Thursday, 17 November 2011
I consider myself to be a pretty nice guy. I love to give women honest free dating advice without degrading them like some other writers on this blog do. However, when it comes to Twilight my fangs and claws come out.
Now I have no problem with teenage girls emulating a franchise that promotes dry-humping, self-involved couples, teenage pregnancy and women changing who they are to please their emotionally-challenged boyfriends, because let’s face it: Teenage girls are retarded when it comes to matters of the heart. Let them have their delusional fantasies of how their love lives should be. They will learn the hard way.
However, I do have an issue with grown ass women that are proud to say they're Twi-hards. If you’re over thirty and/or have children and are anxiously awaiting to see Edward knock up Bella this week on the big screen, then I pity you.
I pity the fact that Twilight is the one thing you can look forward to for a “girl’s night out”. I also pity your dwindling love and sex life if you have to fantasize about boys half your age to truly get off or get worked up enough to give your lazy boyfriend/husband obligatory maintenance sex three nights a week.
I pity the fact that you watch this embarrassing love story and you somehow convince yourself that you wish you took more chances on your love life when you were younger instead of settling on the financially stable bore you have at home.
I pity the fact that you compare your significant other’s beer guts to Edward and Jacob’s laundry-worthy abs and think you deserve better.
But more importantly, I pity your melancholy existence if you let this franchise consume your taste in film and books and your ability to view your love life in a realistic way.
Now I have no problem with women that watch Twilight at home on a lazy Sunday afternoon just to see what the fuss is about. However, if you are one of those women that buy every In Touch magazine with Twilight co-stars on the cover, jill yourself while thinking of Bella’s reject werewolf lover and get misty every time a new TV spot airs on television, then you have my sympathy.
Grow up! Put some age-appropriate MEN in your spank bank and stop living a disillusioned life already.
So what do you think? Do you think I’m being harsh or just brutally honest?