Tuesday, 08 November 2011
-
Body Shaming Used to Promote Infidelity
As you may have read, recently the adultery website Ashley Madison placed a controversial ad in the New York Metro. The ad displays a scantily-clad overweight woman, lying down and posing in lingerie with the caption "Did your wife scare you last night?" As the article "Is Your Wife Fat? Try Adultery!" on Jezebel discusses, the ad implies that fat people are frightening, and that this is grounds for cheating on them.
In an interesting follow-up, the model from the actual ad wrote a piece in response. Jacqueline is a plus-sized model who runs her own BBW website, and this shot was taken early in her career in an informal session. Since she was just starting out, she was unaware that the photographer would sell the picture to stock photo corporations, in which her image was since used in mocking and cruel ways.
Jacqueline was mortified that her image would be used to promote infidelity, and more so body shaming, both of which she is vehemently opposed to. Many people find Ashley Madison, a business based solely on the facilitation of infidelity in marriages, morally reprehensible. But implicating that if a person's body is not ideal, his or her partner is entitled to cheat, creates additional problematic associations.
She writes, "There is an enormous problem in this world in regards to female body shaming, and not solely in regard to fat women, but all women. A size 2 woman who sees this ad sees the message: 'If I don't stay small, he will cheat'. A size 12 woman might see this ad and think 'if I don't lose 30lbs, he will cheat'. A size 32 woman could see this ad, and feel 'I will never find love'. It's horrific. Not all women are necessarily insecure, but it's no secret that body insecurity is endemic, regardless of size."
Ultimately, I think what disturbs me most about this advertisement is that Ashley Madison blames the act of cheating on a woman's body, as opposed to the person incapable of loyalty and commitment, and the person committing the act of infidelity.
Read the article here.
What do you think? How do you feel about sites like Ashley Madison, and what do you think of this advertisement?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: RachelG
- Name: Rachel
- Location: New York City, New York, United States
- About Me: A recent 23 year old NYC transplant. In college I studied Creative Writing, Gender Studies, and Art History, which clearly translates into a trifecta of professional desirability. I can often be found reading, writing, playing very sloppy guitar, eating peanut butter, and swapping love life stories with my friends due to our plethora of failed relationships. I was voted Funniest Girl in high school, and am perpetually attempting to drop that in casual conversations without having it appear that I am still desperately clinging to it (which, let's face it, I am).
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 27 Views: 0 100688 Comments: 0 1100 View all posts by RachelG
Comments (126)
Okay I completely hate adultery I really do, but I have to say that the way you look it's important and reflects the way you feel and care about you. If you don't care enough to take care of your body, keep yourself healthy and fit, well I wonder what other areas of your life you're neglecting? Someone with an overweight is porbably struggling with selfsteem issues because if you love yourself what makes you able to be loved by someone else, you care for your body.
The website and this whole ordeal just really depress me. I can't believe it's gotten to this.
WHY IS THIS COMPANY STILL AROUND!??! Are people really that fucking sleazy that they cannot just stay in a marriage? This is disgusting.
This company is completely disgusting, and I can't believe they're still pulling this crap. Honestly. Men & Women who use their services should be ashamed - if you don't want to be in your marriage, don't be in it! But at least be honest about it.... >.>"
"Ultimately, I think what disturbs me most about this advertisement is that Ashley Madison blames the act of cheating on a woman's body, as opposed to the person incapable of loyalty and commitment, and the person committing the act of infidelity."
This is how I feel.
Ridiculous. Being heavy or thin for that matter wouldn't prevent a guy from cheating on you if that's what he wanted to do. I have thin/slim and quite attractive friends and they've been cheated on. Some more than once.
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga -
Agreed!
As always people are trying to put all the blame on anything other than their own self where it belongs!
Is this company serious, or is it a sarcastic joke aimed to make fun of infidelity? I'm going to check out the website, although it may remove the last shred of hope I have that people aren't this indecent....
Either way, using body shaming to justify infidelity is simply disgusting and in the opposite direction that we should be moving. Why is our society so hell-bent on stressing the importance of superficiality? I'm sick of it.
I think that cheating is always unacceptable, but I do not think it is unreasonable for someone to leave a marriage because their husband or wife is obese. If you are with someone that you can longer find attraction in and are sexually repulsed by, you really ought to leave. It has nothing to do with fat versus skinny. Sex and attraction play a major role in the marriage dynamic, and if you don't find your partner attractive that will create a myriad of other problems. I'm sorry, but if I ever marry a guy who ends up becoming a fat slob with a beer belly, I'm done.
I think if he runs away, (or she from he for that matter) it would be in anticipation of the enormous medical bills for diabetes, skin, chemical imbalances, heart problems, cosmetic procedures etc etc.
I find it funny that all the females, including the author of this post, who have responded are
notobese yet all of them are getting upset over the advertisement.
@TomTea@xanga - maybe it's because you don't have to be obese to appreciate the fact that everyone deserves the same high fidelity, love, and compassion from their romantic partner, regardless of body type.
Molestation by corrupting the already morally immature audiences that are easily influenced by shows and articles of appaulling behavior of Ashley Madison's Jezebel website - Tv shows Sister's wifes - Bridezilla. Go sell it the warzones.
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - I agree with you on that one
Thats just WRONG! Cheating has nothing to do with how a person looks.. Unless they are super shallow, but people like that dont deserve to be in relationships to begin with...
I checked out that site and the grossest thing is, they have single women sign up looking for married men. WTF
I think that's just awful. First of all, they are using someone's image to promote something she doesn't believe in, and secondly, they are taking all responsibility away from the cheaters.
