Wednesday, 09 November 2011

• Advice Needed on Cheating Situation

  

  This is going to be long. It is worth the read though. I am in need of some advice, but I need to give a full backstory.

  
  

  CHLOE: I'm 17. I am a small town girl who moved to the city to pursue my goal of becoming an accountant. I'm at college for accounting. People think I am crazy because I can easily entertain myself if I'm given an accounting problem. Like real entertainment. I've spent a Saturday night just doing accounting because I didn't want to do anything else. But anyways, that's irrelevant to why I am writing.

   

  AUSTIN: I have a wonderful boyfriend of a year and 5 months named Austin. For most of the relationship, we loved each other on a long-distance basis. Since I moved to the city, we lived a lot closer and are able to see each multiple times a week - much better than once every other month.

  We met in the oddest way. One day I was with a friend of mine in my high school gym. That day was a lucky day because we had the portable rock wall set up. This was in Grade 11. I hadn't taken gym this year so I wasn't authorized to climb the tall walls. My friend and I went on to the boulder wall, which is short but the goal is go around in a circle. There were multiple phone numbers and names on the wall. I was able to clearly read a couple of them. I sent both of them messages. One of those guys was Austin.

  We started talking a lot. I remember he asked me to see a nude picture of me. I thought he was different than everyone else who had been using me around that time. I sent him a picture, it's not like he knew any of the same people I did. He wouldn't be able to ruin me, no big deal.

  We continuously were talking and we were really hitting it off.

  After about 6 months of texting back and forth, with plenty of sexy pictures included, we decided to go against all odds and love each other. A couple days later, we made it official. We were dating and so full of love.

  It took us two months after that to meet each other. I remember being so nervous. I didn't know what to say. I was flipping a shit. We went to watch a movie; I can't even remember what it was. We were glued to each other, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him and he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. Long story short, I ended up giving him head in the back of the movie theatre. On the first date. Why not?

  After meeting this first time, our doubts had left that we wouldn't like each other in real life. The next time we were together, we went to an amusement park. I went on rides I have always been scared of and so did he.

  Our third time together, he visited me in my hometown. Being the horny children that we are, we took it upon ourselves to find a place where we could be together. My house was a definite no. His hotel was a definite no. Coming from experience, I knew that this one bridge had a very comfortable spot underneath it. It was November, so it was very cold. But the bridge kept us warm. We had sex. I had had sex before but he was a virgin. Oh and just to be clear, Austin and I always use condoms.

   

  MIKE: Mike was a friend of mine from high school. He liked me a lot. He spoiled me rotten. I would mention I needed something (a new iPod for example) and he would do his best to get it to me at the lowest cost possible. He had gotten me a new iPod touch for only $150, but I only was able to give him $100 at the time. He was fine with this because he believed I'd pay him back one way or another.

  One night, I was at his house watching a movie. He came on to me and I didn't stop him even though I was with Austin. Mike must have been with some fucked up girls if he thought I was 100% willing and then enjoying it. He fucked me. I was angry that he would do that. I used him to give me a ride to see Austin and then completely stopped talking to him.

   

  GUILT: I have a guilty conscience. After what happened with Mike, I knew I wouldn't be able to maintain a healthy relationship with Austin if I kept it a secret. Austin was so hurt. I felt so bad and I knew I was going to lose him. Fortunately, he forgave me because he trusts that I wouldn't do anything like that on purpose.

   

  ETHAN: During my senior year of high school, I worked at a pizza shop. Ethan was an employee there. His sister and I were friends. I had hooked up with his cousin a year or two ago. I had also hooked up with one of Ethan's close friends on and off for four years.

  Ethan had it set in his mind that I was easy and down to fuck. While at work with him, I made it clear that I had a boyfriend. But apparently, my uniform just screams sex appeal. (This is totally not true. There was nothing sexy about that outfit.)

  The store was dead one night, so I went home early. I went to the back room to grab my coat and bag. Ethan had followed me back. I was facing away from him, so I did not see it coming.

  Before I knew it, he was underneath my shirt and I could feel his dick grinding in my ass. I told him to stop and that I didn't want to do anything because I have a boyfriend. I struggled to get his hands off of me, but it didn't work. Then he decided he'd put one of his disgusting hands down my pants. (On the bright side, I hadn't shaved in a couple weeks.) Fortunately, the door beeped signaling someone had entered the store before anything else could happen.

  I didn't tell anybody other than Austin. He tried so hard to convince me to call the police or tell my boss. I didn't think it'd work and I didn't want my parents to find out. It happened again. But then Ethan found a better job. I haven't talked to him since.

   

  ONLINE: Austin and I used to play this game for iPod touch, Kingdoms at War. I was one of few girls in our "clan." This meant I got a lot of attention from the multiple men in the group. I am a sucker for sweet talk and I absolutely love getting compliments about my naked body. And remember, these are people I don't know. They don't know anybody I know, they can't fuck up my life. Nude pictures are absolutely okay to send, right?

