As I scrolled through my daily mixture of sites this morning, one article caught my attention:
Shockingly, Liking Nickelback Will Not Get You LaidI clicked because I wanted to see the reasoning (as though Nickelback being a terrible band was not reason enough, but hey, that's just my opinion) and I was not very surprised at what I found.
"The dating site Tastebuds.fm asked 1,600 users for their biggest "musical turnoff." Nickelback led the pack, followed closely by Justin Bieber. The rest of the top 10: Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Coldplay, U2, Creed, Katy Perry, Lil Wayne and Britney Spears."Now, of course, I don't take this survey very seriously because, honestly, hating a preference is a little immature.
It's very much the same as writing off someone because they like a certain sports team that you don't like, or the way someone eats their steak compared to yours. Then again, it is human nature to be a little bit cautious about certain likes that someone else possess.
Then there is the rationalization of what kind of music you like and how others see you. Did you originally start liking one genre of music simply just to "fit in?" I know I did back in middle school. The hottest music back then was rap and hip hop. I never really got into it, but being the new kid in the district and an Asian who would automatically be stereotyped as being a nerd, I wanted to belong. So, I started listening to artists like Nelly, DMX, Dr. Dre, and so on.
I didn't really venture out on my own tastes until 8th - 9th grade. From that point on, a lot of what I've been listening to was rock and metal.
I learned that my music tastes were not there to impress anyone else. After all, why should you allow someone else to tell you what you listen to is cool or uncool?
Of course, people would like to share similar music tastes so they have much more to converse about. I would love for a girl who is open to listening to my music and go to shows with me to experience it. I would hold up my end and do the same for them.
I also started thinking about times when taste in music really was a driving force in a relationship. One of my best friends dated a girl who loved country music back in the day. He HATED country music. On the way over to my house, the girlfriend wanted to play country in his car, but he refused to let her play it. They started arguing and when they got to my house, they continued arguing. She got really upset and started bawling her eyes out as he just stood there and rolled his eyes.
The general rule of thumb I played was if we were driving in my car, I would play my music; in her car, we play her music. I learned to tolerate their music and they learned to tolerate mine.
For me, choice of music is not a deal breaker. I would ask to change the station if the music is horrendous enough that I don't want to listen to it, but I wouldn't break up with someone just because they like Justin Bieber. If they don't like my music, I would gladly change to someone that's easier for them to listen to if they ask nicely.
Just remember, music is a preference and everyone is entitled to listen to whatever they like.
Is the type of music someone listens to a deal breaker for you? How do you tolerate "horrible music?"
Recommend
Comments (50)
Haha I can understand this. I try to listen to everything, but I do associate some acts with negative things. Country music represents a certain type culture in America, so I can see why some people wouldn't like it.
I wrote a post on this http://punkrockcowboy.xanga.com/756063886/music-is-culture-expressed/
"Just remember, music is a preference and everyone is entitled to listen to whatever they like."
That's all there is to say RIGHT THERE.
I hate people who act all elitist over the fact that they "listen to better music" Get a life, and let people listen to whatever the hell they LIKE without giving them a hard time!
I don't think I'd ditch a friend or a date over the type of music they like, lol.
That seems pretty intense.
Some people take music taste way too seriously. Obviously some music is better then others but...who cares? Your interests don't make you who you are unless you have no personality. But I wouldn't want to be with a person who judged so harshly on music taste anyhow.
I don't understand the pride in having music as a defining aspect of your identity, nor do I understand why it's somehow acceptable to be so irritable that you can't suffer through occasionally being exposed to something you don't like (and really, it seems like many people on that list are confusing mainstream with poor quality - crafting the perfect pop song is an art). Would I date someone who insisted on putting on music I hate every time we're together? No, but I don't think that's how most people function. At least I hope not.
People are allowed to have whatever dealbreakers they want --after all, it's their penis/vagina/genitalia/life. I dislike it when people get all high-and-mighty about other people's dealbreakers. Like you said, mMusic is a preference, and everyone is indeed entitled to listen to whatever they like --but who you bang/date/marry is also a preference, so everyone is also entitled to turn down whoever they want to turn down for whatever ridiculous reason they choose.
For me, music by itself is not a deal breaker because it's just not that big a deal to me. I'll just put up with it, or if it's really grating on me, I'll ask them to use headphones, or I'll put my own headphones on to drown it out with my own music.
Its not that its a deal breaker for me, it just makes you less attractive if you listen to Nickelback or other music I dont prefer...
Hrm... the only was it is a deal breaker for me is if all he listens to is rap or hip hop or metal. Not that there is anything wrong those genres but I simply can't stand it. So I don't want to have to listen to music I dislike just because a guy. @_@
I guess I'm up the creek being a John Prine and James Taylor kinda guy. Nobody in this generation appreciates real music like that, opting for that rap/hip-hop/R&B/etc. crap that isn't really music but discordant sounds with a beat. Gag me with a fucking spoon.
Then again, in that light, I suppose it is a dealbreaker for me. People my age probably don't like my playing style either, so whatever. Not to mention I'm a crappy singer (even though I try to sing when playing for myself), and who wants to hear someone's voice who sounds like nails on a chalkboard like mine does?
