Thursday, 10 November 2011
A wise friend of mine told me just recently that romance doesn't have to come in a grand gesture, but can be found in the smallest everyday actions. After she said this to me, she simply followed it with a story about herself, her ex-husband, and current fiance.
When she was married, her ex-husband used to pay all of the bills and basically handle all of the financial situations in their marriage. She never once had to fuss with going here and there to pay the bills. He would merely handle all of it while she would, in return, cook dinner and clean around the house. He was never particularly romantic with her in the usual ways of surprises, flowers and chocolates, or gifts. He was romantic more in a way of being a man and taking care of financial business, bringing home the bacon, etc. To him, he believed that was his way of being romantic for her.
After a couple years, my friend grew tired of it. She wanted more. She desired to swept off her feet with sweet words and out-of-the-blue surprises. I honestly don't think that is too much to ask for, considering all relationships crave romance now and then. She asked him about if he could be romantic for her. And as everyone knows, it lasted for about a week before everything fell back into its normal pattern.
Obviously, their marriage didn't last due to more reasons than can be counted, but this issue was partly accountable for this. They just had different views of romance.
As of now, she is engaged to a man that does all of the things she wants. He doesn't exactly make a lot of money like her ex-husband, but he does sweet things for her when he can. He will bring her lunch at work or leave her small notes of encouragement on the mirror in the bathroom. They aren't HUGE gestures, but sometimes it is the little things that go a long way.
After hearing her situation, I looked at my own relationship. My boyfriend isn't the romantic type at all and I'm not romantic in the normal sense. I find romance in our inside jokes, when he will take me out for dinner, the way we quote lines from Spongebob and Adventure Time, and when he will sing "What A Wonder World" in my ear while we cuddle. Those are our sweet moments and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
How do you view romance? Does it come in a bouquet of roses? Or maybe something else?