Thursday, 24 November 2011
This post was submitted anonymously.
I've never posted on any site period and I can't believe I'm breaking a 24 year streak now, nevertheless on a dating advice website...but I have a question I can't just go ask my friends/parents/whatnot:
I have been dating this very pretty girl for about 6 months and it's been going very well. We're both in our early 20s. We get along great together, my family loves her (which is unusual), and I like her a lot. We talk a lot and from everything we've discussed I thought we had the same values. Recently, as every couple eventually does, we discussed our sexual history. In the past she seemed to always dodge this topic, but I finally pushed the subject.
After prying it out of her I find out that she has had 15 sex partners plus quite a list of other "hook-ups." She always goes to church and says that is a part of her past (although not too distant) and says she's very ashamed of it. She was crying when she told me this.
I certainly wish I never asked, but now that I know it really bothers me. I'm not a jealous person, but I never have had a caviler attitude towards sex and I was shocked when she told me. I'm a pretty perceptive person and this came out of right field. There are so many great qualities about this girl, I've never met anyone else like her and I still really like her, but now I feel like my perception of her has changed (kind-of), and I don't know if I am ever going to get over that number.
Am I being unreasonable? One part of me wants to let the past be the past, while the other says that you are defined by your actions.