Thursday, 24 November 2011
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Who is Your Role Model in Love ?
With divorce rates so high these days, it's hard to believe in love and the institution of marriage. Also, the "role models" that we are given to look up to are often celebrities whose marriages, in some cases, last 72 days! I think the ideal case in this situation is to look at the love that we saw growing up - our parents and grandparents- as a "role model". And by "role model" I mean a love that has lasted over time, a love that has ups and downs but is still strong. Love is a beautiful thing and it should be treated as such. Sure, it can get annoying to be with one person for the rest of your life (let's face it- that's a long time) but the important thing is to remember why you fell in love in the first place and keep that bond. I'm sure that's also easier said than done.
I don't know or understand when or why marriages became such a hard thing to maintain. Sure, there are more stresses these days than there were twenty, thirty or even forty years ago but who's to say that it wasn't difficult back then? None of us can really know for sure. I think the problem is that people give up too easily. Of course there are cases in which people make mistakes and simply should no longer be married but I think people take advantage of divorce. It's too readily available. I don't believe it should be an option until it's a necessity. Does that make sense?
So Datingish readers: Who are your role models in love?
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About the Author
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- From: nycgirl
- Name: nycgirl
- About Me: nyc born & raised. virgo. believer in fate & destiny & that love conquers all.
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Comments (29)
Sheldon Cooper.
I would say my parents because they have been together for more than 40 years :O but my marriage only lasted 12 years
William Wilson & Jessica Drenkel ♥
They've been together for 10 years and i love how they talk to one another over facebook :3
they're so cute! and so in love! i really look up to them both as a couple and as their own.
William is a lead singer of his band Legion Within and Jessica is manager! doesnt get any
cuter than that!! X} Work Love life xxx
I stride to be just like them in my own relationship
marge and homer simpson
Definitely my parents. They have been together for 30 years. Sure they have had their ups and downs and fair share of arguments, but they have never strayed away from one another. They are my role models even more now then ever. With my dad battling brain cancer and every day being something new to face, i can see how much they love each other and how they would do anything for one another.
"I don't know or understand when or why marriages became such a hard thing to maintain."
Remember that the whole "til death do us part" thing didn't used to be such a long time. With the great expansion of life expectancy, people are more willing to separate and find a partner they can be happy with.
"I don't believe it should be an option until it's a necessity. Does that make sense?" No, no it does not. Marriage is an option and not a necessity. Divorce really shouldn't be either. A lot of kids go through parents with painful divorces, but broken marriages are equally dysfunctional. If someone isn't happy in their marriage, they should be able to pursue happiness and get out of that marriage. It's not fair to their spouse for them to continue to create an unhappy existence together.
my uncle and aunt are my role models in love. they have been married for about 20 years now and even though they've been through a lot of hardships in their marriage and family, they still love each other thru no matter what.
2 of my friends who can fuck more girls in one week than i do in 6 months. it's like they don't even try.
My grandparents on my mother's side. They were married 57 years, until my grandfather passed away last winter. They were still in love and best friends until the day he died - they'd go to Atlantic City together, play cards at night before bed, etc. I hope when I get married, my marriage will be as long and as happy as theirs.
I don't have any, because you'll never know what goes on behind closed doors. A long marriage isn't necessarily a happy one, and a long marriage doesn't automatically mean it's successful, either.
I focus on my own relationship, and don't idolise others.
So what if some couple have been together 40+ years? I'm sure bad shit has happened to them in the past. Great that they haven't broken up, but I'd rather enjoy my own and focus on only my own.
I don't have one, though my parents are still together (because I hope I'm more touchy-feely and openly loved-up even if my kids do think it's icky :P ). I DO want one, though- I get emails from various 'relationship gurus' and am appalled that some of them have been together for less time than my boyfriend and I! I need to know how to make relationship #1 work, not what to do once you've been with enough people to 'know what you want'.
my parents: they overcame the troubles with my grandmother who terrorized my mother for 27 yrs (my dad's side), hardships of immigration, income, education, and even now, my dad bugs my mom like a teenager and croons her when she's feeling melancholy (even when she doesn't want him to sing). HAHAHAhA
They dated for 7 yrs, met each other when they were both in their early 20s, my dad went to the army, went back to univ, got a job, had a wedding, had me, lived and moved from place to place because of whatever reason the is, moved to Canada, and are still happily together for almost 30 yrs. They still joke and my dad still bugs my mom, in a playful and childish way, which my mom clarifies is only rarely endearing (with a smile) haha. When my grandmother was truly quite "evil", my mom did contemplate divorce, although she couldn't imagine living without my dad in her life. Even now, as they both joke "about death", my mom says she probably wouldn't live all that long if my dad passed before her and would expect him to outlive her because she couldn't go on. I don't know if that's cute or romantic, because my brother I think that's just morbid. *shrug* But it's sweet, kind of, in a twisted way?
