Tuesday, 08 November 2011

• E.D. and Dating

  
  My boyfriend and I have been together almost 17 months now and it wasn’t until about a month into dating him that he confided in me that he had ED. He said he was embarrassed, felt unmanly and would understand if I didn’t want to be with him. Up until that point he had always made sure he had “the pill” with him so as not to be caught short (or limp) so I didn’t notice he even had ED.

  Before he and I met he was in a relationship that lasted almost 2 years and although she knew of his condition they never actually talked about it. I encouraged him to explain how ED works and reassured him that if things “went south” it was really no big deal, that there were other ways to make love besides intercourse, but from a man’s perspective there was nothing like “burying it balls deep.” I guess at that point I was focusing on him having an orgasm and not the “how to get there” part.

  At any rate over time, we experimented (took some encouraging) with masturbation while we watched one another which I discovered drove him wild and he was able to get and stay erect for a short period of time and then have an orgasm. Eventually we were able to have foreplay, masturbate ourselves and each other and have penetration. The first few times we attempted this it failed and he had to resort to “Palmula” to get himself off.

  He was embarrassed and apologetic…neither of which was necessary in my mind, but as a man he felt he had failed. I reassured him he was not a failure because in the end we both had an orgasm(s) which was why we make love in the first place. How we get there made no difference to me.

  As time went on we did some research and discovered Folic Acid was not only great for the libido (he has plenty of that) but for ED as well. As the months went by we discovered he was not only able to obtain an erection but also orgasm during intercourse, although he could not last long before he erupted.  We experimented with what really turned him on, the best time of the day, what he ate, etc. I should mention he is a type 2 diabetic and he controls his sugar levels by eating low carb foods.

  On the days he ate a lot of carbs his erection went away. Today it’s not uncommon to have intercourse 3 or 4 times a week without the use of Viagra but when we want it to last into the wee hours of the morning I simply hand him with a glass of water, the blue pill and say, “It’s gonna be a long night.”

  ED is nothing to be ashamed of and a good partner will reassure him that love making comes in many forms and intercourse is only one form. We are successful with this condition because we talk about it openly and experiment. He has done the hardest part…convincing himself that ED is not a life sentence and if “Bobo” doesn’t cooperate he is no less the man I fell in love with.

  How have you dealt with erectile dysfunction?

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