Yes, a person should try to be attractive to their partner, but just because your partner doesn't do that for you doesn't mean you should cheat. I think if you're in a relationship with someone, you owe it to them to either try to work out your issues or if you can't, then tell them it's over, rather than cheating on them.
I find that the only person responsible in cheating is the person that DECIDED to cheat. I have been through an adulterous marriage. My ex-husband was not the best husband, hence the reason we are not married. And it was early on. I find that when ads like this come out it makes me feel sad for the person posting it and how shallow and vile they must be to rely on their looks and the fact that there are men and women alike out there that are just as shallow and false that would actually go to those lengths and hurt others around them just to get what they want... but wait... thats the entire world. It is such common behavior anymore that when people hear about it they blow it off and it is not until ads such as these show up that everyone gets offended.
Its disgusting, but honestly, we have no one to blame but ourselves/society because it has become an acceptable form of advertisement. Think about it... will this be an issue next week when this ad has passed on and there is another one in its place? Most of us will just forget about it after reading this. How many of us will actually start up a petition to clean this crap up or to get it removed completely... what about tv that shows showing cheating or callous disregard for women and men alike? Society is full of miscreants... that will actually answer this ad.
that's just sad. this website has no morals, obviously, so it doesn't surprise me they'd shame bodies in their ads as well.
@GagaMonster -Well, if you consider for a moment that every female who has responded are not obese yet the advertisement's main target audience, while true that it is directed towards women, but more specifically, fat women, the person(s) getting upset shouldn't be skinny and/or fit women like yourself. Rather, the ones who should be getting angry and upset about it are women who look just like the advertisement.
If you consider further for a moment, you and the other women who fit the "skinny, slender" model established by a patriarchal society, you gals have nothing to worry about precisely for the reason that you're not fat. And why did you choose to be skinny relative to being fat? Surely, there is a reason other than for health and fitness reasons, which play a very small role in a typical person's overall life. You chose to remain skinny because men in this visual-centric society created by media (also primarily men in the business) made it such that "skinny, slender" women are the model women that men ought to chase after and you're (like other women here) just following that model subconsciously.
It's subconsciously transmitted to you via media since your childhood and adolescent years--a sort of subtle, covert brainwashing, if you will. When was the last time you held a figurine, like a Barbie doll, that was morbidly obese and considered attractive to other kids in the same age? Never! When was the last time you saw a cutesy cartoon as a kid where the character was morbidly obese and considered attractive in this cartoon? Never! They were always the butt of jokes! When was the last adolescent TV show that had a morbidly obese girl character that was all rage for the boys in high school and had every boy chasing after her to date her? Never! She was always the girl that was a "good friend" but never good enough for dating or sexual relations. You've been subconsciously brainwashed to think this without ever realizing it.
So who are you to tell fat women how they ought to feel and think about themselves and their weight?
Everything about this is disgusting. Promoting body shaming and cheating? Classy!
@GagaMonster - Amen!
@TomTea - As a typical "skinny" commenter who is unhappy with this article, I have overweight friends (one in particular with several health problems that prevent her from exercising, though she eats incredibly healthy) and this friend in particular often feels as though she is unlovable because of her weight and as her friend, I wish she didn't feel that way. The idea she has is perpetuated by body shaming, as seen in things such as that article. I think my "skinny" self is allowed to be saddened by this, for the sake of my friend and others like her. Thats my two cents.
For once on Datingish, this is a really, really well written and substantiated article. Kudos to the author.
Anyway, I can't believe that the sites like Ashley Madison even EXIST. It is shameful, really. Not only that, but it is also sexist to assume that women are the only unappealing significant others. This all makes me very angry, disappointed, and disgusted. I'm not even going to bother thinking, "What has this world come to?"
@TomTea - I responded and I'm obese. :)
Hubbs cheated on the last girls he was with (an almost 5 year relationship) over 150 times. She was skinny, smart, came from a wealthy family & did everything he wanted. He is now with me & because he actually LOVES me we've gone through the super hard process of change. He's not cheated on me a single time. I am overweight, & has gained more (through 1.5 pregnancies) since our relationship began. Men who cheat don't do it because of how their partner looks or because of what she lacks, they do it because HE is lacking something. If he is cheating on you because of how much you weigh he doesn't love you & never will. The ad simply plays off of the way women think, that if we are heavy we can never be loved & good enough which simply is not true.
Fashion
Accessories
Nike Dunk SB
Shoes
Nike air Jordan
shoes
nike air max
shoes
Nike Air Shox
shoes
Nike
basketball shoes
Nike air Yeezy
shoes
Nike Ken
Griffey JR Shoes
Nike soccer
shoes
RADII
Footwear
Burberry
Shoes
Gucci
sneakers
Polo Shoes
Supra shoes
nike air
force one shoes
Adidas Shoes
Cole haan
Fashion
Prada shoes
MBT shoes
Louis Vuitton
shoes
Tods shoes
High heel
shoes
Karen Millen
Timberland
boots
CL Men Shoes
Shmack Shoes
Puma Shoes
Vlado Shoes
ATO Matsumoto
shoes
Vibram
FiveFingers
Men jeans
clothing
Women jeans
clothing
Ed Hardy
Hoodies
Men T-shirt
Clothing
Women T-shirt
Clothing
Men long
sleeve t-shirt
Women long
sleeve t-shirt
AAA Brand
Handbags
bags &
handbags & luggage