Friday, 11 November 2011
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What Dating an Idiot Will Teach You
Online dating is never easy, you definitely have to kiss many toads to find a prince. Sometimes the frogs are also borderline Forrest Gumps. If you're paying attention those dating experiences can still teach you important lessons.Today's task for the single ladies reading this blog is to take the lemons of that idiot you dated for two months and make brilliant lemonade from the things you learned. Here's my top ten.
1. Sex really isn't everything. When you're sick and he forgot that he said he would drive you to the doctor's, you really realize that a good make out session really doesn't compare with someone who will be there for you when you need them.
2. Guy's who wear Christmas themed underwear will never remember to pick you up from the airport.3. You learn to be self sufficient. When your boyfriend can't even follow a GPS, you'll soon find yourself with the map in your capable hands. That's a good thing.
4. You learn to listen to your gut, because often if you had done that to begin with, you wouldn't have dated that mindless man.5. Patience. How many times did you have to explain the difference between astronomy and astrology? Patience is something you can bring into relationships later on down the road.
6. Budgeting. If there is one thing you don't want to do, it's leave the water bill in the hands of someone who can't figure out a tip.
7. You come prepared. You know a guy is an idiot when he never has condoms or an extra towel. Because of dating that half wit, you now always keep condoms in your purse and a fully stocked overnight bag in your trunk.
8. You learn how to be assertive. Most men who aren't very bright, won't tackle things head on because they don't have the confidence. So you have to step it up, say yes or no, and get things resolved. This is a very good thing.
9. You plan ahead. If you've dated an idiot, you know to never leave things to chance, so you get in the habit of checking times and dates of important events, reservations and even groceries.10. You learn ask for what you need. One thing is certain about dating an idiot, they do not get hints. So if you want flowers, you have to ask for them. Or if you want a specific present for your birthday (or for him to remember your birthday) you have to tell him. This is good, we should ask for what we need.
Sometimes we learn the best things from the worst relationships. Take what you need and leave the rest when it comes to your dating experiences. Stay safe and sane!
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Comments (35)
I would just like to add that most of this applies equally well to guys that have dated dumb girls. Especially the patience part.
I wear holiday themed underwear and I never forget to pick people up at the airport.
@endlezzthinking@xanga - lol yeah that one must be a really specific example ...
i spose i agree, good thing you only dated him for 2 month! yeesh!
If being prepared, being self-sufficient, learning to ask what you need, etc., are things you have to learn through dating, then I have to wonder about what OTHER obvious things you don't know how to do...
Please, PLEASE learn some proper punctuation.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - lol, exactly. The last one really bugged me, actually. Why should your boyfriend be able to read your mind?
@written_conversations@xanga - It's much easier to blame a man for not being telepathic than it is to blame a woman for being too secretive and/or inarticulate.
Mostly, it will teach you not to date idiots anymore. :D
my hubby has Christmas boxers and he never forgot to pick me up at the airport when we dated long distance =)
honestly tho, my 7 years of marriage has taught me one big thing. Men are simple, so we as women need to quit complicating things. It just confuses the poor guys.
I feel like you're more describing oblivious or unreliable people rather than people who lack intelligence. But either way, I guess you're always going to meet people like this so you should be prepared haha.
i definitely agree. you always learn from bad relationships. i do mostly bc i never want to make the same mistake twice.
I always wondered if lists like this are just to get people to agree with what they already know.
Does anyone respect the "little known secrets" lists where you learn something that isn't part of your thinking?
right on!
This confused me. Who needs half of these things told to them? And why Christmas themed boxers?
Amen to # 1. sex is only one of million other things.
or maybe he's just a selfish jerk.
I have dated a pretty clueless guy. And he tends to use the standard guy excuses for his dating faux pas. Except they aren't justified. "I don't know what you want, why don't you tell me what you want" he'll say.
Um, remember that link I sent you the day we were on our laptops side by side and I said "I WANT THIS" um...well, I guess so
Or that I told you specifically what I like and don't like in bed.
Or that I asked you if you wanted to go to this event at this time on this day
etc. rinse repeat.
Um guys, if you WANT us to tell you what we want, maybe you should actually listen to what we are telling you.
Upon reading this post, it has been confirmed that I have indeed married an idiot. On the bright side, it's a good self-confidence booster knowing that I am smarter than someone.
I feel like I learned some of these things in non-relationship circumstances. Not that bad relationships aren't great teachers, but I feel like some of these things you just sorta.. pick up along the way? :p
@GagaMonster - I agree. I've dated very academically intelligent individuals that were "idiots" when it came to relationships and social stuff. Completely clueless and unreliable. And I used to be a straight shooter with them, so there was no excuse when it came to knowing what I wanted.
He doesn't sound like an idiot...just someone who isn't that into you...
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@ccccourage@xanga - Haha I totally agree! I had exes who were always saying things along the lines of "Tell me when something is bothering you! My ex-girlfriends never did and I wish they had, and then they just broke up with me!" And then when I'd tell them, they would tell me I was being too sensitive or that I was being too needy (by asking for flowers or to take ME out to dinner, for example). In my head I was thinking, "this must be why they wouldn't tell you what they wanted."
Fortunately, though my current boyfriend never told me to tell him when stuff was wrong, he actually DOES want to know, and when I tell him something I would like him to do (nicely, of course), he does it. And before the guys rag on me, I do things like offering to pay for meals and stuff too :) I even cook for him when I see him and do a lot of the planning for trips when I know I have more time than him :)
Just wondering what underwear has to do with picking people up at the airport.....
I've dated plenty of idiots. You learn this and a hole helluva lot more, trust me.