Wednesday, 23 November 2011
An unfortunate situation we all face once in a while when single is meeting someone you really like but who is already in a relationship. The mature thing to do is to just be a good sport, move on, and forget the whole thing, but once in a while the situation gets complicated in ways that can be pretty frustrating. There's a girl I recently met who's in a few of my classes. We're also in this big group of friends who are all together in this Graduate program. That's another problem - it could be a bad idea to date a colleague.
Anyway, after I added her on Facebook, the natural first thing I did was look at her profile. Her profile picture is of her with her boyfriend of at least four years. However, that's all there is to suggest that she has a boyfriend. Her relationship status is blank, which is just a little suspicious. Also, I clicked on the picture, and it turns out it was taken a long time ago. I looked through her pictures, and the last one of them together was taken more than two years ago.
It could be wishful thinking, but I can't help suspecting that she's holding on to that relationship strictly out of loyalty to him, even if it is not making her very happy anymore. From what I've found out, they've been together since high school, and now we're in grad school. The poor girl probably put in a lot of work to make that long distance relationship work for so long.
As for me, I'm pretty sure she suspects how I feel, and I think she knows how jealous I am. We're also clearly both drawn to each other a little. I've caught her looking at me from across the room several times, she always appears enthusiastic when talking to me, and whenever talking to me she seems to drop my first name into at least every other sentence. A couple of times, she even seems to have made an effort to initiate a conversation with me when nobody else was nearby. One time we were also sitting on a bench waiting for some of our friends to come join us.
At first she was at one end, and just to make room, I sat on the other. Immediately after I sat down, she moved to the other side of the bench so that she could sit next to me. Once our friends arrived and sat down, the bench was kind of a snug fit for all four of us, and I could feel part of her touching me; no hands or anything intentional, but it was enough for me to notice. I wanted so badly in that moment to put my arm around her or to move my hand over onto her thigh, but I respected the fact that she had a boyfriend back home and wouldn't do it.
That was hard. She's so beautiful and just the kind of girl I find myself drawn to. To have her sitting snugly next to me felt really good for that moment, but I liked her too much to disrespect her that way. Resisting that temptation to deliberately touch her felt like one of the hardest things I've done.
Right now, I am pretty sure that one of two things is happening: either she's also into me, or she's enjoying the fact that I'm into her. The latter of those two is something I absolutely can't stand when girls do. I personally think it's wrong for a girl who knows she's beautiful to dangle herself in front of a guy just so that she can soak up his attention to entertain herself. Being the guy in that situation ends up being humiliating, frustrating, and lonely.
What's your take on this situation?