Wednesday, 09 November 2011
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Her Boyfriend Fantasizes About Me?!
For some background info, I go to a cosmetology college with thirty or so females and only one guy. Surprisingly enough, mostly all of us get along well and everything goes smoothly. There's occasionally a little bit of bickering now and then, but that's as far as it goes. Well, the Saturday before Halloween everyone was allowed to wear their costumes for the holiday and so this is what I wore:
Now, the rules for our costumes were no butts, bellies, boobs, or armpits, which is also the dress code for anything we are allowed to wear. To me, my costume was school appropriate and I also had it approved by my school's administrator before I wore it that day. Anyway, the day went on as usual and my friend's (let's call my friend Brittany) boyfriend came in to bring Brittany lunch like he normally does for her once in awhile. On a side note, I have NEVER talked to Brittany's boyfriend or even been properly introduced to him. He's just kind of there.
Well, he dropped her lunch off to her in the break room that day and I just so happened to be in there by myself on my phone. He nodded at me and smiled, so being a friendly person I did the same and didn't think anything of it.
That was until after that weekend I came into school and Brittany came up to me and said, "Remember that costume you wore on Saturday? My boyfriend pretended to be having sex with you while you wore that outfit as we were making love."
WHOA WHOA WHOA. What?! I immediately shook my head at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Her boyfriend basically fantasized about me in a Halloween costume and "had sex" with me? That is something you don't hear everyday. She repeated herself once more and explained that it was no big deal to her, which if it didn't bother her then it shouldn't bother me. And if that was the case, then I decided to not let it bother me considering 1.) I don't associate myself with her boyfriend, 2.) Brittany and I don't hang out together outside of school, 3.) if her boyfriend is fantasizing about other women, then that is her problem. Not mine. And 4.) Brittany is 9 years older than me, which puts her at 11 years older than my boyfriend.
The next couple of days went well with Brittany making small jokes about how her boyfriend had "non-consensual sex" with me. I mostly laughed it off and let it go. That was until my boyfriend arrived at the school to pick me up and give me a ride home. I had a few minutes until school was over, so he just waited in the lobby area for me. Once it was time for me to leave, I went out into the front and saw Brittany trying to flirt with my boyfriend, who looked rather uncomfortable. I instantly went over to them and calmly asked Brittany what she was doing.
Her reply: "My boyfriend fantasizes about you, so I think it is okay if I flirt with your boyfriend." First off, NONE of that is okay with me. Second, how is that even justified?! I gave Brittany a dirty look and left with my boyfriend.
Now, I have another problem. My boyfriend feels a bit upset (not with me) that Brittany's boyfriend is thinking of me in that way. I quickly reassured him that he has nothing to worry about and that Brittany's relationship is a bit out of the ordinary. He is fine at the moment and brushed it off, so I thought that would be the end of it.
I was clearly mistaken. Every time Brittany's boyfriend comes into the school I do my best to avoid him at all cost, considering this past Tuesday he saw me and once he left Brittany told me to stop dressing like a slut so her boyfriend wouldn't check me out.
What am I supposed to do? Brittany (with all of her crazy quirks and strange ways of thinking) is really a good friend deep down, but I don't know how to handle this situation when I have never spoken to her boyfriend or have done nothing to make him think of me in that way.
Has anyone ever been fantasized about? Or maybe you've fantasized about someone? Advice?
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- From: vividepiphany@xanga
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I hope he yelled "I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU" when he finished and that's how she found out he was thinking of you :3
Everyone have fantasies and to be blunt and honest most of them don't involve the person you're with. It's not a big deal at all. Maybe she's not so cool with it but I just think is childish to pretend that your man or yourself only fantasize about eachother, kind'a boring too.
CRAZAII BITTCHH!!!
Stay away from her and her boyfriend. He's a creeper, she's in denial, and I'd have kicked her boyfriend's ass a long time ago.
@xXxlovelylollipop@xanga - I think mostly of my boyfriend and it's been five years. Another person is SERIOUSLY the odd thought out and mostly weird sex dreams that skeev me out. We have an extremely healthy sexual relationship and absolutely adore being with eachother...because some people get bored with their SO's, I wouldn't necessarily judge or put a generalization on that, OR call OP weird for her way of thinking.
Most girls would find a friend talking about her boyfriend fantasizing about them odd. You seem to be the minority there.
You don't have to, nor should you, do anything about the situation. You aren't involved in Brittany's relationship. If she has a problem with her boyfriend's fantasies she needs to talk to him about it and leave you and your boyfriend alone, end of story.
@raedium@xanga - It's just a matter of age, women are not allowed by their role to admit they fantasize at all lol I'm just to old to pretend someone is my whole universe.
Wow your life is a bit whacky right now. This woman seems to have some self-esteem issues or something. I feel that your costume was ADORABLE. Even if you dressed like a slut it is not your fault if her boyfriend fantasizes about you. That is their problem. It has nothing to do with you. Tell her to deal with her own problems.