Think about music in light of the music genome project. You're likely going to enjoy certain bands or songs because of very particular themes or aspects of the music. I think, if you look at it in that way, there's nothing dumb about writing someone off because of their predilections (romantically, at least). I mean, if you're of the opinion that Katy Perry's the best musical act in the history of humankind, our artistic tastes are likely never going to mesh. As an artist, I can't go out with someone who doesn't have at least close to similar tastes as me.
After all, a similar question can be made out of other types of art. Could I date someone who legitimately enjoyed Twilight and thinks that Andy Warhol was the greatest artistic mind of the 20th century? No. I'd probably have to bury my pride just to keep anything outside an awkward friendship. And on top of that, am I wrong to be so picky? No. It's my life. I don't date to date, I date to be in a potential relationship. If there's even a remote percent of a chance that I'm going to spend more than a year romantically involved, then I sure as hell don't want to hear about how funny you think Mark Twain is - I hate that guy. Allowing that sort of thing to go on isn't being tolerant or open-minded - it's called masochism.
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - This.
This is all bullshit. A guy is not going to avoid sleeping with a girl just because she likes "shitty" music. If someone was to do this they are totally opinionated and stuck up. Everyone has the right to like their own taste of stuff.
I like music that is considered shitty by people and I have no issues. And I do not go by what kind of music someone likes before I sleep with them.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - Lol Lynn don't be so mean to yourself!
Now wait a minute, liking a particular artist can be a big turnoff, listening to the messege that some of these artists sing can really set a tone for how someone else sees you. Someone singing about waking up to a bottle of jack seems sleasy and is a turnoff. People who get REALLY into to music that REALLY turns me off might turn me off to that person... in any kind of relationship. I tend to think that music, in most, not all cases, reflects personality. Expecially how someone approaches it. IT may not be a deal breaker, but a factor in a decision. I did start taking a certain someone less seriously once they told me they were "in love with yelawolf". I dont like the representation.
Does that mean I feel my music is better? Depends, what is the messege of my music relaying over the messege my friend wants to listen to? Its all subjective to opinion. Does that mean it is literally better? No. Just like how some people are turned off by certain things, music is one of them. My husband admitted to me he could have never dated a woman with curly hair. My best friend can't date a guy the same height as her. If music is a dealbreaker, so be it. If its not, great.
i kind of like all music. i listen to little bits of most things--- usually rock and rap. i used to hate country. but really after this one guy- now i kind of like it... even though at the time id always try to change the station haha. but now i realize they just played horrible songs, some country is rly pretty good and soulful.
i think people just need to be respectful and open. some of the music can grow on you. increased exposure=more chance of liking it.
I love technical death metal. bitches love technical death metal.
I wouldn't stop dating a guy simply because he liked Nickelback, but if he put it in as "make-out" music I'd probably laugh my a$$ off. Same goes for Justin Bieber or Kei$ha or just about anyone on that list.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - One of the cockiest things I hear people say is that the only music that's "real" music is whatever they like. Music is the arrangement of sounds through time. Music by Eminem and Justin Bieber is every bit as "real" as music by James Taylor and John Prine.
With that being said, there's still music I can't stand to listen to, but I wouldn't call it quits with someone because of it. For example, my ex-wife used to make me listen to Christmas music for six weeks out of the year. We split up for other reasons, like how I retaliated by making her listen to Marilyn Manson and Tom Waits for the rest of the year.:P
I think it's going to be a problem if we spend a lot of time together in the car, because that is the place where we are going to be listening to music together. And there are some types of music I truly can't tolerate, though I often really like the people who listen to them.
So it's not that I am holding the music they like against them, I just need to protect my sanity. If there is something we can agree upon during car time, it's fine.
I haven't met/dated someone that had a polar opposite taste in music. I usually find some commonly liked songs/music that both of us can tolerate and/or enjoy together. I'd like to think something as enjoyable as music isn't going to be a deal breaker in the end.
And honestly, am I the only one who finds this study a little odd? I mean, everyone has different deal breakers. But really, was this study needed?
Men and women for the most part are not going to have the same tastes in music. There are a lot of bands I can't stand to listen to that women just go crazy over, such as Maroon 5, Coldplay, Reliant K, Matchbox 20, etc. Having some common ground helps though. A band like The Beatles creates a great bridge.
Now if your SO forces you to listen to music you clearly hate over and over again, that's a different story.
I've learned that preferences in other matters, such as politics, have a much graver impact on the world than musical taste and it's simpler to just "let it be."
However, I do find that a lack of interest in music puts a damper on my relationships. I get caught up by songs and break them down by picking up on certain lyrics, the rhythm in certain sections, certain notes and harmonies etc. Sometimes I love a piece for the one minute out of five that I find enthralling. Trying to discuss these intricacies and the art form involved in making such mood-manipulators with someone who's what I call a casual listener is a dead end. Casual listeners simply don't understand. Perhaps because they lack an "ear for music", however you define that, or don't have musical talent...eh we're all unique.haha, see here- http://youtu.be/_8JeeDsBUv4
I love Jenna Marbles.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - I happen to be a huge John Prine fan. :)
@Melissa___Dawn@xanga - I thought I'd never meet another one on Xanga who was.
You know, when I was back in the states for a week last month an old friend of mine and I did "In Spite of Ourselves" at an open mic thing. The crowd went nuts. That was fun.
I'm a musician, and even though it's not the end of the world if someone doesn't like my favorite bands, I would also prefer to be with someone who has similar tastes so we can go to concerts together.
But it is a dealbreaker if my potential SO doesn't like the music I write.