  Wrong. I had sent too many and I started to get that guilty conscience again. I told Austin. Again, he was hurt. I think he was more hurt this time because it wasn't physically cheating. I was sending naked pictures to strangers. I wasn't sending them to Austin. That was the only way I could help get him off at the time.

  He forgave me again with the promise that I wouldn't do it anymore. I still do occasionally when I'm bored.

   

  ZACH: Zach was my very first boyfriend. I dated him when I was 12 for 9 months. I think that’s a pretty big accomplishment, especially at such a young age. For about 8 months of the relationship, we did almost nothing different from our previous friendship. We occasionally held hands and we hung out outside of school more often.

  Zach was the ultimate bad boy at the time. He didn't give a fuck what the teachers said. I started stealing money from my parents so that I could be cool for him. I also started sneaking out at 2 o'clock in the morning to see Zach. My first time sneaking out was also the first time I was ever felt up. After that first incident, we continued to get more adventurous with what we were doing together. He was the first person to finger me. He was the first dick I touched, although I didn't like touching it so he kept it in his boxers.

  We went through a rough patch and then he found out he was moving. He left on a bad note. We hardly talked after that. I moved to the city for school as I had said earlier. This city just so happens to be where Zach had moved. I updated my status saying that I had finally moved in. He commented and told me to party up.

   

  PARTY: Before moving to the city, I never partied. I had one sip of beer in my life and I decided it was nasty. I had friends who smoked weed, but after I felt it was going too far I stopped talking to them. It's a lovely day when you think the person that is your best friend brings you to chill at her dealer's house. When she knows you're against weed.

  Moving to the city I was excited because of my newfound freedom. I could do whatever the hell I wanted and not have to deal with my parent's consequences.

  So what did I do? I sent Zach an inbox, asking him which part of the city he lived in. We made plans. He was coming over with a 26er of Irish Mist that I was paying for.

   

  DRUNK: We drank. I drank. I got drunk. I learned that I like to live in denial when drunk. Zach would be like "Oh Chloe! You're so drunk!" and I would quickly reply in the most serious tone ever, "No Zach. I am not drunk. You're drunk." Then I would stumble away drunkenly. I actually had to crawl one time. We finished the 26er in one night.

  We were watching a movie together on the couch. I wanted to get comfy, so I laid down, resting my head on his lap. For some reason, I don't remember why, we repositioned so that we were spooning on the couch. He started to play with my hair and ran his fingers along my neck. I turned my head around and I kissed him.

  I don't know if it was the booze or Zach. But I had the hottest make-out session with him. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. He could tell I had grown up from the girl who didn't like touching dicks. We went down to my room and I had the best sex of my life (at the time, I've had better now.)

   

  REPEAT: I woke up with no guilt. It was odd. I was expecting it this time, but it wasn't there. I think it's because I knew Austin wouldn't be able to forgive me for this. I told myself that this time I would keep it a secret, no matter what.

  Over the next couple of months, I visited Zach frequently. He was with me when I smoked my first joint. I think because of the overall "bad-ness" to the relationship it made it easier to keep it away from Austin. Zach and I continued to have sex most nights we were together. I still have no guilt.

   

  JARED: Jared is a friend from my high school who went to the same college as me, for the same program. We had never really hung out aside from during school hours. I invited him over one day and we had a good, innocent time.

  After he went home, he was texting me all night how he wished that he could have been with me, sexually. He flat out told me that the next time we're together, shit is going down. This lovely gentleman has a girlfriend back in our home town.

  He came over and shit went down as promised. We didn't have sex, but I gave him head. We don't talk as much anymore, but we do keep in touch. I don't have any guilt in it, although I don't think it was worth it. His dick just wasn't as good as I had gotten used to with Austin.

   

  ISSUE: Before all of the current issues with Zach and Jared happened, I had been feeling not too happy with the way the relationship was going with Austin. I think this is why I decided to cheat (along with the booze...).

  Currently, my relationship with Austin is better than it ever has been and I secretly am thanking my choice to cheat. It made me a stronger person and helped me realise that I can't be happy with anyone aside from Austin. Zach turned out to be a complete asshole, stealing various things from me and convincing me to spend all my money (which isn't even my money thanks to student loans!). I no longer talk to him. As said before, Jared reduced how much he talked to me after our encounter.

   

  QUESTION: I am worried that one day Austin will find about this. I am also worried that if one day he asks me to marry him, I don't think I would be able to say yes. I do not plan on cheating again, but knowing that I did wouldn't sit well with me.

  What I want to know is if you think it is worth it for me to tell Austin now and not take the risk of him finding out by himself. If Austin doesn't turn out to be my life partner, do you believe that anybody would be willing to give me a chance at love, knowing what I have done to a guy in the past? Any other comments about the situation are greatly appreciated!

  Image Source

  • 5:00 PM
  • 8732 Views
  • 204 eProps
  • 131 Comments