She also had no right to flirt with your boyfriend. That's just rude. Seems like she was jealous.
You need to tell "Brittany" that if she has a problem with her boyfriend fantasizing about you then she needs to take it up with him, not you. YOU have nothing to do with the fact that her boyfriend thinks your attractive, you shouldn't have to make yourself disgusting looking just so he doesn't mentally cheat with you.
Sounds like "Brittany" has some insecurities. I would also tell her that if you catch her flirting with your man again that you'll take action. There is NO way I'd let that shit fly.
@raedium@xanga - thinking about your SO doesn't not constitutes a fantasy
She sounds like she is having trouble with her boyfriend. If he really is openly having sex with her and actively thinking about someone else, that depends entirely on her. If she is ok with it, she needs to be open and honest about it. If she is not, she needs to come clean.
Either way, it sounds like you are now uncomfortable with it. That means you should tell her that and tell her boyfriend to stop thinking about you (if even possible). If that doesn't work, I really would avoid her and him. That is the most simplistic and effective way to cut this out. If you don't do it soon, it will get worse!
Good luck!
there is nothing you are doing to make brittany's boyfriend want you, you don't even talk to him!
I would just try to avoid both of them... her boyfriend is creepy and brittany sounds crazy.... good luck!
I guess I would just avoid them in the future, it seems Brittany is more ill at ease with it than she pretends to be... and as for the insult by telling you, you dress slutty, blow it off. Apparently she is jealous a little bit that he fantasizes about you. All weirdness in their relationship aside, it should not affect you in the least. Don't let them make you feel uncomfortable, it has nothing ot do with you and everything to do with them and their relationship. I would probably not even talk with her anymore since she seems to now blame you for his BS.
Honestly it is not abnormal to fantasize about strangers, they are not people that youhang out with or even talk to. i find that most people fantasize about actors/actresses or complete strangers, someone they put togethe rin their dreams. I have noticed though that while I do have fantasies they mostly all involve my SO. We have a great sex life, right now it is a little slow because of the kids being constantly there, so I have noticed more fantasy dreams popping up.
None of this is your fault. And Brittany is NOT a good friend, deep down. Do not even think of her as a friend, friends do not say and do those kinds of things. She started the whole problem by telling you any of it. She should have ditched the guy, but no, she decided to make you the problem in her relationship.
You don't need to do anything except avoid them as much as possible. Tell her to stop talking about her boyfriend's fixation on you.
Stop the Oscar winning drama act...you know you would be the subject of male fantasies.
It was proven in my mind just now...you crazy bumble bee (or whatever the hell you are).
I learned one thing from this post: BITCHES BE CRAZY.
HOT DAMN.
i understand the need to be possessive and everything but you said your boyfriend was uncomfortable with the advances she made on him. that makes me think that it's already kinda resolved itself.
Why the fuck would she even tell you in the first place? And why would HE tell her? They're both completely insane. Tell her that you don't care to hear about their sex life.
This Brittny chick sounds WAY crazy. No friend would flirt with your bf. Avoid her like plutonium. Don't make a scene... just calmly and politely move your social sphere away from her. Have lunches with other people. Don't engage in lengthy conversations... just let the friendship whither and die.
Because, ... sheesh. If I had to guess, I'd say that her bf doesn't really regard you one way or the other. She just made up a story to justify flirting with your bf. Dump this chick like the poison she is.
so he fantasizes about someone dressed in a pikachu costume and pikachu is originally a male character
at first it seems too creepy. but the black skirt with white apron and lace does resemble a maid costume, so pikachu is dressed as a maid
anyway, I've fantasized about other guys momentarily, but they weren't dressed in a costume. it was more just like a quick, wow, he's hot
my boss, for example, is so good looking and sexy that I'm speechless when he's near me
all I can think about is how dreamy he is
he said a casual, "hello." to me the other week and omg lol I don't think about him all day or anything. I don't even think about my own bf a lot. I have other things to do and my job requires detailed attention. I don't tell anyone of course, except here
in your friend's case, that was different though because it was in the context of having sex:D
@testyman666@xanga - Pikachu
OP:
I'd stop talking and associating with her. It would make your life so much easier, seriously.
damn someone's insecure. like many of the other commenters; stop talking to her. associating yourself with her will only entail alot of drama. you should not have to change the way you dress to have her bf stop fantasizing about you and she has a peace of mind. nor is she a good friend if she believes it's justifiable to make herself feel better by flirting with your bf. god so messed up
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You could tell your boyfriend that you think the guy is creepy. That usually reassures a person that you're not interested at all and have no intention of anything.
To Brittany: you could tell her it's not your problem and that's something the couple has to figure out and sort. It seems Brittany's boyfriend has issues and their relationship has some flaws. It's not your problem and you should be free to dress whatever you like. Don't take her crap on you and she shouldn't hit on your boyfriend just because HER boyfriend is into you. It's not your fault.
is she dating ash ketchum?