I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm hurting from losing someone I love with all my heart too and I know how horrible it feels. For whatever reason it sounds like she's 'done' and it's my opinion that the best thing you can do when someone makes that choice is to love them enough to let them go. I'm getting by one day at a time, I hope good things for you.

I'm sorry you are hurting. But it's obvious she wanted to end the relationship, and she may have been making excuses to do it. If she wasn't happy in the relationship, maybe the best thing to do is to move on. I assume she said she wanted a break because she knew she was unhappy and actually needed the space to think about it. But I agree, when somebody in a relationship says that, it's a big red flag that the end is coming, so I think it wasn't as abrupt as you might think. I'm sorry, and I hope you will be ok.

She was cheating, bro. That's what women do. Forget her, move on, find someone who isn't her. I assure you, she will be much better. This trick took you for granted and you can do better. Although, they're all pretty much the same. Terrible, unfaithful, indecisive people. You're probably better off alone.

@JimmyBuffettDied@xanga - TEEN GIRL SQUAD...!!!!

So you're 21, and you've finished University, and you were in the LDR with her for three years? By the way you typed mum, I'm guessing you're the Brit. Wow, how did you do that? When I started University, I had to break up with my boyfriend, because of the distance, not being able to see him during term time, etc. 

Anyway, this whole situation sounds very messy. Breaking up sucks, it really does, and it's never easy on either parties. 

However, it does sound like that this break up is what she wants, and I'm sorry for that. It sounds like she's taken a step back and found out that it's not you she wants to spend her life with. That's why she's brought up the past. Yeah okay, it's the past, but it still happened. Peoples actions can't be reversed, but they can't be forgotten either. 

Remember that you're only 21, and you haven't been single since you were 18 (right?)

Here's my advice: Get over her. I know it's harsh, and it's not what you want from this, but I reckon in six months time, you'll realise it's what you both needed. I've been through this, I have. I was in a dead end relationship and I hated the motherfucker when he broke up with me, and I then realised down the line that actually he did us both a favour and I'd managed to escape from a relationship that didn't make me happy.

There's plenty of awesome ladies for you, maybe even closer to you. The UK is full of awesome ladies, if I do say so myself? Lol. Honestly, you'll be okay. Breaking up sucks, it does, but we all have to go through it and it makes us stronger. I hope things work out for you.

@Pink_TeaCups@xanga - If they truly loved the person then they wouldn't need to take a break. 

@Pink_TeaCups@xanga - I never said they wanted to shag anything they can. But if they loved each other then they wouldn't need to take a break. I think you're confusing breaks with wanting space. (EDIT: And even if they wanted space, it's more of an issue of one SO smothering the other rather than an actual re-evaluation of the relationship)

@QuantumStorm@xanga - I agree, breaks are bullshit. Just an excuse to see the other options. I would just end it right away if someone said they needed a "break".

@Pink_TeaCups@xanga - How is it even possible to trust someone in an LDR after they say they need a "break"? Isn't being away from them for weeks, even months, at a time considered enough of a "break"?
I'm just saying, from my own experience of being in an LDR currently, if my bf said he needed a break I'd just end it. We're not the LDR couple who constantly chats on the phone or skype, we're a few texts a day if even possible because of how busy we are. If the person is that busy that they can't even maintain such a low level of commitment, then it's not worth it.

@Pink_TeaCups@xanga - Yeah in your case it was probably him just smothering you. There's nothing wrong with telling your SO to back off if that was happening. The thing in THIS post, though, is that she wanted a break, which is usually meant as a "re-evaluation" of the relationship, which MAY involve some serious re-evaluation but generally involves checking out the local guys. 

you guys sound so much like me and my boyfriends situation!! we are also in a LDR and come across similar problems haha. like keeping things pent up and then exploding it onto the boyfriend during some seemingly insignificant argument....

ive broken up with him a couple times, believing that it would be better. how pathetic the next day we were always so miserable we just needed to back together again =( hes asked to take a break once and it just completely confused me cuz it seemed so out of the blue. ive cut off contact with him through phone, fb, and other things....eventually tho i came back around because i wanted to be with him. it certainly helped immensely when we could be together, to remember the feelings we had.

given your situation, until you can see her somehow, the only thing i see that you can do is wait for her to contact you. if you have hope, dont let go. if you love her, keep her in your heart. and be strong!!! its so lonely without the other person but i would be even sadder to hear that my boyfriend wasnt doing well. i thot that the only way i could ever leave him was to know that he would be okay. well now i know i wouldnt be okay without him haha.

if you feel like its worth it, hang in there. first love is such a special thing. and i think you lose something very precious when you give it up.

@Pink_TeaCups@xanga - I'm merely going off of what the post states. It states she wanted a break, and generally that means what I already pointed out in my initial comment. And it's not just me who thinks this as some of the other commenters pointed out.