Thursday, 10 November 2011
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Jealousy Shows Its Head Again
My ex and I mutually agreed not to speak again, at least for a long while. We didn't speak for a few months, which I was proud of, considering he was maybe my only friend for a year and a half. Our conversations run rough, but as we talk, we become comfortable again, at least I do.
I find out he goes to a concert later on, and it's of a band we both like. No, I don't go, but I do keep in contact with him just to see how the concert went. When he told me, he spoke of a guy he and his friends were going to kill due to him trying to get with a 16 year old girl, some guy trying to sell stuff, and a crowd surfing incident.
Then he told me of an attractive girl that tried to hook up with him.
Immediately, without knowing whether he even did anything with her or not, I hated the girl. I know I'm jealous, I understand that feeling, but I don't understand why. This is my ex, not my current. I have no right to be jealous. But I am. To the point of being sick. I'm still talking to my ex, and I can't help but constantly think of the girl.
I feel stupid for being so jealous.
What can I do?
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- From: Kodomo_no_Tsuki@xanga
- Name: I'll never tell.
- Location: boone, North Carolina, United States
- About Me: How do you describe yourself? It would be easy just to say I'm different from everyone else, or I'm the same. I'm normal. But I'm neither. I'm Me. No one else, and I don't want to be. I'm not going to change. ^-^
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Comments (29)
Stop talking to your ex. Duh.
Sometimes just repressing the reaction might have a possitive impact in the emotion.
Cut ties. Keep your mind busy. Gonna seem hard at first, but it will be worth it.
It'll be the best thing for you if you're still feeling the pangs of jealousy.
of course listening to advice in a situation like this usually never works, but from someone who has been through it, and someone who wasted far, far too much time, too much life, feeling jealous, this is my advice.
This is something I wish I had known from the beginning.
Come back to him when you're ready, or not at all.
Well you want to get back with your ex and you need to realise that may never happen or it won't happen for a very long time. When you find yourself thinking about him just write down every thought you've had so you can get it out and then find something else to do (paint your nails, surf the net, read, etc.). Do this everytime you start thinking about him. You also need to realise it's going to take a while for you to get over him, start imagining yourself a few months into the future where you're no longer thinking about him, but focusing on something or someone else.
I'm sorry, but that title should be "rears its head". this way...just sounds perverted. maybe I have a dirty mind.
Don't talk to him anymore. If you're still jealous, you need more time apart.
That just means you still like him. Everyone gets jealous, just try to get over that if you can.
I used to feel that way, but later, I found a new guy and forgot about him. that's how I resolved it.
Its normal.. The best way I would think of would be not to talk to him anymore.. The only friend I have where I live is my boyfriend so If I were int he same situation.. Id most likely feel the same.
Here we go again. "Burn bridges, cut ties, forget".
"Move on"
Some people here are so full of shit.
move on 'cuz he obviously did.. i been in that situation.. it was not healthy at all..
i'm like that too...it's ok. i think some jealousy is ok but don't dwell in it.
First off, you have a "right" to feel every emotion. Whether or not it's healthy is a different story. In this situation, it clearly isn't. You pretty much have two (reasonable) choices:
1. Cut off ties for good this time;
2. Work through your jealousy, but do it on your own time. He should absolutely not be your sounding board. Moving on seems reasonable if you're broken up, and you've been broken up months. He is doing nothing wrong.
It's just a matter of figuring out if the work is worth it, for you. It's most likely going to continue feeling bad for a while and there's no quick fix. You're going to have to sit through your emotions (I think that actually letting yourself feel your emotions and getting to the core of why you're having them is paramount to getting through anything unpleasant) and find some coping mechanisms that are personally worthwhile. Things like this don't hurt forever, but they can very easily hurt for far too long.
currently on the same situation. it's hard. really.
Sometimes it just happens. It might even happen if you don't talk to him.
It means that you aren't truly over him. Speaking from experience, some relationships need to end completely. Ex's are such for a reason. I can count on less than one hand the number of ex's that I keep in contact with. Regardless of the unresolved issues and feelings, it won't help to keep in contact with him.
This is what you can do: Go back to school and learn how to write. Then, stop talking to your ex and move on with your life.
Well, one sure way of preventing this jealousy is to just stop talking to him. Talking to an ex makes it harder to move on. Another way is to just go out and have fun with friends, or do something to occupy your time. Make yourself busy so that you don't have time to get jealous. Lastly, it takes time to get over these things. Whether or not you were in a long-term relationship, it takes time to heal. I hope things get better for you.
I think what you are feeling is normal and here's why. When I left my husband (almost 4 yrs ago now) we remained in touch. He got jealous when I dated and vice versa. I recently discovered he is now with my best (ex) friend and when I 1st found out the jealousy in me raged like hormones on roids. But, I am in, and plan on staying in the the relationship I have now. I am the happiest I've ever been. So why the jealousy? I believe it's because at one time we were in love with these people. We separated from them for whatever reason but still in some small way loved them. I also believe you can love someone deeply but not like them nor live with them...which was my case. I am still in touch with my ex (my choice) but the jealousy has disappeared. I realized if I have the right to be happy so does he! Get out and find YOUR happiness! If you let it, jealousy will drag you down, leave you feeling depressed etc...is it worth that? You have been given some very sound adivce from these people...take it and good luck :)
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Being jealous doesn't mean you're not over him. It just means that you want to feel like you're better than that girl. It's kind of a competition. The feeling of being replaced makes everyone jealous.
Just don't talk to him. The past is the past, no need to maintain it.
"I say burn all your bridges while you still have control of the flame" - Evans Blue
Everyone says not to talk to him, but to be honest, it seems kind of like he wanted to make you jealous. You guys can talk, just avoid topics like this.
What part of this, "When he told me, he spoke of a guy he and his friends were going to kill due to him trying to get with a 16 year old girl, some guy trying to sell stuff, and a crowd surfing incident. ", makes you want to have anything more to do with him...AT ALL????
Stay safely away from him..and the girl??? forget about her!!!!! ..But go to the police and tell you your boyfriend's plans . Someone needs to warn her and it should be the police.
Just sayin'!!!!!!