marge and homer simpson
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My parents, my grandparents (both sets), My great grandpa and great grandma, my boyfriends parents and grandparents, my pastor and his wife, etc. I have been blessed to have so many people that are able to demonstrate what a marriage should look like.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - That was a perfect first comment.
My parents just hit year 29 this year I believe, but I have a hard time seeing them as role models of love. Maybe this is foolish, but I look to some of my friends as love role models, the ones that have been in long term, healthy relationships, something I am failing at. One was proposed to by her boyfriend of 5 years last fall, and they will be having their wedding sometime next fall after college graduation. But I guess time will only tell if they are true love role models. At the end, though, if I admire a relationship and the people in it, even if they break up, it doesn't change how I felt about the certain aspects of their relationship I admired since those weren't their downfall.
My grandparents: When my biological grandfather threw my grandmother down the stairs while eight months pregnant, she took her other three kids and left him. She got divorced and met a divorced man with no children. They got married and were married over 40ish years when my grandpa died of lung cancer. He was my grandpa, he adopted my father and his three sisters (one was dying of polio and another one was fighting polio but survived). I asked my grandpa two questions about this. 1) Why did you marry my grandma when she had all those kids?? He said, "Because I loved her." 2) Why do you let grandma yell at you? Now, she didn't yell, yell, but had sternly scolded him when he was trying to steal some food she was cooking behind her back. He ran off laughing. But I wanted to know so I asked him. He said, "Your grandma's first husband was very mean to her, so I give her a lot of slack and let her be in control sometimes. She never has to fear me."
My great-aunt and her husband: My great aunt divorced an alcoholic husband back in the 50s/60s when women like my grandma above were shunned for being divorced. She was a mother and I guess she was alone for years and years. When, she was in her 40s, she married a 21-year-old guy. They were the love of each other's lives. I guess he wasn't much older than her oldest son was but the entire family accepted it. My mother would read her letters to me and my sister when we were kids and she always talked about how happy he made her. They were married well over 30 years when she died. He said that he couldn't live without her and within 18 months he died too.
Sometimes, just sometimes it is the second marriage that lasts a lifetime. Divorce is not so evil.
@lyrra_askavi@xanga - Plus, "to death do us part" was the law, so you couldn't really get divorced. Makes it easier for a marriage to appear to last a lifetime.
@Digital_Angel21@xanga - It's perfect BECAUSE IT'S TRUE
My parents and my boyfriend's parents. My parents have been together 26 years. My father was married prior to my mom and had a divorce. My mother, on the other hand, never dated anyone else but my dad.
My boyfriend's parents have been together 40 plus years. (He's the baby.) His mom had dated a few men, and his dad had only dated one or two women. Neither of them were married before.
Both couples will be the first to tell you that it's not easy, it will drive you nuts and you will want to pull your hair out. It will get boring, it will get exciting. Both couples love each other beyond anything I ever saw, and they are still IN love. The other day my dad told my mom "You know, you get more beautiful every day." Awww. And it's so cute to see both couples still holding hands and stuff. They give both of us a great example to strive for. Yes, my boyfriend and I are JUST boyfriend and girlfriend and we have a child, but it still proves that true love, life long love, exists.
I don't think I have a proper role model for love. My parents are still together, they married in their late 20s, early 30s back in the '70s and are still together despite poverty, immigration, and two jobs each. They don't love each other though, they barely like each other. I remember when I was young, my father once told me that the only reason he stayed with my mother was because he didn't want me to grow up in a broken household.
I'm only 22 and I don't know how I'll fare in the marriage game, but I feel like it won't be that hard for me. I believe that if I love someone enough, and understand why I love her, then maybe we can get over the little problems that will arise.
God, He is love.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I definitely think relationships would be more simple if we all were required to sign boyfriend/girlfriend contracts hahaha. I don't even know if that was even close to anything you were referring to, but that is the last episode I saw, and I'm still laughing when I think about it.