Wednesday, 16 November 2011
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Attraction Based on Proximity
A conversation that just occurred:
Me: I think I have a little crush!Friend: No, what you have is a "1, 10, 3" situation. What's a "1, 10, 3" situation? I'll tell you. It's when, objectively, a person is a 1. Then when you are in a confined space with this person for an extended period of time, they become a 10. But once you mess around with them, you realize they are actually just a 3.
Obviously this was meant to be taken with a bit of humor, but do you think there's any truth to this?
Have you ever had this experience? How is attraction affected by proximity and a degree of isolation with another individual? Have you ever lost attraction to somewhat immediately after a hook up?
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About the Author
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- From: RachelG
- Name: Rachel
- Location: New York City, New York, United States
- About Me: A recent 23 year old NYC transplant. In college I studied Creative Writing, Gender Studies, and Art History, which clearly translates into a trifecta of professional desirability. I can often be found reading, writing, playing very sloppy guitar, eating peanut butter, and swapping love life stories with my friends due to our plethora of failed relationships. I was voted Funniest Girl in high school, and am perpetually attempting to drop that in casual conversations without having it appear that I am still desperately clinging to it (which, let's face it, I am).
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Comments (25)
Totally true, that's why it's such a bad idea to get involved with people you work with or go to class with, the time you have to spend with the person alterates your perception.
It's called alcohol :3
ahahahahahaha
ahahahahaha, this was my summer with the guys I worked with!!!
Long slow days outside, you have to find something to do. Except I THANKFULLY never fooled around with any of them.... but it more went like "-5, 10, 0" for me.
I usually have crushes on a guys that average an 8 and they seem to get hotter to a 10+ but that's when I don't know much about them yet. later their number gradually decreases due to unappealing habits and they might go down to a 3, and then they either hit a dealbreaker or do something stupid to piss me off and land in the negative friendzone forever.
there are some guys at work, who I think are cute, but I don't intend to hookup because I just don't do that with anyone and I do check them out in a subtle way when I'm bored at work sometimes, but that's it. there's this very old man coworker, who fancies me, and tries to flirt with me and ask me out, and he thinks that I'll eventually like him, but he disgusts me more each time, because he is just creepy and ugly lol
smoke weed, the numbers wont even matter (:
My ex. He was a 1 when I saw him because he's ew looking then I realized after spending time with him he's a cool guy. Making out with him was cool when we were together, but months after we broke up, and after I had another bf after him I realized he was a 3, good personality but disgusting otherwise.
And my recent ex as well. He was a 1 when I first met him online, but talking to him made him a 10 and our phone calls/beginning of relationship, but once I had sex with him and he stopped turning me on...so he became a 3.when I was dating my boyfriend, said guy was a 1 because he was super creepy.
Once I broke up with the boyfriend, said guy was a 10 because he was super buff, and I guess this somehow made up for the creepyness.When his dick was the size of a tampon, he wasn't even a 3. back to 1.Pretty much. Same how when you spend most of your time with a limited amount of people, someone you generally wouldn't like becomes the object of your affection, really just because there's no one else around.
haha!! i never knew there was such a thing as "1, 10, 3"
The number thing just sounds like that horrible movie where the guys rate everything on a stupid scale when the guy and the girl were totally chill together all along. That movie just complicated a simple thing. STUPID. But I do think that what you wrote about happens. Just look at movie actors. Costars don't date before the film, they film, then they date for a month or so and then break up. Geddit?
This is SOO true. I have a long distance boyfriend and so in class sometimes when I'm bored and lonely I'll start thinking a guy is cute and begin crushing on him. Then after I get to know him I realize that hes just a typical d-bag and I love my boyfriend.
YES. My last relationship was this.
At least he was good in bed....?
I definitely experienced the 1, 10, 3 thing a lot in the past year : /
Damn. Story of my fucking life.
YES!!!
@RulerofMasons@xanga - Listen to your partner, always. Take constructive criticism well (as in, if they suggest you do something differently or say something you're doing is off, don't beat yourself up or flip out). Don't take everything super seriously and relax. Be into it, not just into it as a science. Exacting a technique isn't nearly as important as actually being into the act itself.
this is a very interesting concept but i hav never been through... it.......wait never mind disregard... your on the money.... this is a nifty post indeed...ive definately been through this...
@RulerofMasons@xanga - Depends on your partner. Everyone is different.
My ex fell back to his objective number. So like 3, 10, 3. Now I look back and wonder what I ever saw in him... Alas, it must have been the fact that I had few friends outside that core group of people that he and I belonged to.
My current bf is probably objectively a 7 or 8, but saw him as a 3 or 4 because I had the hots for one of his friends first. After the thing with his friend ended horribly and I became closer to my bf, I started to realize he was indeed quite a good looking guy and we started dating... and now I see him as a 10 :)
I've had a similar mindset at times and I'm glad someone put it into words for me haha.