonable or immature, I definitely agree with your last statement.  If I whine about it enough, he will do it to shut me up. And that's exactly what I don't want. Maybe I want him to be a different person.

@kor_girl@xanga - That's a cute story.  I think it's just the effort part that I want, and it sounds like your guy did.

@written_conversations@xanga - That's kind of my problem, it's like a catch 22. If I don't tell him to do it, he won't do it, but if I tell him to do it, then he's just doing it because I told him. I like the general consensus idea of proposing to him myself.  It seems like the only way out of it.

@autotroph - You're correct, I just never want to have the feeling that I missed out on something. And ugh, Gary Larson, he annoys me.

@teawithhoney@xanga - Point taken. I have considered this. This is kind of another underlying question I have...how do I get him to understand the things that are important to me? And if he doesn't, does that mean he isn't worth it?

@Cucumber_Melonhead@xanga - An idea I've taken into consideration now. Thanks.

@MsButterworth311@xanga - That's exactly what I feel like. I don't care HOW he does it, I just want him to do it.

You're only going to get married once (ideally/hopefully) so unless you speak up and get the proposal you won't you're going to resent it for the rest of your life...